Imponderables

[resonant]

Why is is that the people who sit in the coffee shop and talk loudly enough for me to hear their entire conversations are always talking about either dieting, surgery, or Jesus?

Comments

[sp23.livejournal.com]

You just don't sit by the right people. *g*

[moireach.livejournal.com]

I hear Jesus was going to try going on South Beach but decided just to have that stomach surgery instead.

[reginagiraffe]

"My Lord Jesus, please keep me safe during my stomach stapling surgery. Amen."

[hlglne.livejournal.com]

and then they took the fat from down there and moved it to over there, so now I can't lift a jug of milk for two weeks or bend over without help. and they said my heart nearly stopped twice, and bla bla and you should have seen the size of the gallstone...

[fabularasa.livejournal.com]

I was in Chick-Fil-A just today (so a little lower rent than a coffee shop, but still) and the older man next to us did not stop lecturing the poor man sitting with him about dispensationalism and salvation history and the pure unbesmirched teaching of the Apostles, all in this rather sweet insistent voice. I became frantic with nervousness after a while, talking too loud so I wouldn't have to hear, dropping my fork, bustling about. I ended up spilling my cole slaw.

It made me think, though -- I mean, here was a conversation that in its essence would not have been out of place (minus a few details) in a Pakistani madrassa. Whereas, in most of the rest of the industrialized world, people can barely muster the will to be atheists. So there's not only something rather cherishable and unique in all this Chick-Fil-A fervor, it's something that connects us to the Pakistani madrassa in a way we will never be essentially connected, as a country, to the Amsterdam bistro, despite what we may think about "where we come from." I propose an international alliance of countries of Fervent But Crackbrained Faith, where Baptists and Wahhabists can sit and nod earnestly at each other while gesticulating over chicken strips and Turkish coffee.

[venivincere]

You mean they've stopped ranting on about Che Guevera?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

a) You go to the wrong coffee shops.
b) You live on the wrong continent.
c) You need to talk about slash in an even louder voice. Don't be put off by being there on your own either.

[brynwulf]

That's exactly what we do. Living in one of the most conservative towns and home to Focus on the Family, you pretty much get used to hearing about Jesus wherever you go.

I'm lucky to live near some great slash friends and we make it a habit of talking about what stories we're writing, who is doing who in what show and using the word 'penis' as much as possible.

The question of our times, finally answered:

[the-star-fish.livejournal.com]

What Would Jesus Eat?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

I can't imagine conservative FotF people in coffee shops for some reason, huh.

Re: The question of our times, finally answered:

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

Loaves and fishes?

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

After hearing a long conversation about some book on Losing Weight The Way Jesus Wants (really!) the spouse and I came up with the whole story about the Fat Woman At The Well.

You know, she says, "Sir, give me this water," and he says, "Go home first and eat your dinner," and she says, "I don't eat dinner," and he says, "You're quite right when you say you don't eat dinner, for you've had seven dinners today, and the thing you're eating now isn't dinner," and she tells all her friends, "Come and see the man who told me everything I ever ate!"

[cyprinella]

I always get the women talking about every single detail of every single childbirth they had.

[kudra2324.livejournal.com]

i frequently listen to people detail the dosages of their medications, but that may be because i'm a manhattanite.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Bwah!

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I propose an international alliance of countries of Fervent But Crackbrained Faith, where Baptists and Wahhabists can sit and nod earnestly at each other while gesticulating over chicken strips and Turkish coffee.

That would be lovely. We could all go visit, the way people around here go visit Amish country. Buy quilts, eat old-fashioned dinners.

And then leave!

(We'd have to make sure they weren't armed, though.)

And OMG, chick-fil-a. I haven't had one of those in years. And no use making me want one now, damn it.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

My coffee shop is a popular place for people to have Bible study, for some reason. In fact, if a mixed-race group of people comes in, you can be guaranteed it's a Bible study.

Another category of people who come there a lot are salespeople. There are several groups of them that have weekly meetings there -- one set sells pharmaceuticals to doctors, another sells vitamins and "herbal cures" directly to customers. I suppose salespeoples don't have offices, so they have to have meetings someplace.

I also eavesdropped on a group of people arranging a private adoption once, which was interesting. Two prospective adoptive parents, a heavily pregnant young woman, and a lawyer.

[ix-tab.livejournal.com]

I get longm, convoluted family sagas, or break up conversations. Always! Or even worse, young guys and their latest sexual conquest, told in the grossest details possible.