in some solitary midnight Starbucks Golgotha
Apr. 22nd, 2025 07:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
musesfoolToday's poem:
I Have News for You
There are people who do not see a broken playground swing
as a symbol of ruined childhood
and there are people who don't interpret the behavior
of a fly in a motel room as a mocking representation of their thought process.
There are people who don't walk past an empty swimming pool
and think about past pleasures unrecoverable
and then stand there blocking the sidewalk for other pedestrians.
I have read about a town somewhere in California where human beings
do not send their sinuous feeder roots
deep into the potting soil of others' emotional lives
as if they were greedy six-year-olds
sucking the last half-inch of milkshake up through a noisy straw;
and other persons in the Midwest who can kiss without
debating the imperialist baggage of heterosexuality.
Do you see that creamy, lemon-yellow moon?
There are some people, unlike me and you,
who do not yearn after fame or love or quantities of money as
unattainable as that moon;
thus, they do not later
have to waste more time
defaming the object of their former ardor.
Or consequently run and crucify themselves
in some solitary midnight Starbucks Golgotha.
I have news for you—
there are people who get up in the morning and cross a room
and open a window to let the sweet breeze in
and let it touch them all over their faces and bodies.
--Tony Hoagland
*
I Have News for You
There are people who do not see a broken playground swing
as a symbol of ruined childhood
and there are people who don't interpret the behavior
of a fly in a motel room as a mocking representation of their thought process.
There are people who don't walk past an empty swimming pool
and think about past pleasures unrecoverable
and then stand there blocking the sidewalk for other pedestrians.
I have read about a town somewhere in California where human beings
do not send their sinuous feeder roots
deep into the potting soil of others' emotional lives
as if they were greedy six-year-olds
sucking the last half-inch of milkshake up through a noisy straw;
and other persons in the Midwest who can kiss without
debating the imperialist baggage of heterosexuality.
Do you see that creamy, lemon-yellow moon?
There are some people, unlike me and you,
who do not yearn after fame or love or quantities of money as
unattainable as that moon;
thus, they do not later
have to waste more time
defaming the object of their former ardor.
Or consequently run and crucify themselves
in some solitary midnight Starbucks Golgotha.
I have news for you—
there are people who get up in the morning and cross a room
and open a window to let the sweet breeze in
and let it touch them all over their faces and bodies.
--Tony Hoagland
*
Haikai Fest: "'The World's Most Popular Spring Flower'"
Apr. 22nd, 2025 06:21 pmjjhunterLet's take a breath for poetry. It is April, and as good a time as any for a collaborative poetry fest. Please find below a starting stanza or two of a brand new haikai (what's a haikai, you ask? Think extended haiku: alternating stanzas of 5-7-5 and 7-7). Comment with a following stanza to build on that seed. Someone (most likely me) will respond with another stanza, and so on and so forth throughout the day.
===
daffodil focus
bell song, valdrome, pheasant's eye
live stained glass glory
_
===
daffodil focus
bell song, valdrome, pheasant's eye
live stained glass glory
_
Red Boar's Baby
Apr. 22nd, 2025 01:10 pmsholioAs is my usual practice, my latest book as Lauren is available for download for my DW circle for the next week or so!
Download from Bookfunnel.
The download will be up until the book goes live on Amazon on May 2.
(Technically this is Shifter Agents #6, but it's a standalone that shouldn't require any context to read.)
Download from Bookfunnel.
The download will be up until the book goes live on Amazon on May 2.
(Technically this is Shifter Agents #6, but it's a standalone that shouldn't require any context to read.)
Movies: Black Panter 2, Thor 4, Werewolf by Night, GotG Holiday Special, Ant-Man 3, GotG 3
Apr. 22nd, 2025 10:25 pmslippery_fishBlack Panther: Wakanda Forever - I wasn't a big fan of this one which is too bad because I really liked the first movie. Some of the visuals were pretty amazing and I really liked specific stuff: M'Baku is still fucking hilarious, Shuri and Ross have a fun relationship, the ugliness of grief was very well portrayed and Riri is such an awesome addition to the MCU.
But damn, the villain was just freaking annoying, a lot of the movie simply bored me, and it just lacked the magic the first movie had.
