My woe is iambic

[resonant]

I want to read some smut and there is none.
I think the universe is very rude.
I thought this evening would be much more fun;
I want to read some smut and there is none.
Am I reduced to knitting like a nun?
Or reading things where people don't get nude?!
I want to read some smut and there is none.
I think the universe is very rude.

Comments

[reginagiraffe]

♥!


(All I have to give is Matt Bomer in a wet t-shirt.)

[resonant]

Better than nothing!

[panisdead]

"I'm nude," said the nun
"But this acrylic-blend yarn
entices like gen"

[resonant]

Wild applause!

soft

[beachlass]

John loves the soft spaces on Rodney's body. Loves to nuzzle into Rodney's thighs, kiss along the inside of his arms, suck down his belly and bite his ass. Loves to rub his palms against soft skin, dig his fingers in, wrap himself around a comfortable body. He loves the strength underneath, loves that the busy mind belongs to all of Atlantis, that the strength belongs to the team, but the soft spaces are his to enjoy. To lavish. To suck.

He loves Rodney's cock when it's soft. (He loves it hard, too. Please, you knew that right?) But soft is for him - bedtime soft when they're tired, sleepy-soft when Rodney is napping, after sex soft damp and smeared with lube and cum. Loves the way (after the hardness, the thrusting and stroking and gasping) Rodney's soft cock fits into John's palm, hand between soft thighs, even Rodney's breath softening.

Re: soft

[resonant]

Ooh, pretty!

Re: soft

[monanotlisa]

♥ ♥ ♥

[china_shop]

♥!!!

[resonant]

If I must whine, the least I can do is provide a rhyme scheme.

[sara]

What kind of smut d'you want? This is the internet, there's always smut. It may not be very good smut, but it's there.

[resonant]

... what would I want if I could have anything I want?

After giving it some thought, I think it would be some iteration of Sherlock Holmes (contemporary or historical, I don't care) in a story that had smut and did not have the following features:

- Holmes being literally a sociopath
- Watson being broken beyond all repair by the war
- Holmes being way more attractive than Watson -- to everyone -- and knowing it (it throws the balance of the relationship off, and IMO is canonically improbable as well)
- Holmes and Watson being angry with each other when the story begins and still angry with each other when the story ends
- Watson being stupid like Kate Beaton's jam-loving New Watson
- Holmes being either so emotionally available that I don't believe it's really him, or so emotionally unavailable that the whole relationship is a hopeless case
- Watson already being in love with Mary
- The whole thing being the kind of established-relationship story that boils down to "They were happy and they had a lot of sex. Here's an example."

[sara]

*pokes bookmarks* Sorry, I think the only relatively-recent thing I have in here like that hasn't got any actual fucking in. Hmm.

[pulangaraw]

Uhm, I don't usually self-pimp, but if you are still looking for Sherlock smut, I have written a few pieces recently that might fit the bill(?). They can be found at my journal. :)

Here via china_shop, btw. :)

[resonant]

I'll check them out. Thanks!

[carolyn_claire]

This sounds like a job for kinkmeme!

[bookshop]

may-haps you'd like to try some arthur/eames?
(and some that aren't so smutty, just for fun?)

[resonant]

I do not yet know who those people are,
but that's how all my fandoms have begun ...

[bookshop]

Arthur/Eames! Inception OTP!
They do to dreams what McShep did to math. ;)

[out_there]

They do to dreams what McShep did to math. ;)

*ADORES* They absolutely do. Although, really, the attention the fic pays to men's clothing is also a thing of beauty.

[sara]

Just take an anti-seasickness tablet before you go to the theatre. Inception: the film that taught me that I can be triggered into a full-blown migraine by flashing lights and jigglecam!

...I liked it anyhow, but the barfing and shooting pains afterward were a bit much. I suspect I will like it a lot better on DVD.

[azurelunatic]

I'll wait to see them on the silver screens
Then to the lovely smutty fic I'll run
(and some that aren't so smutty, just for fun)

[spuffyduds]

I LOVE YOU A LOT.

[shayheyred]

Oft in this life we're faced with great regret
That smut we seek yet smut we cannot get.
For where soe'er we look we see it not,
And what limp smut we find is not quite...hot.
In cases such as these there's but one way
To find the smut we want right now, today:
Seek it no more, on tube or 'net or shelf,
But take your pen and write the smut yourself!

[carolyn_claire]

Persuasive, yet I never will believe
'Tis better to give smut than to receive.

[shayheyred]

'Tis true; 'tis true 'tis pity, and pity 'tis, 'tis true;
I'd really much prefer to get a gift of smut from you!

[china_shop]

*applause*

(I knew it would be worth coming back to check the comments. *g*)

[azurelunatic]

Metaquoted!

[shayheyred]

Hee hee,yay!

[kass]

I love you a lot right now.

[themostepotente]

*claps wildly*

[the_shoshanna]

OMG I love you.

[happydork]

Heeh! This post and the poetry in the comments brightened my day! I hope you found the smut your heart desired.

[monanotlisa]

♥

[lee_rowan]

Have a spot o' sailor smut:

http://bookworld.editme.com/SailAway

[krait]

I ♥ you SO MUCH for that! *iz ded*

Everything is better in iambic pentameter. Even woe and frustration!

[wanted_a_pony]

Here from metaquotes, to say: you rule!

My poet/librarian friends & I have been wracking our brains & tossing our old references trying to ID your lament's form. It's like a rondelet or villanelle, but not--what is it, please?

[resonant]

It's a triolet!