Cleaning

[resonant]

We're snowed in so hard that for a while it looked like we were going to have to climb out a window, and it's nearly time to put up the Christmas tree, so naturally I embarked on an enormous bout of housecleaning. I'm so sore I had to take a Tylenol. From scrubbing the damned floor and running the equally damned vacuum cleaner. Man, I'm out of shape.



If you ever want to be depressed, try this: First clean your kitchen floor the way you normally clean it, and then go over it on your knees with a sponge and a scrub brush and see how dirty it was after you cleaned it. (If on your knees with a sponge and a scrub brush is the way you normally clean, you are dead to me.) I spent two and a half hours on my knees, like a hermit or a whore. And the kitchen floor, which is probably forty years old, still doesn't look good, but it looks a lot less sticky in the corners.

And then the vacuuming. Bear in mind: I had already dusted very thoroughly with a Swiffer duster, and I had already vacuumed all the carpet with the upright, the kind of vacuuming that requires moving furniture. So I put a nice clean new bag in the little canister vac and used it to vacuum -- oh, all the things an upright doesn't do well or at all: the three rooms with hard floors, the edges where the carpet meets the wall, inside the heat vents and cold-air returns, the sort of chain-mail curtain inside the fireplace that's supposed to keep hot coals from burning the house down, etc. And when I was finished, the nice clean new bag was full.

Before I moved into this house, the longest I'd ever lived in one place was three years. It's shocking how dirty things get when you don't move away. I mean, like, did you know that when you live in a house for thirteen years, when you take a picture down off the wall, there's a sheet of woolly dust clinging to the back of it, shot through with spiderwebs like blood vessels?

Meanwhile the spouse shoveled snow all day long except for a break for lunch and piano practice. He claims he's not sore at all. Perhaps I will poke him in the night and see if he screams.

Comments

[celandineb.livejournal.com]

He'll scream. Unless he's made out of iron, he'll scream.

Congrats to you for your extremely strenuous cleaning! I'm trying not to think of the cleaning I need to do. Soon. Before the dust bunnies and mildew take over.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

The sensible way to do this would have been slowly, over the course of a month or so -- one week for the kitchen, one for the living room, etc. That would have avoided the repetitive-motion pain, I think.

But I couldn't leave the house, and I was bored silly, and I would have felt guilty reading while the spouse shoveled snow for hours on end ...

[darthfox.livejournal.com]

I did know that about pictures, actually, because my grandmother lives in the house that my grandfather was born in, and he just died this summer at the age of almost 87. There are cobwebs in that house that are older than my mother.

My own mother is, therefore, as you might predict, sort of comically devoted to tidiness. Or, she always was when I lived in her house. Two summers ago, she was between her second and third years of law school and working in The Hague; my father was traveling a lot for the summer; and my brother and I were of course long gone. But we all converged on the house for one week when my brother was getting married, and nobody had vacuumed or dusted the place for ages, and my mother made more references than you've ever heard in one afternoon to Miss Havisham's wedding cake. :-D

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Hey, if you're going to be covered in filth, at least you can be literate about it.

[springwoof.livejournal.com]

ah yes, on the knees scrubbing the kitchen floor by hand with a scrub brush....I remember it well...every week of my childhood until I moved away from home...which is why I will never do that again....


sounds like you did lots of work--but now your house is all sparkly and shiney, squeaky-clean!

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Good lord, every week?

I actually did think to myself, "If I did this once a month, it probably wouldn't take so long." But every week? That's a little ... excessive, isn't it?

[springwoof.livejournal.com]

That's a little ... excessive, isn't it?

somewhat. Mom was a bit of a neat-freak. (which is why my own domecile is perpetually at least a bit untidy--in reflexive rebellion)

Also, of course, I exaggerate. It fluctuated from weekly to semi-weekly, depending on the amount of traffic, and therefore dirt, the floors had been exposed to. And my folks moved to a house with all wood or tile floors when I went away to college, so when I came home on weekends & holidays I didn't have to scrub them. I was very happy to say goodbye to the linoleum/vinyl/whatever floors (they were pale beige. the better to show the dirt).