Thor: Love and Thunder - I liked this for the most part. There were moments that felt too silly (the scene with Sif almost dying comes to mind) but also very well done moments. I also liked the visuals, especially these scenes in black/white. The world-building was also fun. I also loved Jane and Valkyrie together, that was such a great addition. And while I'm kinda disappointing about them bringing Jane back just to kill her off, I love that she got into Valhalla.
Werewolf by Night - This one was amazing. The noir style, the world-building, the characters. The relationship between Elsa and John works so well. I don't quite ship it because there wasn't enough time for me to really get into it but I kinda could. That scene when he pulls himself together when he is all wolfed out? So good. Also, Ted is adorable and I love his friendship with John.
The Guardians of the Galaxy: Holiday Special - I felt strangely uncomfortable watching this. I think the whole carelessness Drax and Mantis have going on when it comes to Kevin Bacon plus all the scenes that triggered my embarrassment squick kinda got to me. Though how alien Drax and Mantis can come off to humans, how threatening, was an interesting change in tone for these movies. Also loved Nebula in this. I wonder how she got Bucky's arm.
Ant-Man and The Wasp: Quantumania - Okay, this one was another disappointment. I always liked the Ant-Man stuff because it somehow felt more grounded than the rest of the MCU. This movie completely destroyed that. I also wasn't a fan of the way it treated Scott after Endgame and the change in the Scott&Cassie relationship. The ants in the realm were cool, though.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 - With this one, I'm back to liking Guardians stuff again. Loved, loved Rockets relationship with both Peter and Nebula. Especially Nebula, to be honest. They were the only ones who survived the Snap and their origin stories have so many parallels, I love seeing them together.
I also liked how New!Gamora fit in and didn't. Nebula just seeing her as her sister with some memory issues while Peter despairs about who she isn't is interesting to watch. Because they are both wrong but it has different consequences regarding the way they deal with Gamora.
Rocket's origin story is heartbreaking, and the villain is effective and scary and I really just wanted him dead.
In general, lots of great moments.
But damn, the villain was just freaking annoying, a lot of the movie simply bored me, and it just lacked the magic the first movie had.
Thor: Love and Thunder - I liked this for the most part. There were moments that felt too silly (the scene with Sif almost dying comes to mind) but also very well done moments. I also liked the visuals, especially these scenes in black/white. The world-building was also fun. I also loved Jane and Valkyrie together, that was such a great addition. And while I'm kinda disappointing about them bringing Jane back just to kill her off, I love that she got into Valhalla.
Werewolf by Night - This one was amazing. The noir style, the world-building, the characters. The relationship between Elsa and John works so well. I don't quite ship it because there wasn't enough time for me to really get into it but I kinda could. That scene when he pulls himself together when he is all wolfed out? So good. Also, Ted is adorable and I love his friendship with John.
The Guardians of the Galaxy: Holiday Special - I felt strangely uncomfortable watching this. I think the whole carelessness Drax and Mantis have going on when it comes to Kevin Bacon plus all the scenes that triggered my embarrassment squick kinda got to me. Though how alien Drax and Mantis can come off to humans, how threatening, was an interesting change in tone for these movies. Also loved Nebula in this. I wonder how she got Bucky's arm.
Ant-Man and The Wasp: Quantumania - Okay, this one was another disappointment. I always liked the Ant-Man stuff because it somehow felt more grounded than the rest of the MCU. This movie completely destroyed that. I also wasn't a fan of the way it treated Scott after Endgame and the change in the Scott&Cassie relationship. The ants in the realm were cool, though.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 - With this one, I'm back to liking Guardians stuff again. Loved, loved Rockets relationship with both Peter and Nebula. Especially Nebula, to be honest. They were the only ones who survived the Snap and their origin stories have so many parallels, I love seeing them together.
I also liked how New!Gamora fit in and didn't. Nebula just seeing her as her sister with some memory issues while Peter despairs about who she isn't is interesting to watch. Because they are both wrong but it has different consequences regarding the way they deal with Gamora.
Rocket's origin story is heartbreaking, and the villain is effective and scary and I really just wanted him dead.
