Overheard and overseen

[resonant]

I have the week between Christmas and New Year's off, but only if I can get that week's work done now. Which means I spent today working on the January newsletter and the Jan. 3 bulletin. Which means that when I came home, it was actually an hour or so before I remembered that, no, Christmas hasn't already happened!

So here's several months' worth of eavesdropping:

Me: "It's raining."
Kidlet: "I know. I was watching the sidewalk dalmatian."



In the coffee shop: "My Spanish teacher said that to me once, and then she died."

Kidlet and spouse, at the same time: "What's a daybed?"
Me: "It has a frame on three sides instead of just head and foot."
Kidlet and spouse, at the same time: "Oh, like a couch." "Oh, like a coffin."

Me: "OK. I'm off to get a pizza. The wonderful pizza of dinner."
Kidlet, to the heavens above: "How is this my mom?"

The White Sheep: "Tacos don't have horns."

At a wedding:
"Oh, you'll change your mind when the right one comes along."
"The right one's in the ground."

The Head Monkey: "We have a lot of wheelchairs. Can she recognize her wheelchair?"

"I'd rather be peed on than die."
"I'd have to think about it."

The spouse: "Music owes a lot to trains, but it also owes a lot to chickens."

"I'm a drummer, you know. We're famous for not having rhythm."

At RWA:
"The dog ate thirty-two magnetic chessmen once."
"Did he pass them all?"
"Yes, even the king. And once he ate a box of two hundred kleenex. He wiped himself on the way out."

Friend: "I guess you got all A's."
Kidlet: "No, I got a B in math."
Friend: "I got a B in reading. Don't judge me!"

Kidlet, upon being told a paradox: "Argh! My brain is being folded around corners!"

At the bookstore, in a very loud voice: "So what? I'm colored. I just happen to be colored white."

"If you stick it up your nose, you get to keep it."

"I know, right? And he's Canadian!"

"Doesn't she sound wonderful? And you know damn well she's not."