You're right that once a month would probably be sufficient, and you'd only have to really do the corners/edges and the high-traffic areas. Lightly trafficked areas would probably do fine with just regular mopping.
(though if you can afford it, new flooring is designed to be easier to clean, and to hold less dirt initially.)

sparkly, sparkly house! Do you have your yule decorations up yet, making it even sparklier?

wags, springwoof

[laurelwood.livejournal.com]

I'll bet despite the needing Tylenol, though, you have that virtuous glow that comes from all that super duper cleaning. I always do.

I cannot find a mop that isn't a total piece of crap, so I regularly do the hands-n-knees style of floor-cleaning; the better to breathe in the ammonia fumes, I guess. Our linoleum is probably of the same vintage of yours, so yeah, still not shiny, but at least not so grimy.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I buy the mops with strips of fabric, where you can take the heads off and wash them in the washing machine. I wasn't dissatisfied with them, until I saw how absolutely filthy the floor was after I used one ...

And if I'm going to do this regularly, I'm definitely going to need to buy some knee pads. My knees are still red!

[caseylane.livejournal.com]

I do the hands and knees thing about once a year. Other than that I rotate between 3 different mops and hate them all. I know I should get an old string mop but I hate wringing them out.

As far as that husband of yours, he'll probably be unable to get out of bed in the morning.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

The evil spouse said the next morning, "Hm. My chest is a little tight." And then he went out and shoveled snow all day long again. I suppose this is his reward for going to the gym pretty much every day.

My cholesterol is still better than his, though!

[caseylane.livejournal.com]

Well that's no fun, although it's nice you didn't have to shovel the snow. Guess it's a trade-off.

[elynross.livejournal.com]

I'm sitting and laughing, but it's totally sympathetic laughter! I spent yesterday vacuuming a rug that's been in a back room and hasn't been thoroughly cleaned in years, both sides, and the carpet paddign underneath, and I filled a bag and a half. And I pulled a bunch of paintings down, in prep for the painting that's going to happen, and there are totally sheets of wooly dust.

My mother used to keep this house, if not spotless, but quite clean. I've never put the work into it she did, and I'm finding out now *just how much time* she must have spent on all of this!

And with all the hauling and cleaning, there's a day now and then where I sit down on the couch, and when I go to stand back up I feel like I'm in my 70s, rather than my 40s, I'm so stiff and sore. *shakes head*

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I actually blame my mother for my current housekeeping incompetence; she did all the work, right up until I was in college, and so some part of my brain now expects that she'll come and clean my house!

Our house is always reasonably tidy (for values of "reasonably tidy" that take into account a craft-crazy seven-year-old and a spouse so absent-minded that I routinely find the address book in the refrigerator), but it's never really clean.

It was very depressing to do all that work and then discover that everything already needs dusting again!

[teneagles.livejournal.com]

I was once broken up with because he said I was too much of a neat freak (which is saying something, when you're gay). Apparently it's not standard practice to clean the inside of the refrigerator with a steamer and a toothbrush. Who knew?

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

[backs away slowly]

Oh, no, wait! What I really mean is: Want to move in with us?

[teneagles.livejournal.com]

What I really mean is: Want to move in with us?

You'll hardly notice me. Just leave a bowl of milk by the kitchen door, now and then.

I just find it relaxing to live in a space that not only appears clean, but I know to be *actually* clean. I'm sure there's deep-seated and persykological reasons for it. If only I had been loved as a child!

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I find that relaxing, too, but apparently I find it more relaxing to do what I want to do, when I want to do it, and not spend time cleaning. So the ideal would be to have a brownie, or, barring that, a housekeeper.

[cricketk.livejournal.com]

I'm due for an enormous spring clean. Yet your aches and pains (and apparently endless dust) are not filling me with any great desire.

