Plus I have a zit on my chin

[resonant]

I think the universe is messing with me. I don't know how else to explain all the minor stressors coming up one after another.

First it was the house: The washing machine was leaking, and then it fixed itself. The microwave was tripping the circuit breaker, and then that fixed itself. The water heater, alas, did not fix itself.

Then my parents came up with a scheme for my mother's birthday that required us to fly down, stay two days, and fly back up -- a trip too short even to bother to reset my watch.

Then it was the computer; AT&T's one and only local access number went down and stayed down for ten days.

And just about the time it went back up, my car refused to start.

You know what my theory is? I think I'm being recalibrated. Or possibly beta-tested.

So! None of these are major enough to require sympathy, but I'd love it if you'd tell me a joke.

Comments

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Good ones!

How can you tell your ventriloquist is high-tech?
He can throw his voice-mail.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I love light bulb jokes. I have journalism ones, which are yet more obscure:

How many copy editors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I can't tell whether you mean 'change a lightbulb' or 'have sex in a lightbulb'. Can we reword it to remove ambiguity?

How many writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
But why do we have to change it?

How many copy editors does it take to change a lightbulb?
The last time you used this sentence, it mentioned writers. Seems inconsistent.

How many designers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Does it have to be a lightbulb?

How many ad salesmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
(pause) I get it! This is one of those lightbulb jokes, right?

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Oh, that is excellent.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

[snort]

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I've never seen the author's name on that one!

Re: I only know one joke

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

That joke is so you.

[giglet.livejournal.com]

I (as a physics student) learned a slightly different version of this:

First night: Fire breaks out. Engineer grabs a fire extinguisher and puts it out.

Second night: Fire breaks out. Physicist thinks that the fire extinguisher is probably the right solution, but quickly scrambles for his sliderule/laptop, and solves enough of the flammability problem from first principles to rule out other solutions. He grabs the fire extinguisher and puts out the fire (which has caused much more damage than it did the first night).

Third night: Fire breaks out. Mathematician sees it, remembers what the other two did, and goes back to sleep, since he's reduced it to a problem already solved.

[2am-optimism.livejournal.com]

love these :)

Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, as long as they're very small mice

[themuddyhare.livejournal.com]

what's round, brown, and sits on a piano stool?

Beethoven's last movement!

[uselessplayback.livejournal.com]

That's kind of like one I remember from high school.

(also to be told in rapid sucession)
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Cause it was dead.

Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was tied to the first monkey.

Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Peer pressure.

[maharetr.livejournal.com]

Ha! That actually made me snort out loud [grin]