I wish I'd known ...

[resonant]

Thirteen is a terrific age -- smart, self-sufficient, involved enough with peers to have personal goals but not involved enough to find parental advice completely unwelcome.

But I look at the kidlet and I think, "Holy shit! You're going to be in high school in less than a year and a half!"

Yesterday I made an offhand reference to teaching them how to save money at the grocery store, and to my surprise, they were very interested in this. So I'm thinking I've got a window where they're old enough to learn anything I might want to teach them, but not so old that they don't want to hear it.

With that in mind, I throw out to my imaginary friends:

What do you wish someone had taught you before you left your parents' home?

Personally, I wish someone had taught me:

1. That my vocabulary and pattern-recognition abilities would not always be able to take the place of actual study skills. (It would have been tough going to persuade me of this.)
   
2. How to make and keep a budget.
   
3. How to plan and cook meals. (My mother taught me all sorts of recreational cooking, but never involved me in the more routine aspects. When I went to college, I could bake bread, but had to learn to cook rice out of a book.)
   
4. How to be assertive.
   
5. Some real information about getting the most out of college -- which my parents weren't in any position to teach me, since at that point my mother hadn't been to college and my dad only needed the piece of paper so he could get promoted at a government job.
   

edited 2019 to retroactively correct the kidlet's gender pronouns

Comments

[jelazakazone]

I graduated from college almost 20 years ago and I still wonder how I could have gotten more out of college. I think that taking a year or two off before I went would have done wonders.

I never really learned to save money. I could live within my means, but I wasn't ever good at saving money.

How to be assertive is damned tough and even harder for women, but a really good skill, if you can manage it.

On the other hand, my dad did teach me how to give a good job interview (look the person in the eye, dress nicely, and give a good handshake).

I feel like I mostly got the skills I needed. I don't think that floundering after college was a bad thing.

[resonant]

I think that taking a year or two off before I went would have done wonders.

Sometimes I think about that, too -- separating "omg, I get to stay up as late as I want!" from the actual education part of an education. On the other hand, if I had tried to take time off, I probably would have wasted it. As the blues songs say, not getting anything but older.

[reginagiraffe]

This is more "things I'm glad my parents taught me because I saw kids in college doing them and marveled":

How to do laundry. Separating white/light/dark and how not to use too much detergent.

Cooking: how to bake a potato in the oven (i.e it might only take 5 minutes in the microwave but it takes a *lot* longer than that in the oven. *plays taps for poor mangled potato*)

How to balance a checkbook every month. And how having checks (or having a credit card) =/= having money.

How to deal with electricity (e.g. how to fix a lamp and how to fix something that requires you turn the circuit breaker off) and plumbing (i.e how to change a toilet, and knowing where the water cut-off valves are and why they're important).

Measure twice, cut once.

How to make a grocery list by looking at the ads and how to stock up on things when they're on sale (I had to teach MrGiraffe that last one).

How to plan paying bills when you get paid biweekly and bills come monthly.

(I'm sure I'll think of more as soon as I post this.)

[lalaith_niniel]

Water shutoffs are critical! It's one of those things you don't think you'll need until you're ankle deep in water.

[pauraque]

How to make a budget and how to clean things. I learned both of those in the workplace, and only slowly figured out how to apply them to my personal life.

[resonant]

I still don't do that well with budgeting, though I have figured out how to hide money from myself, which helps.

[0jack]

Here's a handful of things I only figured out once I was in the soup, so to speak...

1. That speaking to teachers and engaging with them is the number one way to boost your mark—becoming an individual in their eyes and learning what they value is key to getting the help you need and doing what will get you the best grades.
1. a. Show up to office hours early in the year, even if you have to pretend not to know something in order to go. Asking for extra reading material or how to get bonus marks is another good excuse.
1. b. Always ask for help early, it is the teacher's job to teach you or to help you get the teaching you need.
1. c. Teachers and professors are people. They aren't better than you or anyone else, they simply know more about this one thing and, in theory, know how to communicate it. Approaching them as respected and senior peers, as your default (until you know how they prefer to be treated), is ideal. Most of them want to be on your side, it works out best for them as well.
1. d. Sit near the front of the class. It's best for you unless you have a disability that would make it difficult.

2. Always ask for what you want and need if it's not forthcoming, whether it's a scholarship or a raise or an extension on a paper. The more you do this, the better you will get at it and you will learn how and when to ask to get the best answers. There are "secret doors" all through life and those who know where they are do not know that you can't see them. If you ask, they will point out the door and you may have a new path open to you or a shortcut that saves you time and effort.

