Overheard and overseen, child-heavy edition

[resonant]

Since I've found my tarot deck, I show the kidlet how it works.
Kidlet: "Wow! It's like they know what's in my head! They're magic!"
Me: "Well, they're not really like magic. They're more like stories."
Kidlet, indignantly: "Stories are magic."



Not a quote, but tell me this cat doesn't look like Snape.

"I hate Dutch doors. They're not good for anything except hitting people in the face."

"So now that he's with her, suddenly he buys gifts for his family and sends his own Christmas cards, and, I don't know. I guess I'm just bitter."
"Welcome to the Bitter Lands! You can be my roommate!"

I come up the stairs at the gym to find a guy at the top mopping the floor.
Me: "I thought it smelled clean in here."
Guy: "It smells like victory."

T-shirt: "Stop Plate Tectonics"

Kidlet, with great melodrama: "You disappoint me in every way!"

"She's getting close to thirty. She's almost expired."

Choir: "Mary, Mary, what you gonna name that baby? What you gonna call that ho-o-o-oly baby?"
Director: "That's a bad page turn, isn't it? Start again, bottom of 5, What you gonna call that ho."
Choir: [cracks up]
Director: "What?"

"When I think of it, I think of it as a really sad and painful thing, and what would I wear?"

Kidlet: "I hope you know there's a Kleenex in my bed."
Me: "Well? It won't hurt you."
Kidlet: "It would if it developed spikes. Or if it suddenly became hungry."

Kidlet's friend Phoebe: "Here's something I don't get. They know how to make kids' shampoo so it doesn't hurt if it gets in your eyes, right? So why don't they make all shampoo like that?"

Small child at coffee shop -- just barely old enough to talk: "I want money!"

Kidlet's friend Kylie, at about midnight: "I just wanted you to know that if you hear some really loud thumping downstairs, it's only because we're playing unicorns."

Comments

[starwatcher307.livejournal.com]

.
"Stories are magic."

I've felt that ever since I learned to read.

As for the rest -- I giggled all the way through. Thank you.
.

[florahart]

*agrees really hard about the stories*

:D