Raspberry textile cookies

[resonant]

Thanks for all the editorial help. Y'all are the greatest. Now: Who's going to write the new Chapter 1?

I decided to go with condo manager for Sleazy Ex-Fiance, which was a very popular suggestion. Developer was a little too sleazy for my purposes; I liked property inspector, too, but I didn't want to imply that Our Hero has anything to hide. I love the fact that "accountant" is now a sleazy occupation on a par with "pawnbroker" and "repo man."

I was amused to see that both my first love's name, my first lover's name, and my husband's name showed up on the Sleazy Name List; I'm not sure what that says about my love life. It's funny how few of those names worked for me, but I had immediate sparks with evilprettykitty's suggestion of "Trent" -- it has just the right air of entitlement to it.

For the business name -- vickita and threegoldfish were probably joking about this, but I'm going to use Saved By the Bell.

In other news: Today, in the process of making the raspberry sandwich cookies from the December issue of Cook's Illustrated, I created a new substance whose properties ought to interest NASA.

I was instructed to boil one and a quarter cups of raspberry jam until it was reduced to one cup, and then spread it between two butter cookies. The boiling-down process took an inordinate amount of time -- nearly an hour. The resulting substance was, in texture, only a step or two removed from being a Fruit Roll-Up. And it was ...

Sticky.

Sticky on an epic scale.

How can I describe to you how sticky this stuff was? It was so sticky that if you picked up a cookie and happened to touch a bit of the filling, the cookie would follow your finger back up, and it would stay stuck to you until you removed it with the other hand. It was stickier than a second-person present-tense Harry/Draco wedding story written by a writer whose pseudonym contains both fangirl Japanese and fangirl Elvish.

And I'd make it again, too, next time I have someone who's deserving of such a high-maintenance cookie, because they are Just That Good.

Comments

[copracat]

It was stickier than a second-person present-tense Harry/Draco wedding story written by a writer whose pseudonym contains both fangirl Japanese and fangirl Elvish.

I'd type my appreciation for your wit but I'm laughing way too hard to be coherent.

[cyprinella]

Woohoo! The power, the power....*grin*

[icarusancalion.livejournal.com]

It was stickier than a second-person present-tense Harry/Draco wedding story written by a writer whose pseudonym contains both fangirl Japanese and fangirl Elvish.

All right, this... this description went beyond brilliant. I'm still chuckling.

Icarus

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mark356.livejournal.com]

OMG!

I know how sticky raspberry jam already is; do you knwo how much you have to boil it down to get it to the puddinglike consistency it already is? If you heated it that much, it would melt into something so sticky that my hair and fingers already ache from jsut imagining it, not to mention my elbows (if that stuff ever dries anywhere!)! And you boiled the stuff down all the way from one and a quarter cups to one cup!?!?!? Ye gods, woman!

And you recommend this?

[vickita.livejournal.com]

vickita and threegoldfish were probably joking about this, but I'm going to use Saved By the Bell.

Score!!!

The hilarious thing is, yeah, I thought at the time that it was too silly of an idea. Then yesterday I was in traffic behind a van belonging to some remodelling business owned by someone named Taylor, and the business name was "Taylor-Made Homes" and there was another pun on there about having your home custom-Taylored.

So, you know, maybe not too silly. *g*

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I had no idea! I thought that when you boiled it down it would get, I don't know, a little thicker and a little less shiny. I had no idea it would turn into industrial glue.

But, my god, are these cookies ever good.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

There's a local tow-truck business called Big Tow, and their logo is a big toe being towed away. So, yeah, nothing's too silly to exist in the real world.