3. Treat support and maintenance staff with the same respect and kindness that you show to professors and employers. Say "hello" and "thank you", find out their names if you see them frequently, stop and chat. For one thing, you might end up as one of them, at least for a while. For another, they know a great deal that other people don't or won't tell you. Also, you will be one out of a hundred or more people to do this in a day. It's worth it. Before you know it, you will have a friend everywhere you go.

4. Review your day every evening, whether you're at work or at school. Crudely, this is part of "unfucking tomorrow", as the UFYH blog would say it. Taking 15 minutes or more to go over all the paperwork you accumulated today, the things you finished and left undone, and so on, will set you up to have direction tomorrow. Less crudely, it's the equivalent of shovelling the walk when there's only a few inches of snow. You'll have to deal with it sometime, so deal with it before it builds up and your path will stay clear.
4. a. Lists are your friend. It doesn't have to be fancy. A few index cards ($1 for 100) plus a pen and a binder clip (a few cents each or free from a friendly secretary) will do the trick.

5. Bring your lunch and water (or a filter bottle), carry a thermos (or a mug and tea bags), etc. Find a brand of meal bar/energy bar that you like and keep a couple in your bag. It will save you thousands of dollars before you are 25, literally. Anything you might want in the day while you're away from home, think of how you can provide it for yourself. Being self-sufficient isn't just a savings, it's environmentally friendly, and you'll enjoy the occasional latte and pastry all the more because it's not something you have all the time.

[resonant]

These are brilliant. Will you go back in time and be my Resident Assistant? The one I had was kind of worthless.

[sef1029]

Big thumbs up for #3 and #4. If she's an introvert, I'd add how to make light conversation in a social setting. Wish I'd mastered that one!

[resonant]

Me too. She seems to do pretty well, though -- she's introverted but not shy/anxious, which makes all the difference.

[aidenfire]

I'm thinking of things I had to call my parents to ask when I was in college...Basic household skills -- laundry, cleaning, cooking, small repairs. What to do if you blow a fuse. How to cut peppers. How to know what spices go in a dish. How to find a dentist/doctor that accepted my insurance and schedule an appointment. I also currently work with teenagers and we received a list of 50 things you can do to help someone transition to independent living. It's a pdf, but if you're interested, I could send it to you!

[giglet]

I would be interested! My son is 17 and may be leaving home next fall...

[ellen_fremedon]

I had a list of small home and clothing repair and maintenance items, but they basically all boil down to triage-- how to assess when you can take care of something yourself, when it's a job for a professional, and when it can't be done at all and you need to start over.

That can be a tough skill to acquire, because it requires knowing what professionals can do, as well as knowing one's own skill level. But it can save a lot of money in the long run to know when $30 worth of alterations or cobbling will save a hundred in new clothes or shoes, and when it's just throwing good money after bad.

[resonant]

I've recently acquired a handyman, and am now embarrassed at how often in the past I've called a plumber or an electrician (and paid plumbers' or electricians' wages) for work that a handyman can do!

[marina]

Oddly enough I was always better at saving money than my parents, but cooking and laundry is a big one.

Mostly I wish they'd taught me how to make those tasks fun. How to incorporate it into your life in a way that's not despair-inducing, and that practicing these skills means you'll do them quicker and better over time. Washing a floor. The military taught me how to wash toilets, do dishes, dust and mop and scrub, and that was a bit sad because the military is rubbish at those things. To this day I'm still mocked (lovingly) by my friends because my default ways of carrying out household tasks are the ways we were all taught in the military.

Another thing I wish they'd taught me was how to cope with being an entirely new environment surrounded by new people when you're an introvert. I mean again, they didn't have the experience to realistically teach me this, but I wish someone had. And I think this applies to college in the US as much as it applies to the military in Israel? The idea that you shouldn't stress yourself out about being social, but strive to be comfortable in your surroundings and branch out and try to meet new people when you're up for it. And that if you don't like the people you're with you can always try to make new friends, join a club, go to a meeting, branch out and change your circle of friends (which is much, much harder to do in highschool).

[giglet]

I wish they'd taught me was how to cope with being an entirely new environment surrounded by new people when you're an introvert.

I don't think I know how to do that even now! Thanks for the explanation.

[grey853]

Everybody seems to have written really good comments about practical skills.

I'm assuming you've already had the sex talk about protecting herself. I wish someone has spent more time telling me about that as well as how to deal with relationships.