In general, lots of great moments.
(no subject)
Apr. 22nd, 2025 10:41 pmmarinaWell, it's been 2 weeks since my last post, so here's an update.
( mentions of health issues )
*
In job news, something pretty huge and happy-making has happened???
One of the 4 companies I interviewed with has gotten back to me (after like 7 stages) to say they want me to work for them and they'll send me a contract offer in the next few days (which is standard). Fingers crossed, nothing certain until papers are signed etc, but. BUT.
It's been over a year, and finally I have a job offer.
At least one company wants to pay me a decent salary with all the nice perks and everything.
Now, if I had no other offers and was not in the running for any other position, I would take this one IN A HEARTBEAT. I would take it and be SO GRATEFUL.
But since I am still somehow in the process with 3 other companies, I'm in the weird position of mentally wondering which one I'd choose if they were to make me an offer.
Company #2 - I've finished all the interviews, and they're supposed to get back to me tomorrow on whether they want to check my references, which usually takes 1-2 days and is more of a formality. There's good reason to assume that if they say yes to me tomorrow they'll make me an offer next week.
Company #3 - I'm doing my final interview with them on Thursday, a big presentation, and after that they'll let me know if they're interested, no reference checks. If they want me they'll just make an offer.
Company #4 - the actual company of my heart, that all other considerations aside I would probably choose to work for because I love their product so much - I'm doing my final interview with them on Monday (next week). Of course they have the WORST HR process, so I actually have no idea what their next step is and whether there's something else they'll want to do before deciding yay/nay after Monday.
Now I'm mostly stressed because Company #1, that's already told me they want me, will probably try to pressure me to finalize a contract with them before Company #4 has a chance to decide whether they want me, sigh.
All of these potential roles are so good. None of them are "I can live with that" compromises. All of them are amazing, it's more a question of specific types of amazing, and of course I ideally want the combination that works best for me.
It is utterly surreal to be in this position after a year and 2 months of being unemployed. UTTERLY SURREAL.
But you know, maybe all the other companies will reject me and only Company #1 will remain, which will still be perfectly fine and even great.
Or maybe I somehow manage to fuck up this whole thing and will be left with nothing ////o\\\\ IDK it's just too good to be true at the moment.
Phew. Deep breath. The next 2 weeks will be continued stress, especially since I have a big presentation on Thursday and on Monday, but then... then. I don't know. Maybe, just maybe. *fingers crossed*
( mentions of health issues )
*
In job news, something pretty huge and happy-making has happened???
One of the 4 companies I interviewed with has gotten back to me (after like 7 stages) to say they want me to work for them and they'll send me a contract offer in the next few days (which is standard). Fingers crossed, nothing certain until papers are signed etc, but. BUT.
It's been over a year, and finally I have a job offer.
At least one company wants to pay me a decent salary with all the nice perks and everything.
Now, if I had no other offers and was not in the running for any other position, I would take this one IN A HEARTBEAT. I would take it and be SO GRATEFUL.
But since I am still somehow in the process with 3 other companies, I'm in the weird position of mentally wondering which one I'd choose if they were to make me an offer.
Company #2 - I've finished all the interviews, and they're supposed to get back to me tomorrow on whether they want to check my references, which usually takes 1-2 days and is more of a formality. There's good reason to assume that if they say yes to me tomorrow they'll make me an offer next week.
Company #3 - I'm doing my final interview with them on Thursday, a big presentation, and after that they'll let me know if they're interested, no reference checks. If they want me they'll just make an offer.
Company #4 - the actual company of my heart, that all other considerations aside I would probably choose to work for because I love their product so much - I'm doing my final interview with them on Monday (next week). Of course they have the WORST HR process, so I actually have no idea what their next step is and whether there's something else they'll want to do before deciding yay/nay after Monday.
Now I'm mostly stressed because Company #1, that's already told me they want me, will probably try to pressure me to finalize a contract with them before Company #4 has a chance to decide whether they want me, sigh.
All of these potential roles are so good. None of them are "I can live with that" compromises. All of them are amazing, it's more a question of specific types of amazing, and of course I ideally want the combination that works best for me.
