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Plus I have a zit on my chin
I think the universe is messing with me. I don't know how else to explain all the minor stressors coming up one after another.
First it was the house: The washing machine was leaking, and then it fixed itself. The microwave was tripping the circuit breaker, and then that fixed itself. The water heater, alas, did not fix itself.
Then my parents came up with a scheme for my mother's birthday that required us to fly down, stay two days, and fly back up -- a trip too short even to bother to reset my watch.
Then it was the computer; AT&T's one and only local access number went down and stayed down for ten days.
And just about the time it went back up, my car refused to start.
You know what my theory is? I think I'm being recalibrated. Or possibly beta-tested.
So! None of these are major enough to require sympathy, but I'd love it if you'd tell me a joke.
First it was the house: The washing machine was leaking, and then it fixed itself. The microwave was tripping the circuit breaker, and then that fixed itself. The water heater, alas, did not fix itself.
Then my parents came up with a scheme for my mother's birthday that required us to fly down, stay two days, and fly back up -- a trip too short even to bother to reset my watch.
Then it was the computer; AT&T's one and only local access number went down and stayed down for ten days.
And just about the time it went back up, my car refused to start.
You know what my theory is? I think I'm being recalibrated. Or possibly beta-tested.
So! None of these are major enough to require sympathy, but I'd love it if you'd tell me a joke.
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But. Anyway. Joke:
Q. How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Two. One to find the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with marbles.
This joke makes me cackle with glee. Which probably says something about me, really...
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How many Microsoft engineers does it take to deliver clean code?
More.
How many dynamic, ethical, intelligent, committed, creative politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
... It's going to be a long, dark four years, isn't it?
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Q: How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to do it, and four to scoff and say "I could have done it better."
Q: How does a soprano change a light bulb?
A: She holds it in place and waits for the world to revolve around her.
Q: How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to get the ladder, and four to say "-tsk- Too high for her."
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but the light bulb has to really want to change.
Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: "Don't mind me ... I'll just sit here in the dark ..."
Q: How many Luddites does it take to change a candle?
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Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, as long as they're very small mice
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And double LOL—sad, but true, that last one. Alas.
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A: None -- Klingons aren't afraid of the dark!
(Michael Dorn told this one at a SciFi convention many many years ago...)
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Q: How many surrealists to change a light bulb?
A: Fish.
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