[aidenfire]

Oooh yes -- how to have not just physically safe sex but emotionally safe sex as well.

[riverlight]

Oh, gosh, these are all GREAT suggestions. I imagine it'd be tough to teach her all of this while she's 13, but still: such great ideas. I can't agree enough with the "ask for what you need" comment, by the way. I've had multiple times when I've asked the authorities (college administration, grad school admissions) for financial help, and gotten it. Part of that is probably privilege, but part of it is that I asked.

I'd add also:
a) how to comparison shop, especially for things like mechanics for your car—calling five mechanics and getting quotes for the same service, etc.
b) that people really like to talk about themselves and are usually flattered to be asked questions!
c) the importance of paying attention to what other people do in social situations she's not sure about—simple stuff like taking her shoes off when she's a guest and her host does, or figuring out how to behave as a guest at someone else's religious ceremony, etc.... I guess this counts as "figuring out how to deal with cultural differences"!

[merrily]

I think household fixes were the one area I had to do a lot of catch-up in, and could have used some instruction. At the same time, I was heads and shoulders ahead of my peer group by virtue of my certainty that I could look things up, if I didn't know how to do something.

Still, I think fixing stuff is a good skill to pass on. Small plumbing things (how to fix a broken toilet handle, how to replace a shower head), small mending things, general house and stuff upkeep. I once had a roommate who would throw out clothes because she didn't know how to sew on a button. That's bad parenting, methinks.

[sapote]

I was always grateful to my mother for teaching me how to buy clothes in a thrift shop effectively - it was not a very well-used skill in my teen years, when all I wanted were large grey t-shirts that no one else had ever worn before, but once I graduated into the button-down shirts and business pants phase of life I was very happy about it. I wish she'd taught me how to compare my measurements to a sizing chart without taking it as a judgment, though, because it turns out that that saves a lot of wandering around feeling like a mutant. I have also complained in adulthood about the unchecked reign of Color Me Beautiful in my household as a child, but I have to admit as someone who would rather spend as little time as possible thinking about what I'm going to wear to work has been helpful. (For the record my brother has also reported being very pleased to know these things).

A major lesson that I missed that I made up later was "if you are bad at something you can get better at it." I had similar problems with "but I have a big vocabulary! so I can sound like I know things! Work is never necessary!" and it gave me very very little experience with mastering applied skills until after college.

My mother totally taught me how to do things like cook beans from scratch and that frozen vegetables are just as nutritious as fresh, two things I have relied on since.

[resonant]

So do you have any tips about thrift-shop shopping? I love buying clothes at rummage sales but haven't really branched out into thrift shops.

[giglet]

I have a lot of thoughts about this, since I'm a couple parenting years ahead of you. It boils down to three or four things:

People skills. How to be a friend. How (and why) to initiate a romantic relationship. How to have safer sex. How to fight fair. How (and why) to end a friendship or relationship. How to talk one-on-one at an appropriate level to anyone. How to talk to a group is a more advanced skill (but useful!), and how to initiate contact with a stranger via phone or email is another one.

Thing skills. How to fix it, buy it, sell it, or make it: food, clothes, books, bikes, computers, plus house stuff like doors, windows, wiring, plumbing... I guess budgeting and organization fall in here, too.

Crisis skills. Signs of danger in different situations, when to retreat if possible, when to call for help, first aid, how to comfort a child, an ill or injured person, how to be compassionate without being a sucker. Where the exits are. Where the cutoffs are for electricity/furnace/water/gas. Where we'll meet in case of a house fire/local disaster.

Spirituality skills. Signposts for being your best self, taking care of your soul, developing a relationship with God, finding a balance between accepting your imperfect self and striving to be better. The big "meaning of life" stuff, that kids mostly learn by example, but it never hurts to have it articulated.

Huh. Somehow "study skills" never made my list.

Edited to add: Working for a living doesn't have to suck. You can quit a job. You can fight to keep a job. Sometimes sticking with a job you don't like is the best option available at the time. Sometimes you'll get laid off for a reason that has nothing to do with you. Sometimes you'll get exactly what you deserve -- and that's not always a happy outcome.

[resonant]

That's an excellent breakdown. I especially like the spirituality section -- we joined one kind of disastrous religious community -- we both had some reservations about it but didn't give them any credence because we couldn't pin them down to anything specific, and so we missed a chance to avoid a lot of unnecessary conflict.