It is utterly surreal to be in this position after a year and 2 months of being unemployed. UTTERLY SURREAL.
But you know, maybe all the other companies will reject me and only Company #1 will remain, which will still be perfectly fine and even great.
Or maybe I somehow manage to fuck up this whole thing and will be left with nothing ////o\\\\ IDK it's just too good to be true at the moment.
Phew. Deep breath. The next 2 weeks will be continued stress, especially since I have a big presentation on Thursday and on Monday, but then... then. I don't know. Maybe, just maybe. *fingers crossed*
If anyone could use a morale boost
Apr. 22nd, 2025 05:17 pmrydra_wonghttps://www.lgbtqnation.com/2025/04/protests-erupt-across-the-uk-after-supreme-court-ruled-against-trans-rights/
Many many pictures.
Also, more protests yet to come, apparently, with ones scheduled for Oxford and Cambridge.
Many many pictures.
Also, more protests yet to come, apparently, with ones scheduled for Oxford and Cambridge.
The Way Spring Arrives and Other Stories, ed. Yu Chen & Regina Kanyu Wang (2022) [part 2]
Apr. 22nd, 2025 11:32 ampauraqueThis is part 2 of my book club notes on The Way Spring Arrives and Other Stories. [Part 1.]
"The Restaurant at the End of the Universe: Tai Chi Mashed Taro" by Anna Wu (2016), tr. Carmen Yiling Yan
( A time-traveling meditation on the rise and fall of people and societies. )
"The Futures of Genders in Chinese Science Fiction" by Jing Tsu (2022) [essay]
( Discussion of the depiction and participation of people of marginalized genders in Chinese SF. )
"Baby, I Love You" by Zhao Haihong (2002), tr. Elizabeth Hanlon
( In the not-too-distant future, a programmer works on a holographic virtual baby while his real family life falls apart. )
"A Saccharophilic Earthworm" by BaiFanRuShang (2005), tr. Ru-Ping Chen
( After a disabling accident, a theater director believes she can teach flowers to dance. )
"The Alchemist of Lantian" by BaiFanRuShang (2005), tr. Ru-Ping Chen
( Every time a godlike being helps a human, their own exile in the mortal world is extended. )
"The Restaurant at the End of the Universe: Tai Chi Mashed Taro" by Anna Wu (2016), tr. Carmen Yiling Yan
( A time-traveling meditation on the rise and fall of people and societies. )
"The Futures of Genders in Chinese Science Fiction" by Jing Tsu (2022) [essay]
( Discussion of the depiction and participation of people of marginalized genders in Chinese SF. )
"Baby, I Love You" by Zhao Haihong (2002), tr. Elizabeth Hanlon
( In the not-too-distant future, a programmer works on a holographic virtual baby while his real family life falls apart. )
"A Saccharophilic Earthworm" by BaiFanRuShang (2005), tr. Ru-Ping Chen
( After a disabling accident, a theater director believes she can teach flowers to dance. )
"The Alchemist of Lantian" by BaiFanRuShang (2005), tr. Ru-Ping Chen
( Every time a godlike being helps a human, their own exile in the mortal world is extended. )
Another thought about B5 5x18
Apr. 21st, 2025 11:11 pmsholioI will be going back to answer recent comments, but first, one more stray B5 thought with spoilers through 5x18.
( Tying up a loose end )
( Tying up a loose end )
Me-and-media update
Apr. 22nd, 2025 06:20 pmchina_shopPrevious poll review
In the vegetables poll, 90.4% of respondents clicked fresh vegetables (bought), 46.2% clicked frozen vegetables, and 44.2% clicked fresh vegetables (homegrown). I was surprised; I thought more people would go frozen for the convenience. (I wonder what that says, if anything, about Dreamwidth demographics.)
In ticky-boxes, hugs came first with 78.8%, followed by a tie between "hanging in there until things settle down and I can sort my life out" and "sunbeams playing in a tree, daring each other to peek around the shadowed side" with 63.5% each. Thank you for your votes!
Reading
Still going on The Horse and His Boy (I am slow and distractable) and the Guardian novel read-along (it's on a schedule). Nothing in audio.
