My threesome manifesto

[resonant]

Why I love threesomes: the porny reasons.

1. Dude. Six nipples. Six hands. Three mouths. Three or more orgasms.
   
2. The piquant mix of voyeurism and participation.
   
3. Odds are, the sex lasts longer.
   
4. Bonus: If the sex lasts longer, even guys may be able to come more than once. Even guys who aren't teenagers.
   
5. Most participants aren't terribly experienced at this sort of thing, which means more new experiences.
   
6. Also, inexperience means more need for logistical thinking. I find logistical thinking really sexy.
   
7. Possibility of two ganging up on one, resulting in some lucky person getting to have both nipples attended to at the same time.
   
8. Possibility that the bossy person will tell the other two what to do, giving me more of the friendly dirty talk I love so well.
   
9. Possibility that the other two will take revenge on the bossy person by pinning his/her hands.
   
10. They encourage thinking outside the box. (On the part of the participants, at least.)
    

Why I love threesomes: the slightly less porny reasons.

1. Nobody has to be left out. (Except Peter Pettigrew and Renfield Turnbull, which sends my brain to a really strange AU place.)
   
2. More scope for various complex emotions happening during the sex scene, including jealousy, possessiveness, competitiveness, etc.
   
3. Hm. Most of my reasons turn out to be smutty ones.

Why I like MMF threesomes in particular:

1. They reframe that tedious story where two men ruin a perfectly good friendship by competing for the same woman. (Or, as copracat once said, "They heal the wound of Camelot.")
   
2. With a woman involved, the sex ought to last longer.
   
3. If a sex scene involves a man and a woman, writers have an annoying tendency to default to penetration and hurry through all the interesting stuff. Add a second man, and it's more difficult for them to do that.
   
4. Don't get me wrong, I love m/m, but it's nice to have at least one person in the sex scene whose sexual response arc matches mine.
   

Things I like to read in threesome smut.

1. Instructions. (I like instructions in any kind of smut.)
   
2. Watching. (Ditto.)
   
3. Begging. (Oh, lord, ditto.)
   
4. People being at various states on the orgasmic journey, so that one person can be totally coming apart at the seams while another is still clearheaded enough to be amused. Or plotting.
   
5. One person arranging another one for the satisfaction of a third.
   
6. Women actually getting as many orgasms as they want.
   

Things I don't like to read in threesome smut.

1. Simultaneous orgasms. But you knew that.
   
2. Simultaneous penetration. Because, first, how likely is it that that would work, really? And second, do you want to be on the bottom underneath a pile of three hundred and fifty pounds of moving male?
   
3. Things that require more coordination than any human has. I'm willing to believe that someone could suck and get fucked at the same time, but he/she probably wouldn't be sucking with any particular skill, you know? Plus I'm always very anxious that the person in the middle will get hurt.
   

MMF threesomes I really like to read (or would really like to read, if there were any).

1. Harry/Ron/Hermione.
   
2. Fred/George/Hermione.
   
3. John/Rodney/Sam Carter. (I've been known to read and enjoy Jack/Daniel/Sam, but I worry about Tealc being left out. For the same reason, I'm OK with any two people from the SGA team together, but when you put three of them together, I worry about the fourth one.)
   
4. Highlander isn't my fandom, but cimmerians has some amazing Duncan/Methos/Amanda.
   
5. Christian/Cyrano/Roxane. (Though I'm afraid there's not much to Roxane except that she's beautiful and flirtatious.)
   
6. Arthur/Lancelot/Guinevere. (Ditto for Guinevere, minus the flirtation.)
   
7. Please forgive me, but I would be all over Aladdin/Jasmine/Genie.

Comments

[lizardspots.livejournal.com]

Omg! I love this - and just at a time when I'm acknowledging that my favourite pairing in the Pirates of the Carribean fandom is Jack/Elizabeth/Will. :D :D You've reinforced my love for M/M/F threesomes. Squeeee. :D I haven't read much Jack/Daniel/Sam *shock horror*, where oh where would I be able to find that?? :O And Fred/George/Hermione! YES!

Please forgive me, but I would be all over Aladdin/Jasmine/Genie

*dies*

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

I couldn't resist linking this in my LJ, hope you don't mind!

[musesfool.livejournal.com]

Mmm...threesomes...

[azarsuerte.livejournal.com]

Nobody has to be left out.

I think this is what it all comes down to, for me. It allows me to write two (or three) overlapping favorite pairings into the same story without one person being left out and unrequited. :-/

Although there are also times (like Nine/Rose/Jack) when the threesome works for me even though *none* of the one-on-one pairings really do. :-o

[dragovianknight.livejournal.com]

Please forgive me, but I would be all over Aladdin/Jasmine/Genie.

Word. Especially since Genie is so, umm, shape-shifty.