[schemingreader]

Let her know now, while she's still paying attention, that you don't judge people harshly for their mistakes. That way, if she has trouble in the scary years ahead when she's seeking independence, she will know she can turn to you for help and not expect blame.

I think you might be that kind of mom anyway. I have a very good impression of you.

My parents have a lot of wonderful skills, but I've avoided turning to them as a resource for many of them because of the shaming/blaming thing. For example, about money. I remember my mom browbeating me into asking my dad for help balancing my checkbook, and having my dad question why I'd written a check to someone whose name he didn't know. "That's my roommate, you've ment him; I gave him money for the electric bill. I am going to do this myself now with my terrible arithmetic, thank you." He acted like he thought I was writing checks to random strangers who asked me for money on the street!

Hello, I am a random stranger, please give me a check for $47.35.

I realized on a recent visit with my parents that they constantly try to figure out who is at fault for even the smallest problem, like making a wrong turn while driving. It just ratchets up the stress and anxiety in every day life so much.

[resonant]

Oh, wow, does that ever sound familiar. And I read it to the spouse and he gave me a very sad look; it's even more his experience than mine.

I've always tried to be very laid-back about mistakes -- at least I hope that's the message I've been sending. After all, if someone has spilled milk on the carpet, yelling doesn't make it smell any better than just laughing and saying, "Hey, you know where the rags are -- go get a couple."

[cjk1701]

I wish I'd learned that I don't have to do everything on my own: there's all sorts of offices and agencies at university and elsewhere specifically designed to help people with all sorts of problems. My problems are only unique to me, the advisers have all seen it a hundred times before. I wish somebody'd told me to not be afraid to ask for help. Most people will be willing to at least provide advice.

Oh, and what kind of cleaning products to buy for what and how to clean the bathroom properly. I'd been doing laundry since I was tall enough to look into a washing machine but somehow mum was always the one to buy the stuff to clean the bathroom with. What are those magic potions and where do I get them?!

[resonant]

Yes to the first one! In a way I learned that in journalism school -- how to make the first phone call to what you think might be approximately the right place and just keep asking, "Well, then, who could help me?" until you find what you're looking for -- but it didn't really occur to me to use that to help myself!

[meredyth]

1) How to save money, budget, and to start small in real estate and investment, but definitely to start early;
2) How to travel (I never left my country of birth until I was in my 40s - and travelling well is a skill);
3) How to be your own person - independent and individual (rather than going from being part of a 'family' to part of a 'relationship'). I think everyone should have at least some time out in the world as their own person without being part of another entity.

[resonant]

How to be your own person - independent and individual (rather than going from being part of a 'family' to part of a 'relationship').

Thanks for this one in particular, because I think it's very smart -- just in a couple of seconds of thought, I can think of two people I know who got into unwise marriages more or less because they panicked at being alone.

[gnomad]

Life skills I'm thankful I was taught either directly or via the Don't Become Like Your Mother method

1. How to physically navigate myself through the world in places I'm familiar with and places I'm not (map reading, knowing how to use public transport, knowing how to hail a cab, knowing which of my friends I can call at 3am to pick me up off the side of a dirt road, where in a city you might logically expect X public service to be located, how to find north, how not to lose your shit when you get lost.)

2. How to smoke pot. (Yeah, I'm totally serious. My mother taught me about the care and storage of pot and it was fantastic to have at least one thing that was not learned via trial by teenage party fire.)

3. How to mend garments.

4. How to talk to customer service people to get what you want from the interaction.

5. How to cold call people (could be anything from customer service, to random people who left their phone numbers with you...just how to talk on the phone to someone you don't know).

6. How to deal respectfully with people who are just not as good or fast as you are at a job (particularly if you need to work with them anyway).

[harrellj.livejournal.com]

Man, numbers 4-6 were something I learned on the job (customer service no less). I only had one job that I had to cold call people and that was primarily a case of telling people to come to the store and pick up their repaired (or not repaired and too expensive to repair) items. Such skills are useful even when far from a phone (much easier to walk up to someone to say "can you help me find such and such item?").

To res: one other suggestion, I don't think it'll be much of an issue, but maybe a mention that some people do not work an 8-5 job (seriously, as a night owl, second shift is awesome for me, but so many people give me a look like I just changed languages when I mention my work hours).

[malkingrey]

A bit of academic advice I got from my father, which turned out to be both true and useful: It's a lot easier to work too hard at first and then figure out how much you can afford to slack off, than it is to start off slack and then have to work to catch up.

What I wish I'd learned: How to like, or at least tolerate, routine housework.

[arduinna]

Cooking and laundry are huge -- I was an old hand at laundry because it was a rite of passage to adolescence in my house, but I sucked at cooking, and mostly ate out of cans and boxes (and takeout/delivery that used up most of my food budget). I can do cook now, but only enough to get by.

Money stuff:

That "minimum payment due" is a vicious trap designed to push people into poverty if they're not already there, and keep them there.

How to hold your own against salespeople, particularly for things like cars or appliances: researching ahead of time, knowing what an extended warranty covers and when it's useful.

When buying in small amounts at higher per-unit prices makes more sense than buying in larger amounts at lower per-unit prices, and when it doesn't - not just food, but dry goods, white goods, entertainment goods, etc. Relatedly, how to do the math on price stickers to figure out if an "economy" size is really saving you money.

Tipping -- when to tip, who to tip, how much to tip, how to calculate tips in your head. The "take 10% and double it, or add half if the service wasn't good" advice from my dad decades back means that I've never had to fumble for a calculator, and have also never penny-pinched a tip, since my default with that is always to round up. OTOH, I never actually got a good overview of who does and doesn't get tipped, and I still fumble around that sometimes. (My state used to have 5% sales tax, too, and you just reverse the tip thing for the tax -- so I never got surprised by the tax on an item, either.)

Practical stuff:

Basic clothing repair -- fix a seam, sew on a button, how to get blood and other stains out. I knew how, but my brother didn't, and used to throw out perfectly good dress shirts because he thought they were "ruined", when a new button or some brisk scrubbing could fix them right up.

How to properly fit a bra (or find a shop that will fit you properly -- not Victoria's Secret!!), and that your bra size can change throughout your life even if your weight holds relatively steady, so keep getting fitted. How to make bras last longer, but to replace them regularly regardless (I still always wait too long, and am amazed every damn time at how much better a new, properly fitted bra feels than an old stretched-out one does).

How to drive stick. I got into too many cars in college driven by drunk people, because I didn't know how to drive stick and couldn't take their keys and get us home. Never again - I bought a standard for my first car out of college so I'd have to learn. (And got hosed by the car salesman who talked naive me into the full-package extended warranty and other extras I didn't need, and spent years paying off.)

[octette]

How to communicate effectively; not just how to sort through thoughts and feelings and figure out how to translate them into language, but "nonviolent communication." Some of the stuff that comes along with it isn't necessarily practical for everyday communication, but damn, I wish I'd known all about it before I got my first FT job, etc.

Also: a MetaFilter membership. Ask MeFi is super handy for all kinds of stuff; reading MetaTalk is incredibly educational just for watching the way people interact with each other.

[malnpudl]

Wow, what a brilliant post. Also, I think you're probably a pretty awesome mom.

I think the one thing I'd most like to have learned is coping skills (which I'm still struggling with at 50+). How to handle stress and emotions that feel like too much to handle. My family's strategies for this were alcohol, rage/bullying, or retreat/immobility. All of which suck. To have learned and practiced something more appropriate before leaving home, to the point where I knew I could do it and it had become habitual... that would've been the most enormous gift.

[wanted_a_pony]

So. Much. Agreement!!!

[sage]

How to say no politely.
How to identify my own healthy boundaries and tactfully protect them.
How to go for the right sort of help in different situations.
Self-defense. I think everyone who can should take at least one six-week course.
The pleasure and relief and responsibility of having allies and being an ally.
What signing a lease means & what co-signing for someone else means, legally.
Where the local cop-shops and fire stations are, to drive to immediately if someone decides to be a stalkery asshole.
That getting in the habit of doing laundry once a week (instead of once a month) is SO worth it.
To read and listen critically, questioning assumptions.
To cook at least five completely different suppers appropriate for feeding people you like.
How to fix a clogged toilet and frozen garbage disposal.
Where the important papers are in case something happens.
To make her own master list of passwords and accounts in case something happens to her.

Things I'm grateful I *was* taught:
What's on the credit card statement, what the interest means, the need to pay bills on time.
What credit scores mean and what they're good for.
How to change a tire.
How to use the portable air compressor to inflate the tires (one of the best tool-related gifts Dad ever gave me).
How to use vise grips and duct tape to fix nearly everything (those vise grips still serve me well!)
How to backstitch a torn seam and replace a button.
How to be frugal.
How to tell the difference between wants and needs and when splurging on wants is just fine.

