I was there, Gandalf, in the Reagan Administration

[resonant]

Additional notes to young writers who saw Cobra Kai and got sucked into Karate Kid and are now trying to set stories in the foreign country that is 1985:

- The shorts were that short. It was normal. Men were allowed to have thighs in the '80s.

- The hair was that clean and shiny. It was normal. On TV even scary criminal types all looked like their hairdryers were still warm.

- "Thirsty" and "the D" didn't have any slang meaning then, and they wouldn't have made anybody laugh.

- Wikipedia says the phrase "safe sex" was being used as early as '84, but it wasn't really mainstream; condoms were generally thought of as birth control. Most of them were unlubricated and really, really dry. They'd suck all the moisture out of your Parts. I was 21 in 1985 and was unaware of the whole concept of lube, though I was familiar with spermicidal gel.

- No internet meant that it was difficult and embarrassing to get hold of porn, so a lot of people had just never seen any. No internet also meant teens went around believing some things about sex that were really spectacularly wrong.

- Spandex wasn't common except in leotards. Jeans had no stretch, zero. So they were loose enough in the leg that when you unfastened them, they pretty much just fell to the ground.

- Earphones were little sponge-covered things the size of Oreos strung on a length-adjustable arc of metal. They neither went into the ear nor fully covered the ear. They really didn't block outside sound at all unless you had the music turned up as high as it would go.

- You can go right on imagining these guys in boxer-briefs if you like, but I promise you they were wearing white Jockeys.

Edited to add a link to feklar42's addition on the subject of consent and date rape, which is an area where attitudes were very different in 1985.

Comments

[goss]

Earphones were little sponge-covered things the size of Oreos strung on a length-adjustable arc of metal. They neither went into the ear nor fully covered the ear.

Oh! Haha. I have actually been trying to source one of these, which I remember using in high school. Despite the not-so-great quality sound, I really liked how they never hurt my ears and didn't get in the way of my glasses. I didn't realise it's now a fossil of technology - no wonder I can't find them to buy. *facepalm*

[resonant]

The spongy stuff degraded really fast, so it would probably be hard to find old ones in usable condition.

It just occurred to me how odd it is that an earphone jack is still the same shape that it was in the '80s. I'm surprised the market hasn't "fixed" that for us.

[desireearmfeldt]

I feel like there the giant over-ear headphones also existed in the mid-80s, but you certainly didn't wear them with your walkman or anything like that?

[sholio]

They still exist! I know because they're the only kind I can use - earbuds don't stay in, and the over-the-ear noise-cancelling ones hurt my ears (and also, I like to be able to hear what's going on around me). The best trick I know of for finding them is by looking for headphones meant for kids - "children's foam headphones" (and the like) will often turn them up on various online sites. Sony used to make a pretty durable one up until they appear to have discontinued it a couple of years ago, but you can still find refurbished and remainder ones by looking up "sony children's headphones" and similar. You can also get replacement foam covers for when the foam inevitably wears out; I have some packages of that too! I am riding this rowboat until it sinks, damn it.

[libitina]

I still use them!!! Because I can wear them while I'm working and still hear people who need my attention.

I usually buy them from a library supply company

But I've also bought them from Amazon

You can also get replacement foam

[lemonsharks]

these guys? Apparently they're called "clip on earphones" now.

(I found a bluetooth version of the behind-the-neck headphones that came with my discman in 2003 which were the most comfortable audio listening device I have ever used )

Hee hee!

[desireearmfeldt]

I was 21 in 1985 and was unaware of the whole concept of lube, though I was familiar with spermicidal gel.

I bet mileage varies here for gay men, though. :) (I was 11 and probably did not know about it.)

Jeans had no stretch, zero. So they were loose enough in the leg that when you unfastened them, they pretty much just fell to the ground.

On skinny teenage boys, sure. As someone with a small waist and big butt, I have never had this problem in jeans, spandex or no spandex. :) On the other hand, I remember pleated fronts on pants (if not heavy jeans) as an option for women a couple of years later.

(Additionally: I forget when super-tapered legs on jeans came in, if it wasn't 1985 it wasn't much later.)

You can go right on imagining these guys in boxer-briefs if you like, but I promise you they were wearing white Jockeys.

I had never heard of these until I started reading fanfic and got someone to explain. :)

Re: Hee hee!

[resonant]

Ha, I had the opposite problem with jeans; I never had much in the way of hips, and I was constantly pulling my pants up.

I do remember the narrow ankles on jeans, sometimes with a little zipper to create an opening big enough to get your foot through -- but I only recall those on girls' jeans. I worked in a Levi's store, and the only styles we sold for men were straight-leg and boot-cut.

