Overheard and overseen

[resonant]

Because these days you get no content from me unless the universe provides it to me.

Me: What we want you to do is go to bed and go to sleep.
Kidlet: I try to, but my love of reading prevents me.



I gave blood yesterday. The technician at the Red Cross had many streaks of black ink above the shirt pocket on her white lab coat, like she never remembered to cap her pen before putting it in her pocket.

-----

There's a guy who comes to my coffee shop a lot, whom I think of as The Born-Again Yuppie, because I first saw him wearing one of those men's dress shirts where the body of the shirt is pink and the collar is white. And blue-and-white pinstriped suspenders. And he was having a Bible study with a friend, except that it quickly broke down into a discussion of relationships. And one of the things he said was, "I'm lucky to be married to Yvonne, because I need to be kept on a really short leash, and she does that for me."

Well, yesterday he was here listening to a sexual harrassment workshop online. (I know this because he couldn't be bothered to use headphones, so even though I had headphones on, bits of his workshop kept getting through my music.) He was taking a quiz. And when he got to the end of the quiz, he went, "Damn!" -- so apparently he wasn't doing too well.

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Liz: Why did you get milk that was dated September 11?
John: It's the latest date I could find. I went through about three shelves to get -- oh, I see.
Liz: It's an omen.

-----

There's a Peet's in the in-laws' suburb. It's in a keystone building (you know, one of those triangular buildings that fit into the angle where one street crosses another one on the diagonal), so the view outside is almost 180°.

So a guy walks up with a big shaggy dog. He leaves the dog outside the door (on a leash but not attached to anything). The minute the guy's inside, the dog takes off to the left with a very purposeful stride. The guy gets his coffee and walks out the door -- pantomime of shock! My dog! Is missing! and he goes off to the right. After a moment, the dog comes back (very much like a person who's completed an errand and `come back to a waiting place) and sits down just where the guy left it. When the guy comes back, the dog just gives him a look, like: Where you been? You said to meet you here!

-----

There's a guy with a small girl and an older woman who's apparently the kid's nanny. A young woman talks a bit to the girl, then says to the guy: "I've got a little boy about that age." The nanny takes the kid away, and the guy says to the woman, "Are you a single mother?" She says, "Uh, sort of." He gives her his business card: "I'd like to get together, if you want to. Get to know you better."

Immediately as soon as he leaves she calls up a friend on her cell phone and recounts the whole story. Pause while the friend makes some objection. She replies, "Yeah, but I'm not going to wait around forever for him to get serious! I tried to talk to him about it at the breakfast table this very morning, and he could not get out of there fast enough!"

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Woman on cell phone: "Wonder how it got in the yard? I didn't think they could fly."

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Woman my age (i.e. not in the first blush of firm-fleshed youth) in a skirt short enough that she must have been wearing a thong or I'd have seen several inches of the bottom of her underwear.

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Very short woman walking with very tall youth: "I didn't raise you like that."

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House with about 50 hardcover books carefully stacked on the outside stairs -- apparently permanent storage.

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Girl (about two and a half) whose name is apparently Story.

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Watching baseball. Moises Alou at bat.

Spouse: They all have big butts.
Father-in-law: Black people?
Spouse: [open-mouthed stare] I meant baseball players!

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Guy with dress pants, worn fashionably around his hips, and cut off raggedly at the ankles.

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Kidlet at skateboard park: Ooh! Wow! Look at that! Wow, look at what he's doing! Hey, why are their pants all falling off?

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At skateboard park: Guy who looks like a young Owen Wilson, shirtless, 2" of boxers showing above his jeans. He's carefully navigating, up and down, across the smallest bowl, which is about four feet deep.

And out comes a little girl, about nine years old, to do the same thing in the nine-foot bowl.

-----

Guy sits on couch at Peet's. Keys slip out of his pocket when he gets up to get his latte. When he turns around, I point, and he makes that oh-I'm-an-idiot gesture -- and then I realize that he's very cute and has steamed-milk foam on his upper lip, and, yeah, the first thing I notice is the location of his lost keys, so I must really be married.

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Peet's counter guy, under a chart listing 34 varieties of beans available: "I don't know. Coffee's coffee, right?"

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Market Street in San Francisco, the open-air market at the U.N. Plaza. Look left: a chicken-roasting cart, with at least two dozen chickens rotating on a spit; the smell is incredible, and you can feel the heat. Look right: a dozen or so homeless people lying on a ledge. Drawn by the smell? the warmth? or is this just their usual spot?

Comments

[villainny.livejournal.com]

That was genuinely lovely to read. Thank you.

[chickwriter.livejournal.com]

I try to, but my love of reading prevents me.

I love this so much!

I remember as a kid, when I'd get sent to my room for "punishment", I never cared, because I had shelves full of other worlds waiting for me.

[lexin.livejournal.com]

when I'd get sent to my room for "punishment", I never cared, because I had shelves full of other worlds waiting for me.

