Aliens made them

I'm very fond of "Aliens made them do it" stories. Considered as smut, they've got a lot going for them -- easy method of getting reluctant characters who think they're straight to go to bed together, nice insta-angst afterwards.

Sometimes, though, I can't stop myself from considering them not as smut but as stories.

And then I start thinking: Aliens only ever want slash characters to do four things: Be (or pose as) master and slave; ingest intoxicants; fight; or fuck.

Why not something really useful? Carry water, chop wood, build stuff?

Or something genuinely entertaining? Dance? Sing?

Or, for unfathomable alien reasons, crochet?