Seen once too often

[resonant]

"You're wearing too many clothes."

One of these days I'm going to figure out a way to write a sex scene in which one character says to the other, "You're wearing precisely the right amount of clothes."*

Or even, "You're not wearing enough clothes. Here, put this on."

* amount of clothes? number of clothes? This is not one of the issues we discussed in copy editing class.

Comments

[sara]

*blinks* You know, I'm quite sure that during Actual Sex I've said both those things.

Recently, even.

It can't be that hard to work something like that in. And I'd be appreciative, frankly.

[kindkit]

I'd say "amount of clothes," because clothes is a non-count noun. You'd never say "she was wearing three clothes" the way you might say "she was wearing two shirts."

It probably says something about me that I latched onto the grammar issue.

But, yeah, I agree that "you're wearing too many clothes" is an overused phrase.

[out_there]

Or even, "You're not wearing enough clothes. Here, put this on."

Hee! I'd love to see that worked into a story. I'm not sure how, but hee.

[dira]

Sex somewhere cold is what immediately springs to mind... *g*

[laurajv]

yeah, I pretty much have about 65% of a Fraser/Ray K scene worked out at this point.

...btw I will be in my bunk.

[wrabbit]

:D

Challenge accepted.

[amberfox]

Agreed. "Amount of clothes" is much more natural, and that sounds right for why.

[nestra]

Rodney McKay comes immediately to mind.

[monanotlisa]

My thought exactly! Slightly pissy Rodney voice. *g*

[runpunkrun]

"You're not wearing enough clothes. Here, put this on."

Yes! Obviously someone is dressing their partner for sexy roleplay and said partner needs a tie, or pair of high heels.

[carolyn_claire]

MTE. Or possibly the kind of scene where, if someone were to walk in on them, at least one of the participants would feel moved to say, "This isn't what it looks like," while it would of course be exactly that.

[laurenthemself]

I'd be more like, 'You're wearing too much clothing.' 'You're not wearing enough clothing. Here, put this on.' 'Your handcuffs are stuck on your collar, let me fix that.'

[anatsuno]

this, yes. And actually, I'm more liekly to say "you're wearing too much clothing" than "you're wearing too many clothes" because 'too many' is already a little too close to a discrete count in my head. (not that it is ungrammatical, because it's clearly not)

RES'LL FIX IT

[fox]

I agree with those above: "Too many clothes" sounds more right than "too much clothes", because "clothes" sounds plural, but you can't count them, so "too much clothing" is better. And when it's just right, "amount" is far better than "number", and "amount of clothing" slices the knot nicely.

WHAT ARE YOU WRITING WITH THIS IN IT PLEASE.

[akacat]

"You're not wearing enough clothes. Here, put this on."

One or both characters has a kink for easy-access clothing.

Bend him over, flip the kilt up and-

Yeah. :D

And of course, there's the tried and true "but I want [to do you / you to do me] wearing your uniform."

[resonant]

Huh. Well, that does prove it can happen.

[resonant]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thinks about things like this!

[resonant]

For some reason this made me think of the phase the kidlet went through when, using a pre-schooler's observational linguistics, she decided that the word 'stuff' was plural. She used to say things like "too many stuff."

[resonant]

Oh, yum.

[resonant]

Whether it made sense or not, he'd be impatient! Because you should have figured this out yourself an hour ago!

[resonant]

[applauds]

[resonant]

Or it's Sherlock's coat! Which is the necessary third party in a Sherlock/John/coat threesome!

[anatsuno]

aw! "a pre-schooler's observational linguistics", yes. so well put. :D

[resonant]

'For those shoes, you need dark stockings.'

Re: RES'LL FIX IT

[resonant]

This is the sort of rant that you get when I'm reading when I should be writing.

[resonant]

Kilt.

...

And book-canon John Watson has a Scots middle name.

...

Sorry, I went away to a nice place for a minute there.

[laurenthemself]

In my head this is automatically someone saying this to a cross-dressing guy, because at the moment in my head it's genderfuckery all the way down.

[giglet]

Suggest: "amount of clothing"?
Because clothing isn't described with a number?
(Why yes, I am doing more editing than usual these days.)
[Edited to add: how about just "you're not wearing enough"? The clothes are implied.]


