My life is so deep

Something I learned today: If you'd like lots of friendly strangers to start conversations with you, let someone practice her butterfly face-painting on you, and then forget to wash it off before you go grocery shopping.

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Dear high school boy at the pool:

If you want to meet a girl, it's helpful if you actually talk to her, rather than lurking around the edges of her Marco Polo game and staring longingly.

Also, if you had talked to her, you might have learned something that would have fascinated you, such as: Dude. She's eleven.