Res ipsa loquitur

Poetry: The Hero's Journey, by Tony Hoagland

2026-04-15T21:25:47Z

( The Hero's Journey, by Tony Hoagland )

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Yay, it's poetry month!

2026-04-04T00:53:51Z

To The Words
by W.S. Merwin

When it happens you are not there

oh you beyond numbers
beyond recollection
passed on from breath to breath
given again
from day to day from age
to age
charged with knowledge
knowing nothing

indifferent elders
indispensable and sleepless

keepers of our names
before ever we came
to be called by them

you that were
formed to begin with
you that were cried out
you that were spoken
to begin with
to say what could not be said

ancient precious
and helpless ones

say it

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Cat farewell

2026-03-07T20:42:01Z

( Cut for pet death )

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JKR offset donations

2025-12-31T21:52:11Z

Sometimes I still get comments and kudos on Transfigurations and my other Harry Potter stories.

Of course I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, fandom belongs to the fans, and the outpouring of love and work and time that created the fandom was ours and remains ours. On the other hand, I don't like the ongoing link to someone who has traded in a career as an author for one as a full-time pro-hate activist.

I don't want to take the stories down. I don't want to orphan them. I just want to be able to take some pleasure in them again.

So starting with 2026, I'm making donations to https://transgenderlawcenter.org and https://give.thetrevorproject.org in honor of fanreaders. That way when the titles come up in my email, I'll have a nice, warm feeling knowing that they're connected with people who are doing something positive for the lives of trans people.

(Thanks to terminally_underwhelmed for recommending the organizations.)

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Going back to work

2025-09-02T22:14:54Z

I start my new job tomorrow! My brain is a hive of bees.

I've been out of work since I was laid off in July 2024. It would have been really inconvenient to be working for a lot of that time, as I was helping my brother see our mother through her decline and death from dementia and also having some serious health issues of my own. (And Mom left me some money, which allowed me to say "I'm too stressed to job-hunt" and then not job-hunt, a rare luxury that I'm very grateful for.)

But I have to admit I've also been bored and restless and lonely. It will be nice to have co-workers, and tasks, and a paycheck again.

On the other hand, it's been thirteen months since I consistently had to be any place in particular in the morning. And the cat is going to be sad.

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Fic anniversary

2025-08-11T15:52:32Z

It was on August 11, 1999, that I (terrified, heart pounding, with a newly chosen pseudonym that I wasn't even quite sure I liked) hit Send on the message that put a Sentinel PWP called "Anoint" out on the SXF mailing list.

(This is really not meant to encourage anybody to go read that story, because I put it on AO3 for what felt like historical reasons, but I do not in any way think it's GOOD.)

I'm still happy to be here.[waves at old and new friends]

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Chicken adventures

2025-08-01T19:55:49Z

Last time I saw my hairstylist, she had just bought four chicks and was embarking on a lifestyle of backyard chicken-keeping. She told me all their names. It was sweet.

Turns out chick-sexing is an imperfect art. Over the intervening month, she started to hear one of the birds crowing, but it took a while to figure out which one. It was Dottie.

My stylist called everybody she knew out in the county until she found someone who was both interested in rooster and zoned for rooster. When she was carrying Dottie out to the car to take him to his new home, he crowed a goodbye at the coop as they passed.

Out of the coop they heard some farewell cackling. And more crowing.

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New Sinners story: "Five Musicians Who Owe Their Careers To Stack Moore (And One Who Doesn't)"

2025-07-27T20:44:52Z

Five Musicians Who Owe Their Careers To Stack Moore (And One Who Doesn’t) (394 words) by Resonant
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Sinners (2025)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Elias "Stack" Moore, Billie Holiday, Paul Simon, Lil Nas X (Musician), Rhiannon Gidden (Musician), Sarah Vaughan (Musician), Prince (Musician)
Additional Tags: music industry, RPF if you're a real stickler
Summary:

It's who you know.

Beta thanks to mific and terminally_underwhelmed.

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Beta wanted: Sinners

2025-07-24T02:26:21Z

Anybody want to beta 400 words of light-as-air Sinners genfic?

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Anybody want a tarot deck?

2025-05-10T20:22:08Z

I bought the Light Seer deck this winter, and it isn't working for me somehow. It's a perfectly good deck, but I'm not connecting with it.

It's a contemporary deck with decent racial diversity, but I'll warn you upfront that everyone in it seems very young; that might be why I can't relax into it. You can see some of the cards at the Comparative Tarot tumblr. I have deck, book, and original box.

I always worry that I'm giving unfair advantage to people in the same time zone as me, so how about an anonymous ranked-choice poll? Let's see how this works. Responses should be anonymous. I'll keep it open for 24 hours and then contact the winner.

No one wanted it, so I gave it to a thrift shop.

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New due South story: "Think But This And All Is Mended"

2025-05-06T17:05:49Z

Nearly a year ago I posted about having a dream that Fraser was removing a full face of theatrical makeup from RayK. Today that finally finds its way into a story. Many thanks to fox for beta.

