Out?

[resonant]

The original sci-fi erotica I'm writing for dementordelta (which I'm now thinking of as "the pouch porn") is getting a lovely polka of a beta, and I'm psyched to do a second draft tomorrow. I'm all excited about it.

In other news, I'm somewhat freaked out because without planning to at all, I went and told my best friend I'm bisexual. This is not a confession I routinely make, in the nonvirtual world -- the spouse knows, but I don't share it freely -- but it came up in conversation, and there was this moment where really my choice was to lie out loud with words ("Oh, yeah, I don't get that either") or to tell the truth.

It was terrifying.

She ... says I'm wrong. "You're not, really," she says.

This is reassuringly normal for her, actually, so my eye-rolling is much softened by relief. However, I still spent the rest of the afternoon feeling strangely freaked out. Guilty, actually, as if I'd done something wrong.

I think I don't tell the truth enough. I need more practice.

Comments

[china_shop]

I think t-shirts are the answer. It's there, in the open, but you don't have to say it, and if they want to talk about it, they have to bring it up.

Not that I have a t-shirt, oh no. (Well, I have one that says 'Bi NZ Maid', but the writing is small and no-one reads it: they just look at the 'buy NZ made' logo.) I have pride rings that I wore for some years; people would ask about them and, depending on circumstances, I'd answer 'my coloured curtain-ring collection' or 'I got them at the gay and lesbian fair' (suitably vague). I have a 'Go Fish' t-shirt, which is I guess only going to be noticed by queer women anyway.

But yeah, especially now I have a male partner, it's so much easier to come out non-verbally. (No, not non-verbally like that! Like the other thing!) I should practise what I preach.

She's your best friend? Hence being open with her is good. Don't feel guilty. (This is advice, rather than the bossy order it sounds like. ;-)

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Actually, now that the Tech Goddess knows, there are really no relationships left to risk by being honest (except my relatives, which is a whole different ballgame). Maybe I should get a T-shirt. "Monogamous, but still looking at your breasts," maybe.

[zebra363.livejournal.com]

I think t-shirts are the answer.

Artwork in your house is good, too. I'm not very out about slash, but I have a framed Steve Walker (www.questart.com) print of a gay couple at home and I make sure that everyone who visits sees it. It says "pro-homosexuality" loud & clear.

[china_shop]

Oh, that's a great idea! I'm out on my bookshelf, but not on my walls.