Best uses for a holodeck

[resonant]

Canonical Trek characters use the holodecks for sports you can't do on a starship (Klingon martial arts, skiing), going to bars, and that kind of amateur-theater-type entertainments that this introvert cannot fathom enjoying. Fanfictional Trek characters also use them to have sex with unavailable co-workers. All perfectly plausible.

But holy crap, you could have a holomassage twice a week.

Other things I would use a holodeck for if I had one:

• "Computer, create some models with my same body measurements, but not my same face, because that's creepy. Now let's try a range of clothing suitable for this interior climate, six outfits at a time. Prioritize freedom of movement. I don't look good in yellow."



• In a similar vein, trying out hairstyles. Glasses. No, wait, in the Trek future there are no glasses.



• Physical therapy.



• Dancing lessons.



• A personal trainer. (In my case, dancing lessons and a personal trainer would probably look pretty similar. "No, your left foot. Left. Left.")



• Music rehearsal. Multiple overlapping metronomes and scrolling sheet music. The best accompanist in the sector. A rhythm guide for tricky syncopations. One soprano, one tenor, and one bass. A few carefully selected instruments that you need to time yours to. A whole entire choir and/or orchestra. An ensemble with such sophisticated AI that it could improvise with you.



• Language lessons with someone whose lips you could read. Assuming the speakers of that language had lips. And someone who would converse with you.



• If you have a long, physically tedious computer task to perform, you could holocreate yourself an input device that required you to move your whole body so you wouldn't get repetitive motion injuries. Trackpad? No, I'm using this rowboat.

And think of the things you and your friends could do together other than solve mysteries! Contradancing. Karaoke. D&D. Hell, you could be circus acrobats.

I can't promise that I would never use the holodeck to summon up a fictional character to hug me.

(This line of thought inspired by AxeMeAboutAxinomancy, who is charming me by writing Paris/Kim in 20-for real-21.)

Comments

[adafrog]

Yes! Especially the massage.

[writedragon]

I'd take art lessons from the Masters; can you imagine learning bronzecasting with safety-settings on so you couldn't get hurt?! Holomassage, yes!! Kirk had to wear reading glasses because he's canonically allergic to Retinax 5, but Kirk also predates holodecks. I'd also get all the physiotherapy and trauma therapy I've ever needed to get myself all fixed up.

[muccamukk]

I think Data took dancing lessons at one point. The DS9 characters seemed to have a lot more fun with them generally though.

I liked the "hang out in nature" sub genre. I'd really miss trees and birds and water if I was on a beige space ship.

[resonant]

Or, like, personalized yoga classes - like not just "beginner" but something hyperspecific like "I have intermediate knowledge so you don't need to explain most poses to me but I have a messed-up groin muscle so it takes me ten minutes to get into a comfortable seated post."

[resonant]

Wow, yes. Like imagine having a pottery studio at your disposal, or the equipment required to sculpt with marble.

I might end up using the deck as like the makerspace at the library - I don't need to own a woodburning set, I don't even need the woodburning set to exist in the real world, I just need one specific piece of wood burned.

[resonant]

Oh, definitely. You could choose nature destinations that aren't really accessible even on-planet - if everyone who wanted could go see the monarch migration, we'd destroy it by loving it too much, but you could go to holo-Costa Rica and walk right through the middle of a cloud of butterflies.

[celli]

Book clubs with the authors, especially for long-ago ones. Death of the Author, amirite? *rimshot*

[resonant]

lol

Not sure if I would want to hear most authors' responses when you read their own stuff, but it would probably be hilarious to read Game Of Thrones with Terry Pratchett.

How about book clubs with *critics*? Twilight with Dorothy Parker?

[resonant]

What if you asked holo-Jane Austen, "What did you mean by such-and-such?" and you got an answer that almost satisfied you, and then later you went back and asked the same question again and got an entirely different answer?

[out_there]

Huh. Those are all very good things. I mean, personally, I might be very tempted to use the holodeck for a nice swim followed by a massage. Or maybe, oooh, snorkeling on some pretty coral reef, just floating around watching bright coloured fish.

[azurelunatic]

Bring a box of files in and the correct remotes, have help going through them, sorting them by topic, and getting them uploaded.

Save your settings and you just have to call up the right program when it's your turn in the scanner lab, no tedious resetting of all the instruments after the other crew got through.


Physical help with holding fabric and sewing a garment for the prototypes.


Sonic shower? Why not immerse yourself in a water tub with a view!

[lunabee34]

I have always thought we only see a tip of the iceberg with the holodeck. I'll be with you booking a massage.

[clevermanka]

Oh, dance lessons god I miss partner dancing yes yes yes.

[celli]

PLEEEEASE

[vickita]

For the record, this

No, your left foot. Left. Left.

is where I laughed so loud I scared the cat. *grin*

[resonant]

Ooh, nice.

I wonder -- in a world where holodecks were common, would there be a problem where people got used to doing dangerous things on Easy mode? Like, I enjoy rock climbing with the setting that makes every fall only 4 feet high. I enjoy scuba diving with the settings set up so that I don't actually need to take lessons and follow safety protocols. Spelunking. Etc. Which is all fine until I get shore leave somewhere and decide I want to do the real thing and then I die.