[kylandra.livejournal.com]

Oh god, yes.

Word on the "wound of Camelot" business. I'm so bored with love triangles and this whole "who will they choose?" business and somebody getting left out in the cold (well, unless I totally hate the third person, heh). It's so much more fun for them to just share!

[mereol.livejournal.com]

Lol re: Aladdin/Jasmine/Genie....that scene where Genie has like 80 hands. Could be useful.

Myself, I want some Draco/Harry/Ginny.

Oh, and, uh...I have some H/Hr/R and H/G/Pansy in my mems....just sayin'.

[penknife.livejournal.com]

Yay, threesomes! Fun to write for all the reasons you mention, plus getting to write slash and het in a single story without having to orchestrate getting two different pairs of people into bed. Harry/Ron/Hermione never quite did it for me -- probably just a result of not being particularly interested in any of them in a romantic context -- but I've fallen hard for Jack/Will/Elizabeth in PotC.

[alliana07.livejournal.com]

If you want a good Fred/Hermione/George, I recommend:

Temptation (http://community.livejournal.com/books_freckles/5758.html) by inell (my personal favorite)

Calling on A Favor (http://millieweasley.livejournal.com/80290.html) by millieweasley.

Ton-Tonguing (http://foreword.livejournal.com/145218.html) by foreword.

And pretty much anything by inell at her personal journal... try going through the Hermione/Fred/George (http://inell.livejournal.com/tag/hermione/fred/george) tag. Or you can try this amazing community: books_freckles.

[ravenna-c-tan.livejournal.com]

Huzzah! I have to agree! My OT3 is Snape/Harry/Draco, but I have a lot of plot bunnies that take any two of those three and put them with a female third. (I don't know why I'm waiting to write them...) (FYI, I maintain a list of Snape/Harry/Draco fics, The SHaDy Threesomes list, here: http://ravenna-c-tan.livejournal.com/16073.html

And you know about threesome_fics, right?

[tacky-tramp.livejournal.com]

Great list. One of my personal reasons for loving MMF threesomes is that they're a nice counterpoint to the porn industry's obsession with MFF ones.

[thermidor.livejournal.com]

Just wanted to say "hell yeah" on that. HP fandom needs more threesomes. Hell, so do other fandoms :)

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

I'm creeped out that Alladin/Jasmine/Genie doesn't creep me out.

I wonder if there's any good fic out there...

[toft-froggy.livejournal.com]

I, um. Once wrote Aladdin/Genie. I'll have to find it.

[modillian.livejournal.com]

:O YES. YES, ALL THAT. Also? I already knew I loved H/R/Hr, but I never even considered F/G/Hr! I learn new things everyday. And now I want links.

[krytella.livejournal.com]

Threesomes rock my world. In HP, I love Harry/Ron/Hermione, as well as Tonks/Remus/Sirius and Harry/Ginny/Draco (which does not, to my knowledge, actually exist). Within the context of fandom, I like the peacemaking between different shipping camps. And I like the emotional dynamics and conflict of three-person romance. Even outside of PWP. Like a love triangle, there's conflict, but there are so many more possible endings and opportunities for complexity. It doesn't have to be all happy and have nobody left out, but it CAN be that way, and that's a big draw of threesomes for me.

[mercuriosity.livejournal.com]

Just want to add an enthusiastic, "Me, too!" to loving threesomes and to many of the reasons you've given here.

I particularly like m/m/f threesomes because after a while in slash fandom, I get tired of seeing women so often dismissed as nothing more than obstacles in the way of a slash pairing, you know?

[juleskicks.livejournal.com]

Oh, I applaud you. &cheers; The threesome is a dynamic I adore, and have done ever since Aragorn/Boromir/Arwen. There's just so much going on, both on a physical, pr0ny level and an emotional one.

[scribe-protra.livejournal.com]

1) I love you for this. so much. <3

2) I now what to read Alladin/Jasmine/Genie. Curse you, you wonderful woman!

3) You can solve the worrying about Telc being out by foursome. Woo!

here from <lj user="voleuse">

[roz-mcclure.livejournal.com]

Christian/Cyrano/Roxane

DUDE.

DUUUUUUUDE.

She does sass it up quite a bit in the Burgess translation, so there's that to consider as well. DAMMIT. THAT IS SO TOTALLY AWESOME THAT NOW I HAVE TO GO THINK ABOUT IT FOR A REALLY LONG TIME.

[kezzamorphosis.livejournal.com]

Hi,

Was brought here by nost_nenime, my pal from queen_slash.

Really enjoyed this, massively. I write some hardcore at my private writers' journal and am taking your comments to heart as I work on my current project.

I know this isn't really the best post for this, but would you mind if I f-listed you? Right here in front of everyone? (I've bookmarked this post, but my husband will DIE if he finds it when he's looking for his own stuff...)