Smut-writing rant

[resonant]

Today's topic is weed phrases.

You know the ones I mean. "Kissed him senseless." "Felt more than heard."

You don't actually put them there on purpose. You go over and over your story trying to get rid of them. And somehow every time you turn around, there are more of them.



I'm not trying to pick on anybody tonight. My stories are riddled with these things. Everybody's stories are riddled with these things.

Such as ...

planes and angles
touches a spot that makes him see stars (the standard description of the effect of the prostate gland. Guys? Any literal truth in this?)
over the edge
kissing each bit of skin revealed
dusting of hair
once, twice
sharp intake of breath
stray lock of hair
took his mouth
one fluid move
nearly jumped out of his skin
fire crackling [merrily]
sensual assault
every inch of skin
the juncture of neck and shoulder
reversing their positions
aching cock
achingly hard
a harsh, shuddering breath
completely buried inside him
his neglected erection
that talented mouth
"Want more. Want you."
the moment their lips touched, he was lost
pour every ounce of [name emotion here] into the kiss
completely debauched
closed the distance between them
pleasure exploded
balls deep
fingers were removed and replaced by something much harder and hotter
sped his strokes

Comments

[mzcalypso.livejournal.com]

Well...

Most weeds are useful herbs. It's where you plant 'em and whether you know how to use 'em that makes the difference.

I think it'd be a fun challenge to see how many of these you could put into a REALLY BAD slashfic...

>;-D

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

God help us all ...

[darthfox.livejournal.com]

released the breath he hadn't realized he was holding

gosh, and i'm sure there are others. [thinks]

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

Aagghh! First time I used that I thought I'd made it up. Guggh.

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

*pockets list* Thanks. I'm planning a hot J/B scene to end my story, and I'll use this to keep from getting annoying. :)

[halimede.livejournal.com]

Well, note what mzcalypso said here (http://www.livejournal.com/users/resonant8/63303.html?thread=836935#t836935). I think whether it's annoying depends a lot on if it says what you really meant to say, or not. In that sense lists of phrases are not that useful (to me, at least). It's like saying not to say 'said'. Sure it's used a lot, but in the right place you don't even notice it. Not that I'm advocating using any of these as often as 'said', mind...!

[muguet-au-bois.livejournal.com]

Unshed tears. For the love of all that's holy, don't forget the unshed tears.

...schizophrenically yours...

[jood.livejournal.com]

Can I admit simultaneously that the above list of heinously overused smut terminology got me all hot & bothered? (Speaking of cliches.)

::ashamed::

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

Fucked him through the mattress

[mzcalypso.livejournal.com]

Is that like a proxy husband bedding the lady through a hankerchief? Or am I thinking "Princess and the Pea...?"

Either way, he's one tough little bugger! Most guys couldn't even fuck thru a pair of pantyhose!

[darthfox.livejournal.com]

ooh, and if i never read the words "soon-to-be lover" again, it'll be too soon ...

[mzcalypso.livejournal.com]

Ack! Ack! Ack!!!

That is so Hallmark-card fluffporny I hope no one ever uses it again!

[ineke.livejournal.com]

It's painful to see them laid out in all their spleeny glory like that, isn't it?

(And, ahaha, I think I just stole the phrase 'spleeny glory' out of someone's HP story, so look! I'm a case in point!)

On the other hand, I think that it's possible that tropes can be used to good effect. Sparingly used, mind. Perhaps it's a Pavlov's dog kind of thing: an automatic pushbutton that gets you into the sex-reading mood. You read this one phrase, and because it carries with it the... associations... of all the prior hot stories that've used it, it gives the scene a nice resonance.

Or that could just be me.

[daisydumont.livejournal.com]

two words/phrases i've had it with:

pebbled nipples
ghosting [of one character's lips, fingertips, breath, etc., across another's body]

[mzcalypso.livejournal.com]

PEBBLED??

Is that like a popcorn ceiling?

On a MAMMAL??

[bayleaf.livejournal.com]

weakly! I hate it. I snarl every time I see it used.

I <3 you.

[khaoskat.livejournal.com]

You should keep a running list of these. Because, just, yeah.

Dear gods, it IS horrific to see so many laid out like that...

