Missed Romance Opportunities: threesomes and more

These days I'm reading a lot of Witcher, which has tons of delightful nonmonogamy, and Cobra Kai, which has a wife cool enough that sometimes writers keep her around instead of AUing her into a beloved ex-wife. So I have pairing-plus romance scenarios on the brain.

- We got together very young, and I was your first everything, and sometimes I worry that you'll feel that you missed out. You're willing to indulge me by sleeping with other people.

- Variation: You're hypothetically willing to indulge me, but there's nobody in particular that you're interested in. But you're aware that there's someone I'm extremely interested in, even though I'm trying to hide my crush. And that's the person you propose.

- You and I had a casual FWB relationship, but you and he are a love match. When you invited me back to fulfill a fantasy, of course I said yes: I know some secret tricks that work really well on you, and I thought it would be fun to teach him how to do them.

- Or, same as above, but I said yes because I have to make sure he's worthy of you.

- You take care of me. Oh, boy, do you ever take care of me. I'd like to watch somebody take care of you.

- You made the suggestion to me, but you're obviously way out of my league; I don't understand how this is not obvious to you. I have an occasional fun partner who's much more on your level. Maybe I can get the two of you together and then just fade back and leave you to it.

- Been a while since we brought in another partner. You sure you wouldn't like to ease back in with somebody a little less complicated?

- We invited you into our bed, and it was good. And then the next time we saw you, you had slid into the role of Our Rough Trade, Our Bit On the Side, Our Midlife Crisis. You were diminished. It's unbearable.

I was there, Gandalf, in the Reagan Administration

Additional notes to young writers who saw Cobra Kai and got sucked into Karate Kid and are now trying to set stories in the foreign country that is 1985:

- The shorts were that short. It was normal. Men were allowed to have thighs in the '80s.

- The hair was that clean and shiny. It was normal. On TV even scary criminal types all looked like their hairdryers were still warm.

- "Thirsty" and "the D" didn't have any slang meaning then, and they wouldn't have made anybody laugh.

- Wikipedia says the phrase "safe sex" was being used as early as '84, but it wasn't really mainstream; condoms were generally thought of as birth control. Most of them were unlubricated and really, really dry. They'd suck all the moisture out of your Parts. I was 21 in 1985 and was unaware of the whole concept of lube, though I was familiar with spermicidal gel.

- No internet meant that it was difficult and embarrassing to get hold of porn, so a lot of people had just never seen any. No internet also meant teens went around believing some things about sex that were really spectacularly wrong.

- Spandex wasn't common except in leotards. Jeans had no stretch, zero. So they were loose enough in the leg that when you unfastened them, they pretty much just fell to the ground.

- Earphones were little sponge-covered things the size of Oreos strung on a length-adjustable arc of metal. They neither went into the ear nor fully covered the ear. They really didn't block outside sound at all unless you had the music turned up as high as it would go.

- You can go right on imagining these guys in boxer-briefs if you like, but I promise you they were wearing white Jockeys.

Edited to add a link to feklar42's addition on the subject of consent and date rape, which is an area where attitudes were very different in 1985.