[myalexandria]

How to clean a bathroom. No, don't laugh, I wasn't that spoiled! I did plenty of chores growing up. But we had them all shared out, and I just...never cleaned the bathroom. Or did laundry. I figured the laundry thing out pretty fast when I got to college, but when I had my first apartment, I actually did not clean the toilet for the first six months I lived there because I didn't know that I was supposed to, or how to do it. I also didn't know what to do about mildew.

I wish my dad had taught me more about plumbing and electricity; I picked up some woodshop-type skills in high school, but I feel like there's some basic electrical-wiring stuff I could have learned but never did.

Oh, and car things. How to change oil, how to change a tire. (My lack of car knowledge has been exacerbated by living my entire adult life in NYC.)

I also feel like it's important for kids at that age and older to have real, actual responsibility in the broader community (that is, not just responsible roles in clubs or same-age sports teams or whatever). I babysat a ton from age 11 on, but any job would do. And I look at the teenage altar servers at church and think how happy and confident they look; they have a key role in the community, we couldn't do this without them, they're really doing something and working with adults. It seems like older kids and teenagers feel infantilized a lot -- stuff like that seems to help.

I wish I'd learned to be less contemptuous of other people at that age, instead of waiting until my twenties, but that may not be either relevant to your personal kid, or something you can really teach her :)

[fox]

I know I had a conversation with my mother once where I expressed regret that my cousins are much better at cooking and sewing than I am, and how I felt like this made me a bad daughter who was no credit to her - until she and I both pointed out at exactly the same moment that she never taught me those things, while my aunt did teach them to my cousins. So it might "reflect badly" on my mother, but not because I didn't learn the skills. :-P Still, though, I can cook well enough not to go hungry, and sew well enough not to go naked, but not even to my mother's standards, which are those of a woman whose parents grew up in the Depression and was herself in 4-H as a kid and at some at least subconscious level found it important not to need those skills in her adult life - with the result that her children have different kinds of sufficiencies.

For example, while I cannot assemble the ingredients in my kitchen into a meal of any interest at all (in fact, I don't have ingredients as much as items; I can't even really keep my kitchen stocked with things that can be assembled, but only with things that I already know what to do with - my life is modular rather than stick-built), I can and do stick to my guns with - well, related to the above comment about asking for what you need, my brother and I both have the skill of insisting on what we deserve. It can sound awful to say so, but I believe we both do this without treating people badly, or else apologize for having done so. But e.g. my recent experience insisting that my dental insurance cover the procedure they'd denied - I think I got that tenacity from my parents' refusal to admit things they knew not to be true, and one memorable time when my father sat on the phone for several hours because he wouldn't take no for an answer from an airline.

Other examples: for several months running I was getting billed from my physical therapists' billing department, who maintained that I had missed a co-payment, which I knew not to be true - I know there are people who would consider it worth $25 to be left alone, but I am not one of those people. Likewise arguing with the bank about monthly maintenance fees for checking accounts with direct deposit, which are not supposed to incur such fees; or, when I was a mere three months out of college, insisting that the credit card people refund the annual fee and close the account of a card that was not the one I had applied for (when they said they'd close the account only when it showed a zero balance). Or the time my brother told the airline people that it couldn't possibly be true that they couldn't reroute him on the flight they had already rerouted me on, unless there was no more room on the plane, which was not the case. We both of us often find ourselves saying "If you can't do this thing I need done, please connect me with someone who can."

I know I am fortunate to be in a position where my credit is good enough that eventually the people I'm arguing with on the phone will give in. So I guess the thing I'm glad I took away from my parents' house is that it is vital to, as far as you are humanly able, maintain good credit.

[lalaith_niniel]

How to maintain a car. I killed my first car in high school because I didn't know important it is. My engine threw a rod in the mountains and if I hadn't been aware of the oil light turning on and pulled over things could have gone very badly. It was one of those experiences that taught me that preventative maintenance really will save you money!

Also, it's never to early to explain the cost of borrowing money. There are times when it's necessary to borrow (buying a home or car, college, etc.) and times where it's just not wise (that adorable pair of shoes). Knowing to shop around for the best rate and looking at the overall cost over the life of the loan can help save tons of money. I can't tell you how many things I've wanted until I figured out how much it would cost if I put it on my credit card and only made the minimum payment.

[mergatrude]

I wish to god someone had taught me about menstruation, sex, contraception and other useful things along those lines. Those kind of things are hard to figure out for oneself without fucking it up. Sometimes literally. *g*

I'm guessing sex ed is more useful these days, but I went to a Catholic high school and my mum could barely bring herself to say the word "period."