My threesome manifesto

[resonant]

Why I love threesomes: the porny reasons.

1. Dude. Six nipples. Six hands. Three mouths. Three or more orgasms.
   
2. The piquant mix of voyeurism and participation.
   
3. Odds are, the sex lasts longer.
   
4. Bonus: If the sex lasts longer, even guys may be able to come more than once. Even guys who aren't teenagers.
   
5. Most participants aren't terribly experienced at this sort of thing, which means more new experiences.
   
6. Also, inexperience means more need for logistical thinking. I find logistical thinking really sexy.
   
7. Possibility of two ganging up on one, resulting in some lucky person getting to have both nipples attended to at the same time.
   
8. Possibility that the bossy person will tell the other two what to do, giving me more of the friendly dirty talk I love so well.
   
9. Possibility that the other two will take revenge on the bossy person by pinning his/her hands.
   
10. They encourage thinking outside the box. (On the part of the participants, at least.)
    

Why I love threesomes: the slightly less porny reasons.

1. Nobody has to be left out. (Except Peter Pettigrew and Renfield Turnbull, which sends my brain to a really strange AU place.)
   
2. More scope for various complex emotions happening during the sex scene, including jealousy, possessiveness, competitiveness, etc.
   
3. Hm. Most of my reasons turn out to be smutty ones.

Why I like MMF threesomes in particular:

1. They reframe that tedious story where two men ruin a perfectly good friendship by competing for the same woman. (Or, as copracat once said, "They heal the wound of Camelot.")
   
2. With a woman involved, the sex ought to last longer.
   
3. If a sex scene involves a man and a woman, writers have an annoying tendency to default to penetration and hurry through all the interesting stuff. Add a second man, and it's more difficult for them to do that.
   
4. Don't get me wrong, I love m/m, but it's nice to have at least one person in the sex scene whose sexual response arc matches mine.
   

Things I like to read in threesome smut.

1. Instructions. (I like instructions in any kind of smut.)
   
2. Watching. (Ditto.)
   
3. Begging. (Oh, lord, ditto.)
   
4. People being at various states on the orgasmic journey, so that one person can be totally coming apart at the seams while another is still clearheaded enough to be amused. Or plotting.
   
5. One person arranging another one for the satisfaction of a third.
   
6. Women actually getting as many orgasms as they want.
   

Things I don't like to read in threesome smut.

1. Simultaneous orgasms. But you knew that.
   
2. Simultaneous penetration. Because, first, how likely is it that that would work, really? And second, do you want to be on the bottom underneath a pile of three hundred and fifty pounds of moving male?
   
3. Things that require more coordination than any human has. I'm willing to believe that someone could suck and get fucked at the same time, but he/she probably wouldn't be sucking with any particular skill, you know? Plus I'm always very anxious that the person in the middle will get hurt.
   

MMF threesomes I really like to read (or would really like to read, if there were any).

1. Harry/Ron/Hermione.
   
2. Fred/George/Hermione.
   
3. John/Rodney/Sam Carter. (I've been known to read and enjoy Jack/Daniel/Sam, but I worry about Tealc being left out. For the same reason, I'm OK with any two people from the SGA team together, but when you put three of them together, I worry about the fourth one.)
   
4. Highlander isn't my fandom, but cimmerians has some amazing Duncan/Methos/Amanda.
   
5. Christian/Cyrano/Roxane. (Though I'm afraid there's not much to Roxane except that she's beautiful and flirtatious.)
   
6. Arthur/Lancelot/Guinevere. (Ditto for Guinevere, minus the flirtation.)
   
7. Please forgive me, but I would be all over Aladdin/Jasmine/Genie.

Comments

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I'd be surprised if there's any, unless someone has written a stray Yuletide story.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Oh my god. Find it. Seriously. I want to read it.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

For some reason, my "sibling incest bores me" thing doesn't apply to Fred and George. Maybe it's a twin thing.

[alliana07.livejournal.com]

Welcome! :D

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Yeah -- more possibilities, more complexity, more change = good thing!

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

It's true -- and there are some wonderful female characters out there not getting any love because the only logical people to pair them with are the guys we like paired with each other.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

It is! It's like slash only more so.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I want to read it, too! Wish someone other than me would write it!

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

Google says there's nothing, but maybe that's just because I'm searching the wrong strings. *hopes vainly* =P

[kezzamorphosis.livejournal.com]

Hi,

Was brought here by nost_nenime, my pal from queen_slash.

Really enjoyed this, massively. I write some hardcore at my private writers' journal and am taking your comments to heart as I work on my current project.

I know this isn't really the best post for this, but would you mind if I f-listed you? Right here in front of everyone? (I've bookmarked this post, but my husband will DIE if he finds it when he's looking for his own stuff...)

[rushthatspeaks.livejournal.com]

It's right here. (http://toft-froggy.livejournal.com/94907.html)

How odd is it that I found this directly before stumbling across this entry from a completely different direction?

Re: here from <lj user="voleuse">

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I so wish someone would write this! Complete with Cyrano composing an ode for the purpose and being interrupted in a porny way before he could finish the final couplet!

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Hey, go ahead -- feel free! Nice to meet you.

[kezzamorphosis.livejournal.com]

Nice to meet you, as well!

Do you know any sites where I can get good references for gay sex, a how-to of slash writing? I mean, I don't want to offend anyone who might be reading my writing down the line, and certainly want to avoid any stereotypes...

If ya know what I mean.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Well, you can't do better than Minotaur's Sex Tips For Slash Writers. (http://www.squidge.org/~minotaur/classic/eroc.html) Minotaur (minotaurs) is a male slashers, so he's very knowledgeable about both the conventions of the field and the mysteries of the male body.

The Slash Online Database (http://fictionresource.com/links/index.php) has many useful links, too.

[fishbaum.livejournal.com]

Any specific recs? ;)

Re: Thank you!

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the rec. (: