Magpie-like curiosity. A poll.

[resonant]

[edited to add] When the poll says "I," it means "you, the person responding to the poll."

[Poll #635147]

Comments

clarification

[jenna-thorn.livejournal.com]

on the answer for the first...

Either their lj, mine, or the community for which the fic was written / art was created.

Essentially, a public gift would trigger a public acceptance.

(That goes both ways, mind you. I am careful to comment on received gift fics or art, in part because I have participated in fandom group exchanges and never known if the recipient noticed my contribution. I want to be sure that I am not guilty of ignoring someone's gift to me.)

[mamadeb.livejournal.com]

If I write someone a story, I'd like a comment on the story, just to know they've read it. If they feel like making a public post to thank me, well, I wouldn't complain, but that doesn't matter to me.

[kennahijja.livejournal.com]

My, there are quite a few Sarah's about (I wish I was one...).

Just a note to clarify - I don't *not care* technically, because it makes me smile if I get thanked publicly (well, mostly for gift fics), but I don't expect it, and won't mope if it does not happen. Some people are just more private than others, and I respect that :).

[saba1789.livejournal.com]

I like public acknowledgment as much as the next person but it's not required - a thank you is more than enough :-) .

Also: does it count that my first name starts with S and A too? *g*

[zulu]

Yeah, private thanks is important, or at least polite; public thanks is nice, because it serves as a rec, but not necessary.

[wychwood]

I said "don't care" to both - I'd probably expect some kind of private thank you, if it were something I'd put effort into, and public acknowledgement is pure jam. In some ways, I prefer anonymous gifts wherever possible on LJ, because that way you get (hopefully) a more honest response. At the very least, you don't have to worry about people gushing because it's *you*, rather than because of what they think of the gift. And it doesn't burden the recipient with gratitude, particularly in the instance of someone being inspired by someone else's work, say making a "cover" for a fic, where the gift is itself a thank-you.

[florahart]

I said No to both gift questions, but that's because don't care sounds indifferent, and I'm not. Of course I *like* acknowledgement, but I don't think anyone should feel all pressured to effectively rec a fic I wrote them, and I think a private thank you is completely acceptable either way.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/]

I usually thank in the manner it was delivered. If they posted in their LJ, I'll comment there and post in mine, most likely. If it's given to me in the comments in my LJ, I'll most likely just thank them in those comments... and so on.

If I'm giving a gift, just some acknowledgement that it was received and appreciated is all I need. Public, private, just want to be sure they've seen it.

[starwatcher]

.
To clarify - under number 1, it doesn't have to be 'thanks' - but I like to see a fannish gift at least acknowledged.

Under number 2, private acknowledgement for a private gift.

And, just to add to your data - I don't even know any Sara(h)s. (Well, except for the Sara Lee in my fridge. *g*)
.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

The second question was easier, but I left the first blank. It completely depends on the gift and the person. I had something deeper to say, but it is a case-by-case scenario. Seeing a happy thanks posted can be lovely, but skimming around LJ you notice that the public thanking is political, too, either to show what one received or to show whom it was received by or to formally do ones duty. OTOH, acknowledging a fic received in a challenge etc. is a basic requirement and not saying anything to the writer or artist is extremely rude. Why are you asking? *curious*

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

See, I'd like private thanks, but to me, public thanks is an invitation to hurt feelings. What about all those other people that I didn't make gifts for? Won't they feel excluded? If someone makes gifts for their circle of online close friends, what about their online friends who thought they were in the circle, only to be left out? I would just worry too much about slighting someone.

[celandineb.livejournal.com]

I answered "don't care" to both, because I don't care if it's specifically on LJ, or public at all for that matter. But I do expect some kind of thanks or acknowledgment, either in private or in public, whichever seems more appropriate to the recipient.

[dementordelta.livejournal.com]

Didn't take the poll, but have enjoyed sending out gifts, fannish and otherwise, for the Holiday Wish List thingie, and public acknowledgement is *not* necessary. In fact, there have been times when I've taken pains so that the recipient didn't know who I was, and couldn't acknowledge! But if they do know it's me, a private thanks is just fine.

[damned-colonial.livejournal.com]

In both cases, they'd better damn well thank me *somewhere*, be it LJ or email or just a quick "eee! pressie!" on IM.

Err, I'm assuming that the non-LJ gifts are things sent by snailmail. I expect *some* kind of acknowledgement for any snailmail bigger than a card.

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

I agree with this!

[thefourthvine.livejournal.com]

I would rather not be thanked or acknowledged, and if I'm going to get thanked, I would prefer it to be private. I mean, it's up to the recipients, obviously, but if my own wishes are being consulted, I don't want thanks at all. (Although if it went through the mail, it is kind of nice to know the gift got to its destination; the postal service is not the world's most reliable entity.)

This is why I love the LJ anonymous gift thing and use it so often; recipients can't thank me, because they don't know who I am. Actual physical gifts can't be given like that (although, seriously, would it kill Amazon to let people give wish list gifts anonymously?), but they're more fun to give, so it balances out.

Of course, I know most people don't agree with me on this, so I thank people who give me things. And it's not like it bothers me to be thanked. It's just - the gift is for the recipient, absolutely no strings attached; no one ever needs to keep or like the gifts I give, let alone thank me. My pleasure and reward come from the act of giving. So I'm already happy, and I don't need thanks.

[skuf.livejournal.com]

Thanks are good, but whether in private or public is the same to me, hence "Don't care".

Though I do think there may be a fandom etiquette saying you ought to give public thanks for fannish gifts?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_swallow/]

I want, but don't expect, to get thanked for a LJ gift in their LJ-- not because I want *public* thanks, but because the medium of the gift was LJ, so it makes sense to me that the medium of the reply be LJ.

But the more important reason for that feeling of mine is that I almost always give anonymously, so without a public thanks I'm not thanked.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

The wishlist inspired it, of course. I realized that I myself have a definite opinion on the matter -- which can be summed up as "If I don't get to share the gift, don't clutter up my friends list with the thanks!" -- but obviously others don't share that opinion, so I wanted to get a sense of the general fannish feeling on the subject.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

Right! Since I haven't seen you on MS recently, I'd like to say here that I hope I have not affronted you with asking these questions (here and at your wishlist post), I am just interested in my friends. And yes, that's one of those cases where I think the public acknowledgement - additional to the private one you surely executed - is often LJ politics. At least your poll outcome is quite clear about the distinction between fandom gifts (that can be seen online, hence are shared) and others.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean. I don't feel slighted when other people have closer friendships that don't include me (though sometimes I'm jealous of those who are in geographic areas where they can actually meet in person), but my flist is big enough that I'd prefer this kind of personal stuff to be confined to e-mail or a "real-life friends" filter or something.

And don't even get me started on people who use unfiltered posts to plan get-togethers. I'm very happy for the five of you in Biloxi who are going to see Brokeback Mountain together, but, you know, as I'm nowhere near Biloxi, I don't need to see the posts where you work out the theater and the showtime!

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I've been surprised at people who prefer not to get a thank-you! I like to get one; I just don't necessarily think that everybody on the internet needs to see it.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Whose eyelashes are those?

No, you haven't offended me.

I really don't see politics in it; in LJ as in real life, some people are acquaintances and some are friends and some are neighbors and some are the next thing to family. If there were someone on my flist who really seemed to do everything just to curry favor with people who were higher on the monkey hierarchy, I'd probably find her so dull that I'd end up unfriending her.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

Joe's :)

*nods* But you weren't going to acknowledge certain gifts "naturally", and asked what the ... policy? (politics not ideal word) in LJ seemed to be for most other people. Although I didn't even think of you with that term, rather a number of people, mostly forgotten already, who were higher monkeys themselves and showed off with their gifts (people currying favour with higher monkeys OTOH tend to do that by thanking for "fic help" that never was, which I only recently discovered! Oh, intriguing LJ ;)).

[schuyler.livejournal.com]

What is it about fandom that attracts Sara(h)s and Katies? Just my local fannish circle has no less than three of each.

[fer-de-lance.livejournal.com]

Hee, I have been thinking the same thing. If you're going to squee about how awesome and smutty and in-character and beautiful a story was... that makes me want to read it!

Still and all, I think public-gift-public-thanks and private-gift-private-thanks is a good general rule.

Also, my middle name is not Sara (or Sarah), although I didn't answer the quiz. I did once have a year where my class had FOUR first-name Sara(h)s, though. Talk about confusing. :D