Steve continues to like Tony
Jan. 4th, 2012 03:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
resonantContinued from here.
Steve tries not to think about sex too much. Young men of his generation still considered sublimation to be a positive goal, and Steve has had a lot of practice.
Besides, who's he going to think about?
He used to imagine making love to Peggy, undoing the tiny buttons of her wedding gown one by one. Peggy probably would want (probably would have wanted) to get married in her uniform, but she had a linen handkerchief with handmade lace around the edges, when he knew her, and he likes (liked) to think about giving her pretty things.
He doesn't think about that now, because it would be too sad to contemplate.
If he tries to make up a girl who isn't real, though, no matter how carefully he constructs her beforehand, she always turns into Peggy as soon as things get interesting.
He could think about girls -- women -- he actually knows. Pepper, Natasha, Jane. But it seems so disrespectful. It would be different if he were in love with one of them, or even had a special liking for one of them beyond appreciating their skills and their wits and thinking that all of them are kind of pretty in an abstract way that has nothing to do with him. But he doesn't, and so using them for fantasy just seems wrong.
He knows he could meet new women and date them. He sees the way they look at him. But he didn't even know how to romance a dame in his own time, and he certainly doesn't know how to do it now. If it's OK to have sex without being married, or engaged, or even in love, then how do you know how long to wait? Are you supposed to fall into bed with a girl and *then* get to know her? It seems so complicated that there's no way he could manage not to get it horribly wrong.
It's one of the reasons he spends so much time with Tony. Keeping his mind off it.
Continued here.
Steve tries not to think about sex too much. Young men of his generation still considered sublimation to be a positive goal, and Steve has had a lot of practice.
Besides, who's he going to think about?
He used to imagine making love to Peggy, undoing the tiny buttons of her wedding gown one by one. Peggy probably would want (probably would have wanted) to get married in her uniform, but she had a linen handkerchief with handmade lace around the edges, when he knew her, and he likes (liked) to think about giving her pretty things.
He doesn't think about that now, because it would be too sad to contemplate.
If he tries to make up a girl who isn't real, though, no matter how carefully he constructs her beforehand, she always turns into Peggy as soon as things get interesting.
He could think about girls -- women -- he actually knows. Pepper, Natasha, Jane. But it seems so disrespectful. It would be different if he were in love with one of them, or even had a special liking for one of them beyond appreciating their skills and their wits and thinking that all of them are kind of pretty in an abstract way that has nothing to do with him. But he doesn't, and so using them for fantasy just seems wrong.
He knows he could meet new women and date them. He sees the way they look at him. But he didn't even know how to romance a dame in his own time, and he certainly doesn't know how to do it now. If it's OK to have sex without being married, or engaged, or even in love, then how do you know how long to wait? Are you supposed to fall into bed with a girl and *then* get to know her? It seems so complicated that there's no way he could manage not to get it horribly wrong.
It's one of the reasons he spends so much time with Tony. Keeping his mind off it.
Continued here.
(no subject)
Date: 1/4/12 09:41 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 1/4/12 10:07 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 1/4/12 10:07 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 1/4/12 11:08 pm (UTC)This is lovely!
(no subject)
Date: 1/4/12 11:38 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 1/5/12 02:18 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 1/5/12 03:40 am (UTC)Poor Steve.
He needs a few months alone with just a computer and an internet connection.
(no subject)
Date: 1/5/12 04:28 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 1/5/12 04:48 am (UTC)Well sure, that's bound to work out for him ;p
Loving this!
(no subject)
Date: 1/5/12 08:41 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 1/5/12 02:29 pm (UTC)