Kdramas
We started Tale of the Nine Tailed, a sweeping epic about a powerful immortal, the reincarnated love of his life, and his bratty younger brother. (Nothing at all like Guardian the novel, why do you ask?) I'm hoping it has enough plot and worldbuilding to hold Andrew's interest; he gets bored during extended romance scenes.
More of Sell Your Haunted House with Pru. And in solo-watching, I started Heesu in Class 2; it's pretty adorable, but also Heesu is the living embodiment of Idiots In Love, and sometimes I have to watch through my fingers.
Other TV
This week's Doctor Who
Episode 1 of Sherlock & Daughter. We were just going to try out the first ten minutes to get a sense of it, but we ended up watching the whole episode. I can forgive Holmes for being a grumpy old man when he has a reason for it.
Our Deadloch rewatch-with-a-friend continues, plus Jentry Chau vs the Underworld, about which I still have no opinion.
My sister and I watched Into the Night (1985 film; Michelle Pfeiffer, Jeff Goldblum, and a vast number of film directors as extras, the only one of whom I knew on sight was Jim Henson). The caper was silly, and the romance plotline was very thin, but Goldblum and Pfeiffer are so watchable that it hung together despite the weird pacing when it lingered on random extras we were supposed to recognise. Lovely to see David Bowie in a small (albeit violently psychotic) role.
Guardian/Fandom
I archived my Murderbot flashficlet, and wow, Murderbot fans are generous with their kudosing. *hearts so much* (In my experience, some fandoms are just more kudosy than others.)
Audio entertainment
I listened my way through all of The Setup, a romance audiodrama about Juan, an anxious art museum curator in NYC, and Fernando, the con artist who's trying to steal a painting. It's great! I'm really into it. And then I got to the end of the available episodes and realised it's not finished yet, ahhhhh! I need to check these things before I start!
(Is it just me or are depictions of anxiety becoming more common in romances? I feel like there's some wish fulfilment going on: people longing to meet The One who is hot, super into them, and will also be incredibly kind and patient and give them effective tips for handling their panic attacks. Not that romances aren't all about wish fulfilment, so why not? Add dimensions to your dream partner!)
Writing/making things
My little 4k exchange fic is becoming somewhat tortured by all the writing advice I'm trying to enact on it. Hopefully I'm not engineering the spark out of the thing. Also, hopefully I emerge from this process wiser and more capable. (It could happen!) Note to self: this story still doesn't have an ending, oops.
Other than that, I'm spending a lot of my life rolling around in meta discussions, yay!
Life/health/mental state things
Oh, look, let's not even talk about it. /o\
Note to self: I had a flu jab on Saturday.
Online life
I'm switching ISPs on Friday. Wish me luck! If I disappear off the face of the internet, that will be why.
Food
Today marks my first attempt at baked potatoes in the slow cooker. *fingers crossed* I forgot to prickle them with a fork before I wrapped them in foil, so who knows.
Good things
Fandom. Writing. Lunchtime dumplings on the back deck. Cephalopod plushies. Queer audiodramas. Friends coming over to watch stuff. Guardian. Home-made salsa. Trivia quizzes. Music and kindness and laughter and love.
In the vegetables poll, 90.4% of respondents clicked fresh vegetables (bought), 46.2% clicked frozen vegetables, and 44.2% clicked fresh vegetables (homegrown). I was surprised; I thought more people would go frozen for the convenience. (I wonder what that says, if anything, about Dreamwidth demographics.)
In ticky-boxes, hugs came first with 78.8%, followed by a tie between "hanging in there until things settle down and I can sort my life out" and "sunbeams playing in a tree, daring each other to peek around the shadowed side" with 63.5% each. Thank you for your votes!
Reading
Still going on The Horse and His Boy (I am slow and distractable) and the Guardian novel read-along (it's on a schedule). Nothing in audio.
Kdramas
We started Tale of the Nine Tailed, a sweeping epic about a powerful immortal, the reincarnated love of his life, and his bratty younger brother. (Nothing at all like Guardian the novel, why do you ask?) I'm hoping it has enough plot and worldbuilding to hold Andrew's interest; he gets bored during extended romance scenes.