[resonant]

Wow. I never thought of using the holodeck to provide many hands for whatever you're doing. Like a high-tech quilting bee.

"Ensign Resonant, we need to discuss your holodeck use. People book their time in advance, and it's unacceptable for you to run up with a half-wrapped gift saying, 'Hang on, just give me five minutes because I need someone to put their finger on this bow for me.'"

[resonant]

It does provide a handy Watsonian explanation for why every Trek character is in excellent physical condition, moves without stiffness, and has flattering clothes and hairstyles.

I wonder if captains use it to rehearse tricky diplomatic situations? An hour a day until you can do the Klingon tea ceremony and perform negotiations at the same time.

[resonant]

I did square dancing many years ago -- my only experience with partner dancing -- and it was fascinating to me how when I had a partner who was good at leading, I just mysteriously found myself moving in the right direction at the right speed. (And I wondered whether, if I was good enough, I could do the same for someone else even though I wasn't leading? Or whether that's why they call it leading?)

So basically everybody in the Trek universe should be a great dancer because they can practice with great partners.

[resonant]

Why I was terrible at Jazzercise and constantly lost at Just Dance.

[minoanmiss]

This is the best discussion EVER.

I have seen stories that touch on such uses for the holodeck, but unfortunately my only such was about, um, aggressive aversion therapy after a trauma.

[resonant]

Yeah, fandom's uses are valid, but think of making minor adjustments to gravity in order to build a bunch of beginner exercises in juggling.

[azurelunatic]

I got a whole bunch of fruit on shore leave and I'm going to make all the jam.

[resonant]

Maybe y'all create attractive characters to fall in love with, but I've created a kitchen assistant who will patiently peel and seed as many tomatoes as I want.

[spikedluv]

These (and the ones in comments) are brilliant! I'm also signing up for a massage.

[azurelunatic]

A kitchen assistant who is also Jane Austen.

[azurelunatic]

Tours of sites that are too crowded to be comfortable.

Tours of places that don't exist anymore.

Accessibility features like handrails and ramps in historical sites.

Extremely interesting tour guides who have all the juicy historical gossip.

Why study any given location in a classroom when you could do it immersively!

[out_there]

But in a world with medical tricorders and tjose sickbay beds, and the ease of beaming someone back to the ship, its pretty unlikely that crew would actually die.

So we probably have a whole bunch of crew left in medbay after every shore leave, people who'll claim "but I'm an expeet, I do that dangerous thing all the time (on easy mode)"... 🤣

[clevermanka]

when I had a partner who was good at leading, I just mysteriously found myself moving in the right direction at the right speed.
YESSSSSSSSSS a good lead is amazing. (and yes, that's why they call it leading! 😄)

[likeaduck]

Where are the holoprograms that are just about experiencing the weirdest fucking thing possible? Just set to random, or train an AI a little and let it autogenerate until things get unsettling?

Visit important historical sites, but as if you are 10cm tall. Or 300m.

I want to enter spreadsheets with my rowboat. :(

[likeaduck]

You are a baby otter, this family of appropriately-giant otters treats you as their baby, have a nice otter day doing otter things.

[resonant]

So "more massage than I can currently afford" seems to be a fairly universal fantasy.

[resonant]

*Wow.* This is amazing. It's sort of a weird futuristic cousin of ASMR.

Like have you seen those photos taken inside cellos and such? You could holo yourself down to the size of a tuning peg and just wander around in them.

Or like "high-speed trains pass harmlessly over your head. 45 minutes."

When I was a kid I liked to daydream about what it would be like if all the surfaces of the world were made of trampoline and you could bounce everywhere you went. And nearly everyone I've ever talked to had a kid experience of lying down looking at the ceiling and imagining the room turned upside down, how you'd have to step over the wall at each doorway, how the shower water would flow upward ...

[likeaduck]

Oh wow those photos. Yes! Or even smaller, wander around in microscope-forests. And yeah, trains, trampoline everything, gravity is weird, so may things (that seem relatively easy in the holodeck, honestly)!

[adafrog]

Ooh.. Love a personalized class for riding. And maybe driving where the pony isn't an asshole. lol

[laurenthemself]

I'd be getting all the hugs for sure and also probably playing with cats.

[lunabee34]

Oh yeah. It would be wasteful not to.

[azurelunatic]

Set the dance program to two mirrors at close range. Start braiding the hair of the one in front of you. (For styles that the hairdresser program doesn't know yet, that you can't easily do to yourself.)

[azurelunatic]

Ms. Frizzle is a super popular program.

[jesse_the_k]

Those cello interiors are amazing, and belong in a remake of the Gatherers.

[resonant]

In the universe there must be *lots* of friendly animals that are pleasant to touch.

Program: you can breathe under water so that silvery Paminarian singing eels will sing to you.

Program: Old Earth tigers, but these ones like you and would never hurt you.

[likeaduck]

Do you mean the Borrowers? Because yes, very agreed.

[jesse_the_k]

Yes! Borrowers is just what I had in mind. I can picture them using the cello’s interior as a grand hall for ceremonies.