A little PWP poem, all in cliches

[norah.livejournal.com]

The words shot straight to his cock
His eyes were wide and dark with arousal
Oh fuck, he was going to come

_______

And always, always much with the scissoring and twisting of fingers.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's actually ... kind of hot.

[darthfox.livejournal.com]

ooh, and --

"[question, punctuated with a period rather than a question mark]." It was not a question.

that, i can remember doing, and probably recently.

sparingly

[strangerian.livejournal.com]

Most of these were created for a reason, sometimes a good reason, but I've read most of them 'waaay too many times.

[ardent-muses.livejournal.com]

If I never, ever read "over the edge" in a story again, it will be too soon. (And yes, I've used it myself. Hasn't everyone?)

[lilithilien.livejournal.com]

Eek! This is the one that made me go "oh shit" when I saw it on the list. Very very guilty here!

[belleweather.livejournal.com]

Oh God, and can we please, please get "Deepened the kiss" on there. It's my new personal pet peeve. I could live a million years and never be ready to see that in a fic again! And the worst bit is, that I encounter it at least as often in original fic as I do online. Shame shame shame.

[seelechen.livejournal.com]

Haha, I was going to add 'deepened the kiss/contact", but as you've already done it for me, lets see if reading it twice can act as aversion therapy for potential offenders!

[veronamay.livejournal.com]

their tongues duelled
sucked/licked/bit the sensitive/aching nub until it stood erect (actually the word "nub" of itself is a major turnoff for me)

[mzcalypso.livejournal.com]

If the tongues are duelling, are the tonsils acting as seconds?

[flambeau.livejournal.com]

Any use of the phrase "dual sensation/s/". (They often carry people over the edge and/or make them see stars.)

[maryavatar.livejournal.com]

Ahahahaha! That's a public service you're doing there. I should bookmark this for future reference.

[skuf.livejournal.com]

I hate "aching cock" - it sounds very painful to me, the non-native speaker!

Which brings me to a question I have, that may have to do with my status as n-n speaker: I hate "his lover" used during a First Time. Because in my vocabulary use, someone isn't your lover the first time you're in bed together. While "lover" doesn't necessarily denote a deep and meaningful relationship, there needs to be at least one love-making session behind you, before you're officially "lovers".

But I could be wrong?

P.S. Can't stand "sweet spot" as euphemism for prostate gland, either...

[sine-que-non767.livejournal.com]

No, you're so right. *sporks the word lover* It's so...70s. Urgh.

[killabeez.livejournal.com]

Hee! Thank you. As one guilty of more than a few of these, I thank you.

Along with "one fluid move" goes "one smooth motion."

"Bed. Now." (tries to imagine ever saying this, ever, unless she's utterly exhausted, and yet has a feeling she's written it at least once or twice)

Cocks that are freed from their prison/confinement.

Need was in his eyes. (also "aching with need")

This isn't a weed -- more of a plant I'm allergic to -- but if I never ever again see a grown man "scoot" anywhere in a sex scene, it will be TOO SOON.

[lasultrix.livejournal.com]

And it's not like a cock is harder than fingers, really. Well, okay, it doesn't have hinges.

I am now imagining a cock with little metal door-hinges in it. Some kid is proudly calling it his school project.

I need to go away now.

How about...

[evildrem.livejournal.com]

"throbbing cock" - sounds really unpleasant and gives me a horrid visuals.

"Man cream" - *shudders* Just no. Same goes for "love juices", "creamy ribbons" and any other variations of dairy product/sperm combination!

"tight rosebud" or any other flower euphemism for the anus.

Re: How about...

[skuf.livejournal.com]

"Man cream"??

I have never seen that and hope I never shall :o) !

[sine-que-non767.livejournal.com]

This is brilliant, thank you! I'm adding it to my writing list to help me stamp them out!

[sine-que-non767.livejournal.com]

Oh, and 'I want you in me, now,' said Harry unnecessarily.

If it was so unnecessary, why the hell did you WRITE IT?

*headdesks*

[delshaia.livejournal.com]

Random icon love. *g*

[lynnmonster.livejournal.com]

Heh. I was thinking about this very topic the other day, staring at the phrase "rock-hard erection" in a story of my very own. I changed it to something else, then changed it back, because it was crackfic and seemed oddly fitting...

[raucousraven.livejournal.com]

ah, you see: context really is everything, even when determining whether said slash-phrase is weed or, um, weed.

right.