I'm sure there were many, many people who knew a lot more about lube than I did in 1985! Don't know if our heroes were among them, though, since they're still in high school at that point and mostly still think they're straight until fanfic writers explain things to them.

Re: Hee hee!

[oracne]

I had jeans with pleated fronts. High-waisted.

[minoanmiss]

aughghghghghgh *has movie style flash backs*

[resonant]

Recently I watched the video for Lionel Richie's "All Night Long," which is a perfect time capsule of '80s fashion. It gave me a pang of nostalgia to see all these people athletically dancing outdoors on a summer night while having matte skin and blow-dried hair and not a drop of sweat in sight. People in contemporary film always look kind of grubby to me.

[grammarwoman]

Fantastic list! "Men were allowed to have thighs in the '80s." :D :D :D

I would add a detail about the popularity of porn's lesser cousin, the sex comedy, especially the "teen" sex comedy, and how that led to a lot of bad information and worse manners being propagated.

I'm kinda surprised that "Guardians of the Galaxy" hasn't inspired a wave of retro electronics like headphones and Walkmen-shaped music players.

[resonant]

The particular muted plasticky CHUNK sound/sensation in a Walkman when the tape ended -- you'd hear the sound and feel it in your hand or against your hip where you'd clipped the Walkman to your waistband -- is gone from the universe and will never return. [sobs]

[cimorene]

Retro electronics HAVE had a bit of a renaissance, but I think they are at a slightly higher pricepoint than the most affordable... and I don't think it extends to headphones. It's more boomboxes and bluetooth speakers, both of which I've definitely encountered on online stores and Pinterest boards!

[azurelunatic]

I have seen cassette tape styled phone cases.

[akacat]

One addendum I’d like to offer on porn: somebody in the neighborhood will have found their father’s or older brother’s stash, and it will be shared in a gathering behind the garage where it was found.

[castiron]

This. My best friend knew exactly where her dad hid his stack of Playboy and Penthouse issues.

[destina]

A++++ from a fellow Old.

[resonant]

I was complaining about this to the kidlet, and they said, "You almost need something like britpicking but for time."

[china_shop]

I may be wrong because I was both a geek and pretty young, but I feel like body hair was still a normal thing back then, too.

[sara]

No, no, it was normal. Many of us even considered it attractive.

[lunabee34]

I love the fics set in the late 20th century where everyone has cell phones. LOL

[cimorene]

As a 90s teenager and one-time consumer of 80s teen YA novels about things like summer camp and rock bands and mean cheerleaders, I can say that these fics should all include about 500% more struggles with spiral phone cords.

[oracne]

Jean M. Auel was popular for sex scenes, God help us. (I graduated high school in the mid-eighties.)

[waxjism]

Oh yeah, those were very reliable for your smut needs. I remember reading the sexy bits from The Valley of the Horses out loud to my friends when we were 12 or so, in 1988 or thereabouts. Absolute scenes.

[synecdochic]

Don't forget "everyone smoked, everywhere, and I mean everywhere " and the importance of the local arcade and the local mall in teenage social habits!

[desireearmfeldt]

That's also somewhat regional, I think. I know restaurants had smoking and non-smoking sections when I was a kid, and towns in my area started prohibiting smoking in public spaces during that time.

For example, I don't think I've ever been in a movie theatre or mall where people were smoking. Or an airplane, though by the time I first traveled in an airplane (late 80s) they sure still had no smoking signs and announcements about not smoking.

Or maybe I'm misremembering.

(My parents and their closest friends, who have never smoked in my lifetime, were all smokers before I was born.)

Concepts of Consent and Date Rape

[feklar42]

On a more serious note, when I was in high school the concepts of Consent and Date Rape did not exist. I knew 2 girls who had been what I now would describe as date raped, but it wasn't rape, it was just what guys did if you were "stupid enough" to get into the situation that lead to it--go into an enclosed or dark space, make out, have a drink, be weaker... :(
I think the concept of date rape started to be more common in my college years, but was still kind of discussed in whispers.

Re: Concepts of Consent and Date Rape

[resonant]

Oh, a good addition, and one that would be relevant to a lot of writers.

[qian]

Jeans had no stretch, zero. So they were loose enough in the leg that when you unfastened them, they pretty much just fell to the ground.

I'm not that young (born in 86), but this really gave me a moment of "wow, it was the Past" which none of the other details did!

[resonant]

Yeah, it was skinny jeans in sex scenes (and the verb "peel") that made me realize that we were undressing a whole new generation of guys now.

[realpestilence]

Yes to the shorts! I hate board shorts, they might as well be wearing old-fashioned knickerbockers. No shame to men having legs & showing them...legs aren't a female thing, ffs. Men take their shirts off & show their nips at the drop of a hat, but thighs? Oh, no.