Same here. And if forbidden to read I still didn't care, because I had the worlds and people in my head.

[mahoy.livejournal.com]

God, I thought I was the only one who ever got grounded from reading as a child. Needless to say, my kids get to read at the dinner table (as long as the food is actually making it inside their mouths).

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

My parents had this foolish thing about the value of reading that made them reluctant to take my books away as punishment for anything -- and yet it's probably the only punishment I would have feared enough to make me change my behavior.

This is the thing about being a bookish introvert: It's very hard to ground us, because that's the way we live all the time!

[isilya]

Yes, the punishment for forgetting my sports uniform for physical education classes in school was... being sent to the air-conditioned library for time out.

[neery.livejournal.com]

Oookay. I'd never, ever had a day of physical ed in my life if my school had done that.

[lydia-petze.livejournal.com]

I never did think gym teachers were the sharpest pencils in the box.

[norah.livejournal.com]

The best part of chickenpox was that they let me read under the covers.

[raqs.livejournal.com]

all fantastic. thank you.

[exceptinsects.livejournal.com]

Oh, that used to be me.
But now I seem to have gotten old (not really, just 30 but still what the hell, man?) and my [body's] love of sleeping seems to prevent me from reading as much as I once did.
depressing, is what it is.

[glitterdemon.livejournal.com]

I loved reading this. Does your kidlet make sacrifices at the altar of wit, or what?

[shearebliss.livejournal.com]

RE: kidlets.

I do so love that. It reminds me of things the Mousewitch, formerly a kidlet, used to say when caught reading my books at age twelve.

[springwoof.livejournal.com]

wow. incredible observations. you don't just let life go by, do you? you pay attention

and I may be completely in love with your child--in the "I could never have such a cool kid" way....

[malnpudl.livejournal.com]

I love these posts. I look forward to them.

And I miss the Bay Area. And Peet's. *sigh*

Then again, I don't miss the traffic. So there's that.

[timian.livejournal.com]

I love these posts. Thank you so much for writing them up.

[frek.livejournal.com]

I love reading your observations, they're wonderful.

We all need to pay more attention to life. It's amazing what you discover.

♥

you are made of magic beans!

[kormantic.livejournal.com]

I love you so.

[mecurtin.livejournal.com]

Kidlet: I try to, but my love of reading prevents me.

Definitely one of those "this apple has not fallen a scientifically measurable distance from the tree" moments. We have them a lot, too. We've had to deal with a whole series of traumatized elementary-school teachers who've never before had to tell a kid *not to read*. By now (2nd kid) it's a routine: yes, our child is wonderful, yes, it's great to teach someone who really loves reading, yes, you are authorized to take her book away from her when she can't pay attention in class, no, we won't be upset or even surprised. "Put down the book and no-one will get hurt."

[firesprite1105.livejournal.com]

I love these posts. The Kidlet also makes me smile. :)

[venivincere]

Kidlet: I try to, but my love of reading prevents me.


And after that, how do you say "We mean it!" :-D

[raucousraven.livejournal.com]

Excuse me while I frame this entire post, or possibly bronze it for posterity, because the random awesome is sometimes the best kind around.

Also, your kidlet? Wins.

[kudra2324.livejournal.com]

i love these lists of yours, but i also have a request: if i ever have a child, could i borrow your kidlet to come provide training sessions?

[lydia-petze.livejournal.com]

Yep, I had to have the books taken away before I would sleep. I never got those kids who wouldn't read.

[smallbeer.livejournal.com]

I love these posts. please feel free to make them as often as you like.

...delurks...

[kumquatweekend.livejournal.com]

I gasp in shock! As a former Peet's employee -- the original Vine Street location in Berkeley -- and unabashed coffe snob, I hereby declare that bean counter guy FIRED!

(They still have Arabian Mocha-Java, right? And Mocha Sanani? Those are still my favorite coffees in the whole wide world.)

Re: ...delurks...

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

He really didn't sound like he was being ironic, either.

I like Central American coffees -- I like that bit of sourness they seem to have. But I confess that I also like grocery-store French vanilla decaf, too, so I'm not really what you'd call a sophisticated palate!

[auroramama]

A real treat. And the kidlet is a kick.

I can't wait till my own kids are wreaking generational revenge on me by doing chores with a book in one hand, like I used to do. Used to drive my mom crazy: she'd tell me to sweep the living room floor, and come back fifteen minutes later to find me dutifully making ineffectual pushing motions with the broom in my right hand and all my attention focused on the book in my left.

[farwing.livejournal.com]

Thanks for this. These segments are a joy to read.

[tofty.livejournal.com]

Just FYI, I guess, Story (also spelt Storey) is a not-unpopular New Orleans name, for both boys and girls. I've met/heard of half a dozen of more or less my generation there.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

It's a cool name! I'm a little jealous, actually; wish I had a cool name instead of the name that 50% of all girls age 12-18 have.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

Yeah, kidlet's still the coolest.