Think But This And All Is Mended (2045 words) by Resonant
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: due South
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Benton Fraser/Ray Kowalski
Characters: Ray Kowalski, Benton Fraser
Additional Tags: Romance, First Time, Makeup removal
Summary:

The makeup remover from Fraser’s kit smelled unscented. Which was not the same as not having any smell, but at least there wasn’t any pregnant mucus this time. Where Fraser was involved, you had to be thankful for small blessings, smellwise.

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Poetry month: For the New House by Ursula K. Le Guin

2025-04-21T19:38:36Z

For the New House by Ursula K. Le Guin

May this house be full of kitchen smells
and shadows and toys and nests of mice
and roars of rage and waterfalls of tears
and deep sexual silences and sounds
of mysterious origin never explained
and troves and keepsakes and a lot of junk
and a flowing like a warm wind only slower
blowing the leaves of trees and books and the fish-years
of a child’s life silvery flickering
quick, quick, in the slow incessant gust
that billows out the curtains for a moment
all those years from now, ago.
May the sills and doorframes
be in blessing blest at every passing.
May the roof but not the rooms know rain.
May the windows know clearly
the branch and flower of the apple tree.
And may you be in this house
as the music is in the instrument.

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Today's medical tip

2025-04-15T17:47:49Z

If you sometimes have blood in your urine, even just a bit, even just now and then, and you test negative for a urinary tract infection, ask your doctor if you need to see a urologist. If it happens twice (especially if you smoke), TELL your doctor you need to see a urologist.

I've just had my follow-up appointment from having a small cancerous growth removed from my bladder. I'm fine! I feel fine! My prognosis is fine! But I'm glad we caught it early and wish I had gone to a specialist even earlier.

The doctor compared this procedure to removing a malignant mole from your arm or a polyp they find during a colonoscopy, so as procedures go this was a pretty simple one.

I now have to have a cytoscopy to watch for regrowth, and after four years the frequency will go down but I'll have to have them annually for the rest of my life, just another annual thing like a Pap or a mammogram.

I would have pursued more healthcare if I hadn't been scared. So if you're scared the way I was, I'll put some details below the cut; if you're squeamish, maybe don't click that arrow.

( cut for gross stuff )

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Happy Poetry Month! Summers Ago, by Isabella Gardner

2025-04-01T18:53:16Z

This one is very delightful to read aloud.

Summers Ago
by Isabella Gardner

For Edith Sitwell

The Ferryman fairied us out to sea
Gold gold gold sang the apple-tree

Children I told you I tell you our sun was a hail of gold!
I say that sun stoned, that sun stormed our tranquil, our blue bay
bellsweet saltfresh water (bluer than tongue-can-tell, daughter)
and dazed us, darlings, and dazzled us, I say that sun crazed
(that sun clove) our serene as ceramic selves and our noon glazed cove,
and children all that grew wild by the wonderful water shot tall
as tomorrow, reeds suddenly shockingly green had sprouted like sorrow
and crimson explosions of roses arose in that flurry of Danaean glory
while at night we did swoon ah we swanned to a silverer moonlight than listen or lute,
we trysted in gondolas blown from glass and kissed in fluted Venetian bliss.

Sister and brother I your mother
Once was a girl in skirling weather
Though summer and swan must alter, falter,
I waltzed on the water once, son and daughter.

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Three-dimensional space poll

2025-02-14T03:46:07Z

Poll is set to be viewable by all, so make privacy choices accordingly.

View Poll: where in the world are we?

Me myself, I'm in the U.S. I'm not from Iowa but I'm in Iowa.

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New due South story: "A Guy On Fire"

2025-01-22T17:52:00Z

A Guy On Fire (11297 words) by Resonant
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: due South
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Benton Fraser/Ray Kowalski
Characters: Benton Fraser, Ray Kowalski
Additional Tags: Romance, First Time, Sex Pollen, Dubious Consent, Sort Of, because sex pollen, Aphrodisiacs, Post-Canon, Back to Chicago, Pining while fucking
Summary:

“It’s a flashback. I took the drug voluntarily.”

“No you didn’t,” Ray said instantly, because sure he did, suuuuure he did, somebody just went, hey, goody snowshoes, wanna come till you pass out and then come till you pass out in ten years too? just for kicks, just because I asked you pretty please? – and then he got it: “Victoria.”

I just happened to notice that a lot of sex pollen stories didn't really have a lot of sex scenes in them. What was I to do?

This story is more like a sex sampler from my ancestor in smut. I want you to picture the figures picked out with her best backstitch and every i dotted with a French knot.

Thanks the Escapade Discord, especially Greenygal, for thoughts on Dief, which inspired some stuff that may not be very visible in the final draft but was highly significant as underpinning. Thanks to the DueSouthBound Discord's NC17 crowd for encouragement in the very early stage.

Very grateful beta thanks to juniperberry, flownwrong, mific, and especially fox for so many suggestions.

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The Insides of Things

2025-01-17T22:32:55Z

I think I've mentioned before that at the start of the year I like to observe Clean The Insides Of Things January. This year I have to share my joy: I've actually gotten to all the insides* of all the things** in the entire apartment. I don't think I've ever managed to do that in one year before; usually I get to a couple of rooms one year and a couple of rooms the next. Last year I was recovering from surgery and didn't get anything cleaned.

