Overheard

[resonant]

Pastor Fixit: "Here's a Lent calendar for you."
The White Sheep: "Is it going to be depressing?"
Pastor Fixit: "Yeah. He still dies in the end."

Kidlet, looking at mirror on floor: "Oh, look! A door into another dimension!"



Choirmaster: "Where can I stick the handbells?"

At a restaurant: a waitress, with both hands full, kicks a dropped knife across a tile floor. Imagine the sound.

Me: "Why'd you make so many different kinds of Christmas cookies?"
The White Sheep: "I thought I'd stop after one, and then I thought, hey, I'm already butt-deep in flour."

At choir: "I first put on a choir robe when I was fourteen. I have no Sunday clothes."

Kidlet: "You'll get home just in time to do homework."
Friend: "Oh, no. I hope I drop dead. No, wait. I hope I drop asleep."

Kidlet invents a word: idiosyncronym. (They were actually trying to say analogy, but we decided that an idiosyncronym is a word that has meaning only to you.)

I buy the spouse a pair of those fingerless gloves with the attached mitten-like cover that you can flip over your fingers. He says: "I love these things. You just flip the top back and you can use your fingers. I think this is how it must feel to be a cat."

Me: "Wonder who put the 'grim' in 'pilgrim'?"
Spouse: "I think it was Nathaniel Hawthorne."

Spouse: "I need more crackers. I can't grade this paper without crackers."

At the church office: "And I look at the volunteer board and there's dead people on it."

At the coffee shop: "We broke all these cups. It was like the Great Cup Massacre of 2007."

Me: "You're very silly."
Kidlet: "I can't help it. It's my heritage."

At the coffee shop:
"Elephants are awful."
"Elephants are obtrusive and big."

"This is different. This was written by an old dude."



Guess I should introduce the White Sheep next. She's the Christian Education director: A nice young woman who's apparently from a very naughty family. Her conversation is peppered with phrases like "my mother's fifth husband ..." and "the last time I talked to my sister when she was sober ..."

edited 2020 to retroactively correct the kidlet's gender pronouns

Comments

[binkii822.livejournal.com]

Lollerskates!

I work in a presbyterian church too, though admittedly I teach preschool, so less church staff, more the church writes my pay checks - but the behind the scenes debacles and comments I run across are always a hoot

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

There's a surprising amount of wackiness in a church office. And then there was the day when a funeral was happening, and I went downstairs to put out some copies of the sermon the way I always do and there was a dead body in a coffin in the entryway!

[somniesperus.livejournal.com]

I love these posts. They always put a big dumb grin on my face.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Oh, good!

[elynross.livejournal.com]

I love these posts. I never hear this much funny stuff! *g*

I buy the spouse a pair of those fingerless gloves with the attached mitten-like cover that you can flip over your fingers. He says: "I love these things. You just flip the top back and you can use your fingers. I think this is how it must feel to be a cat."

This one made me laugh out loud!

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

It occurs to me that I haven't seen those gloves in a couple of days. I do hope he hasn't lost them already.

[worn-words.livejournal.com]

hehehe, so many of these made me giggle :3

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

So glad!

[china_shop]

At the church office: "And I look at the volunteer board and there's dead people on it."

Heeee!

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

If you search the database for wedding anniversaries, you get mostly dead people, too. By the time I took the job, I was already about six months behind.

[china_shop]

That sounds like a recipe for disaster. /o\

[jimpage363.livejournal.com]

God, I love what you overhear!! The Husband and I keeled over at the Pastor. Thanks for sharing these!

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

She's a nut, all right.

[laurie-ky.livejournal.com]

They were all funny, but I liked your daughter's the best.

Laurie

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

She amuses me to no end, but I try not to fill entire posts with kidlet quotes.

[firesprite1105.livejournal.com]

Your husband totally wins with that cat mittens quote!

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I guess if you were a cat, your mitten cover would slide back automatically, which would be even cooler.

[chickwriter.livejournal.com]

Me: "Wonder who put the 'grim' in 'pilgrim'?"
Spouse: "I think it was Nathaniel Hawthorne."

HA!!! This made me snort into my breakfast.

Love these posts!

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[randomblade.livejournal.com]

decided that an idiosyncronym is a word that has meaning only to you

Amazing. best new word I've heard for ages. Can I use it?

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

It's great, isn't it? Sure, feel free. It's my great wish to set a word or phrase in motion and see it enter the language.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Kidlet, looking at mirror on floor: "Oh, look! A door into another dimension!"

This makes me want to get her a copy of On Writing and a blank notebook and tell her to start on scifi young. :D

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I know! She's got just the right brain. Currently she's working on a long WIP involving a pair of unicorn twins who defeat some sort of bull-like creature, but mostly what she's doing is changing the typeface. Already procrastinates like a real writer. I'm so proud.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

Hey, typeface is important! Don't underestimate the creative assistance of a truly excellent font.

According to most Torchwood fanwriters, the more unreadable it is, the better.

Unicorn twins, huh? I like your kid's style.

[ancientsavvy.livejournal.com]

oh thanks so much for sharing these! They make me giggle! :-)

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad!

[coreopsis.livejournal.com]

Idiosyncronym is the best word ever. The White Sheep sounds like a hoot to work with.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

She is -- plus she keeps candy in her office, so bonus. And we needed the word idiosyncronym. We just didn't know it.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

I lost it so hard over these!

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Good!

[springwoof.livejournal.com]

very cool! you're the *best* listener and overhear-er

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I eavesdrop like crazy, even when I should be writing.