Swimsuit woes
May. 20th, 2012 07:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
resonantJust finished ordering a couple of swimsuits for the kidlet, which was an exercise in frustration -- it's very difficult to find appropriate swimwear for someone who's already shaped like an adult at thirteen.
It seems to me that the available swimsuits make one of three statements:
Type 1: "I am a hoochie mama. I wasn't actually planning on swimming; I'm just going to recline here while you undress me with your eyes. If you bring me champagne, it's going to have to have a straw in it, because if I raise my arms, these straps are going to break."
Type 2: "I am a middle-aged matron. Would you like to see my swim cap with the little flowers on it?"
Type 3: "I can afford to spend seventy dollars for a swimsuit for someone who's still young enough to enjoy scooching around the bottom of the pool on their belly."
I no longer have a problem ordering for myself, because I actually am a middle-aged woman (though my swim cap doesn't have flowers on it) and have lowered my standards to "will stay on for actual swimming and won't disintegrate in the chlorine for at least a year."
I ended up at kmart.com (the online store, because the three-dimensional store only had Type 1 swimsuits, many of which had both fringe and sparkly studding) with a couple of suits that look athletic and practical in the itty bitty preview photos. I just hope they don't fall apart right away.
p.s. is there such a thing as a service on the internet that I can instruct, "Keep an eye on this product, and send me an e-mail if it goes on sale"?
edited 2019 to retroactively correct the kidlet's gender pronouns
It seems to me that the available swimsuits make one of three statements:
Type 1: "I am a hoochie mama. I wasn't actually planning on swimming; I'm just going to recline here while you undress me with your eyes. If you bring me champagne, it's going to have to have a straw in it, because if I raise my arms, these straps are going to break."
Type 2: "I am a middle-aged matron. Would you like to see my swim cap with the little flowers on it?"
Type 3: "I can afford to spend seventy dollars for a swimsuit for someone who's still young enough to enjoy scooching around the bottom of the pool on their belly."
I no longer have a problem ordering for myself, because I actually am a middle-aged woman (though my swim cap doesn't have flowers on it) and have lowered my standards to "will stay on for actual swimming and won't disintegrate in the chlorine for at least a year."
I ended up at kmart.com (the online store, because the three-dimensional store only had Type 1 swimsuits, many of which had both fringe and sparkly studding) with a couple of suits that look athletic and practical in the itty bitty preview photos. I just hope they don't fall apart right away.
p.s. is there such a thing as a service on the internet that I can instruct, "Keep an eye on this product, and send me an e-mail if it goes on sale"?
edited 2019 to retroactively correct the kidlet's gender pronouns