Dare I hope I'll actually be able to do Fixit February too?

* except for the insides of things that still belong to the kidlet.

** except for the chest freezer, which will have to wait until (1) it's not 6 days until garbage pickup comes and (2) it's not freaking 51 degrees outside.

As if to reward my hard work, last night I dreamed Callum Keith Rennie asked me to paint his nails black. His cuticles were a disgrace, but that's very punk rock of him.

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Mom's death

2025-01-08T17:31:59Z

I'd appreciate kind thoughts or prayers for my family; my mother died yesterday.

I think it was a good death. She was nearly ninety and had been struggling with increasing dementia for several years, and her health started to decline this summer.

About five years ago she suddenly began very urgently working on writing down all the stories of her parents and grandparents, her childhood on the farm, how she met her dearest friend, how she met my dad. We had lots of great conversations, and now I have this priceless document. "I don't know why, but now just seems like the right time," she said.

I won't be able to answer comments, but I appreciate any good thoughts.

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Instead of copaganda

2024-12-12T18:54:09Z

An acquaintance just showed up on LinkedIn with a new job: Wrongful Convictions Unit of the State Public Defender.

I wish I could wave a wand and turn a lot of cop shows into Wrongful Convictions Unit shows.

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Dream

2024-12-06T18:35:21Z

A fictional character played by a young Mark Ruffalo was in my house (in a very fetching black cashmere sweater). He opened a drawer and just threw up in it, in passing. Shoved it closed behind him, vomit and all, and kept going.

So I marched off and found Deadpool (whose current movie I have not seen) and demanded financial compensation for damages I had suffered as a result of interacting with fictional characters. And he pulled out a leather wallet and handed me a wad of cash.

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Job stuff

2024-11-20T19:11:36Z

This is the first time I've ever done a job hunt with what you'd call in-demand skills. It's a trip.

I mean, I don't have a fabulously lucrative new job yet, so maybe this is speaking too soon. But I just got on a screening call, asked the recruiter to repeat herself because I was having difficulty with her accent, and this resulted in me accidentally negotiating the pay upwards.

If you're looking for a career change, and you can write and have good executive function skills, I encourage you to check out proposal management. It's in demand, can be done remotely, and pays a lot better than admin or journalism.

If you don't have relevant experience, the APMP certification seems to be meaningful.

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and extra whip

2024-11-06T14:48:32Z

I'm traveling today, for reasons of ordinary grim family necessity. So this morning I got up, numb with grief, in a hotel room far from home. Texted the word FUCK to the two people I love the most, and got on with it.

At the coffee shop I was wrestling with the unfamiliar payment kiosk because today was a day I wanted to tip a little extra. The barista pushed my mocha over the counter without a lid: "Need you to take a few sips so I'll have room for whip. I was trying to give you a little extra of the good stuff."

In the car I tasted the finished mocha and it was basically a hot fudge sundae. That was when I was finally able to cry.

Little extra of the good stuff to all y'all.

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New due South podfic by SEF: Reel

2024-10-19T02:54:05Z

[Podfic] Reel (40 words) by SEF_podfic
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: due South
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Benton Fraser/Ray Kowalski
Characters: Benton Fraser, Ray Kowalski
Additional Tags: Romance, Dancing, Podfic, Audio Format: Streaming, Podfic Length: 10-20 Minutes, Audio Format: MP3
Summary:

Real life is confusing, but a dancer always knows where he's supposed to be. [podfic version]

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New due South podfic! "Getting There"

2024-10-15T02:16:46Z

[podfic] Getting There (27 words) by SEF_podfic
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: due South
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Benton Fraser/Ray Kowalski
Characters: Benton Fraser, Ray Kowalski
Additional Tags: Romance, necking, First Time, Podfic, Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: Streaming, Podfic Length: 0-10 Minutes
Summary:

Maybe one day Ray would just say, "Fraser, shut up," and when Fraser gave him that wounded look, Ray would kiss him. [podfic version]

With music and everything!

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What's up with me

2024-10-09T17:05:13Z

Been missing DW. So I thought I'd try posting as well as reading and see how that worked!

Current status:

IRL:

Still job-hunting after getting laid off this summer.

I got access to jobs coaching as part of my severance, and I didn't think much of the idea but the execution has been amazing. I've loved having assignments to help me break the whole process down into manageable steps, and encouragement from someone who understands my field. And just in the ten years since I last job-hunted, the process has changed so much (mostly around finding remote work with no local contacts) that it's helpful to have some guidance.

Obligatory self-promo: I'm looking for grant writing or proposal management work, or something else with the same skills combo (writing plus research plus executive function stuff). Someplace smaller than IBM.

Otherwise: still in a commuter marriage. The kidlet (who was asleep on my shoulder while I wrote my very first fanfic) left for grad school in August.

Fannishly:

Back in due South, the warm pond where my fannish life began. Place is pretty lively for source material that went off the air in the previous century!

Slowly dipping back into writing. Currently working on solving the problem that most sex pollen stories don't actually have very much sex in them.

Hi!

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