Also, this reminds me of Paul Gross playing Gus Knickel, in the surprisingly hot getting-dressed scene in "Buried on Sunday". By the time he puts on his clerical collar and simultaneously pwns the mainlanders, I'm turned into a puddle of adoring goo.

[tao]

Your rants are always a delightful thing! And you are so very on with this one.

[carolyn_claire]

This is John's kink. Sherlock tolerates it as long and John pays for any necessary dry cleaning. Secretly, though, he loves the way John's eyes light up when he swishes. The coat. When he swishes the coat.

[ranalore]

Or even, "You're not wearing enough clothes. Here, put this on."

Variations on this theme seem to be a huge narrative kink in the Arthur/Eames segment of Inception fandom. In fact, I'm pretty sure the idea has shown up in a few different variations in actual kinkmemes.

[fox]

[Edited to add: how about just "you're not wearing enough"? The clothes are implied.]

Or, "you're over/underdressed"?

[lobelia321]

Somehow these two scenarios are already so sweet and gorgeously sexy that I feel I hardly need the fic.

Except that I do. Desperately!

[resonant]

Ha -- in fact, I have something open in my other window right now where Eames is putting clothes on Arthur.

There's some good stuff in Inception. And then there's quite a lot of stuff where Eames and Arthur turn into Stanley Kowalski and Blanche DuBois, so.

[girlpearl]

If I never ever again read the words "You're wearing too many clothes" I swear it will be too soon. It's one of those minor writing sins that drives me right over the edge for no good reason.

[resonant]

I never managed to see "Buried On Sunday," but I remember reading and enjoying a story that crossed it over with CKR in some other role, long years ago. Though as an Episcopalian, I don't find the priestly garb as thrillingly forbidden as the author did -- after all, I went to Sunday school with our priest's youngest daughter.

[resonant]

I love the internet because it's a ranting enabler.

[resonant]

They do look like they'd unpack in an interesting way, don't they?

[resonant]

I know -- it drives me nuts! Not quite as much as "I'm fucked." "Not yet." but almost.

[krait]

My first, immediate thought was roleplay/costume play; "I want you to dress like/assume the role of Character X, and Character X wears multiple layers/a certain outfit composed of several parts".

My second thought was concealed!sex, e.g. in a park (put on a longer coat, so I can slide my hands in it without people noticing!) or business meeting (you can't go to work with me in pyjamas; put on some clothes so I can get you into the building, then strip you in my office). :D

My third thought was D/s play, e.g. "put on more clothing; I'm the only one who's going to be getting attention this time, so you can stay buttoned and zipped!"

...I suspect my brain wants moreclothes!smut badly! :D

[resonant]

My second thought was concealed!sex, e.g. in a park (put on a longer coat, so I can slide my hands in it without people noticing!)

Oh! That's -- really unexpectedly hot, that. Wow. Um.

[krait]

Hee! My brain: it is on a roll tonight! :D

Also, all bunnies are FREE to good homes... if your brain wants to take it and run, it's certainly welcome to do so! *hintnudgehint* (Post a link here afterward?)

[auctasinistra]

* amount of clothes? number of clothes? This is not one of the issues we discussed in copy editing class.

This is why the phrase "Get nekkid" was invented.

[wynddancer]

Yeah, this is really late but this reminded me of something. I think it was Susan from Babylon 5 although it could've been from one of the ST shows (DS9 probably if not B5). So, this character is from a culture where the females of their species don't wear clothes at all, ever. He encounters this human(oid) female (Susan Ivanova?) who is the first female he's ever seen wearing clothes. This turns out to be very, very kinky for him as later in the episode he tells her that it turns him in seeing her so dressed as females of his kind don't wear clothes. Later on in the ep or in a diff. ep, maybe, she shows to greet him wearing a lot more clothes and to knock himself out fantasizing about her wearing clothes, while also slinging a scarf around her neck. Turns out, she's think it's hilarious as every other male has always wanted her undressed. Yeah, not sure what show since I saw it first run on the tv back in the 90s.

[resonant]

Oh, I seem to have a vague memory of the female Ferengi in Deep Space 9 not wearing clothes. Or did I make that up? DS9 wasn't really one I followed.

[resonant]

"You! Clothes! Off!"