More of Sell Your Haunted House with Pru. And in solo-watching, I started Heesu in Class 2; it's pretty adorable, but also Heesu is the living embodiment of Idiots In Love, and sometimes I have to watch through my fingers.
Other TV
This week's Doctor Who
was very silly and meta, set against a background of ominous racism. Hm. But I did enjoy the jokes, and Belinda is great.
Episode 1 of Sherlock & Daughter. We were just going to try out the first ten minutes to get a sense of it, but we ended up watching the whole episode. I can forgive Holmes for being a grumpy old man when he has a reason for it.
Our Deadloch rewatch-with-a-friend continues, plus Jentry Chau vs the Underworld, about which I still have no opinion.
My sister and I watched Into the Night (1985 film; Michelle Pfeiffer, Jeff Goldblum, and a vast number of film directors as extras, the only one of whom I knew on sight was Jim Henson). The caper was silly, and the romance plotline was very thin, but Goldblum and Pfeiffer are so watchable that it hung together despite the weird pacing when it lingered on random extras we were supposed to recognise. Lovely to see David Bowie in a small (albeit violently psychotic) role.
Guardian/Fandom
I archived my Murderbot flashficlet, and wow, Murderbot fans are generous with their kudosing. *hearts so much* (In my experience, some fandoms are just more kudosy than others.)
Audio entertainment
I listened my way through all of The Setup, a romance audiodrama about Juan, an anxious art museum curator in NYC, and Fernando, the con artist who's trying to steal a painting. It's great! I'm really into it. And then I got to the end of the available episodes and realised it's not finished yet, ahhhhh! I need to check these things before I start!
(Is it just me or are depictions of anxiety becoming more common in romances? I feel like there's some wish fulfilment going on: people longing to meet The One who is hot, super into them, and will also be incredibly kind and patient and give them effective tips for handling their panic attacks. Not that romances aren't all about wish fulfilment, so why not? Add dimensions to your dream partner!)
Writing/making things
My little 4k exchange fic is becoming somewhat tortured by all the writing advice I'm trying to enact on it. Hopefully I'm not engineering the spark out of the thing. Also, hopefully I emerge from this process wiser and more capable. (It could happen!) Note to self: this story still doesn't have an ending, oops.
Other than that, I'm spending a lot of my life rolling around in meta discussions, yay!
Life/health/mental state things
Oh, look, let's not even talk about it. /o\
Note to self: I had a flu jab on Saturday.
Online life
I'm switching ISPs on Friday. Wish me luck! If I disappear off the face of the internet, that will be why.
Food
Today marks my first attempt at baked potatoes in the slow cooker. *fingers crossed* I forgot to prickle them with a fork before I wrapped them in foil, so who knows.
Good things
Fandom. Writing. Lunchtime dumplings on the back deck. Cephalopod plushies. Queer audiodramas. Friends coming over to watch stuff. Guardian. Home-made salsa. Trivia quizzes. Music and kindness and laughter and love.
Poll #33020 face blindness extrapolation
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 41
Do you have face-blindness?
View Answers
yes
2 (4.9%)
technically no, but it's not unusual for me to get people confused
23 (56.1%)
especially when they're dressed the same
13 (31.7%)
no
11 (26.8%)
I mix up similar usernames
13 (31.7%)
honestly, they don't have to be that similar
11 (26.8%)
other
1 (2.4%)
ticky-box full of black cats slinking mysteriously in the shadows
27 (65.9%)
ticky-box full of starting a howl
14 (34.1%)
ticky-box of overthinking
20 (48.8%)
ticky-box full of squirrel-dragons with floofy tails, guarding their golden acorns
21 (51.2%)
ticky-box full of hugs
32 (78.0%)
Limericks!
Apr. 21st, 2025 10:15 pmpetraI have recently written limericks in: due South, Interview with the Vampire (TV), Murderbot, Star Wars Original & Prequel Trilogies, and Venom (Movies). Go here for the links and summaries, in alphabetical order by fandom.
I would be happy to write more, so if reading my limericks makes you want more of them, prompt at will.
I would be happy to write more, so if reading my limericks makes you want more of them, prompt at will.