I know just how dirty all the corners of this apartment are and I'm not looking forward to moving everything around to get to them.

I'll go and virtuously refrain from eating chocolate instead.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Take my advice: Don't try to do this kind of cleaning for six hours in one day. Today's the first day that I haven't woken up in the morning with a terrible ache in my forearms and hands.

[kupukello.livejournal.com]

Oh! Have you ever pulled the stove out and had a look what's behind it, and on the sides of the stove? It might be that the ginormous American stoves are bolted to the floor, but ours have tiny wheels so that people who care about these things, can clean behind the stove every week. I do it once in ten years and it makes me want to puke every time I do it. Another one of my "oh me oh my!!! *throws up*" places is the floor below the fridge. The fridges are typically fitted in a cupboard here, and there's a skirting board at the bottom, and once you remove THAT and look inside, oh sweet jesus!!!

Waxing linoleum floors, as old-fashioned as it sounds, is not a bad idea at all. It makes the floor look better and it's easier to keep clean that way. And as much as I like our hardwood floors (they are at least easy to vacuum), you can't scrub them; using anything but a damp soft cloth is strictly forbidden. No scrubs, no sponges, just a flat mop (http://www.sinituote.com/tuotteet/monitoimimoppi1.htm) (Hee!! Look how in the Nordic ads it's the FATHER AND THE SON cleaning, the mother and the daughter are nowhere to be seen :)))

[temaris.livejournal.com]

Oh, and under the washing machine, too -- in my flat it's next to the sink, under a worktop, and when I pull the washing machine out it's just -- all I can say is how does all that dust and dirt even *get* in there. Also? I want a stove top that is inset to the worksurface, so stuff can't escape down the sides. The stove is tethered to the wall by a relatively short electrical cable that is wired directly in, not plugged. It's a miserable job cleaning it all, balanced across one corner of it, almost upside down.

[fullygoldy.livejournal.com]

I grew up with one of those stove tops, and you wouldn't believe the crud that develops under the little metal band that runs all the way around it. Yuck! Also, it was a Jenn-Air, which means it had a grill on one side, so there was a glass jar underneath that collected grease drippings. Always lovely when you went to get a pan to cook with and found the grease had overflowed *again* onto the shelf and the clean pans. We tried using a bigger jar, but it just made it stick down far enough that breaking it with a frying pan was bound to happen sometime (yes, it did).

We all have our crosses or whatever ::sigh::

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Oh, ew! I don't know whether our stove comes out or not, and I don't care to know!

I should probably remove what little finish remains on our old kitchen floor, and put a new finish down. In fact, I even bought the supplies for the job. Like, ten years ago. Because ugh!

I adore hardwood floors, but I do not want them in my kitchen! I mean, I dropped an egg on my kitchen floor yesterday. Hardwood is just not tough enough.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

Next time, swap. Shovelling snow is better for your health than inhaling dust anyway.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Oh, but at least my job could be done indoors where it was warm and the wind wasn't blowing ...

[toft-froggy.livejournal.com]

Well, I am getting vicarious satisfaction from your clean house. Hey, I should get my flist to clean more often.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Enjoy it! Just don't come visit. Or if you do, wipe your feet!

[akite.livejournal.com]

I probably shouldn't confess this, but I found out how dirty the kitchen floor was in the last place we lived because I spilled some ammonia on the floor a couple of months after we moved there. I thought the dirt was just part of the pattern on the vinyl. Yes, I got on my hands and knees with a scrub brush. It was disgusting.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. Now I'm deeply tempted to try the ammonia thing and see what happens. no good can come of this!

[puts 'knee pads' on grocery list]

[fullygoldy.livejournal.com]

I hate dusting!! My solution to this problem, since my house seems to generate more than the usual amount, was to get a vacuum with a HEPA filter and a canister - no bags. (Inexpensive and effective ones can be found at the usual "marts"). Now I vacuum *everything* leaving very little to dust by hand. I just found out last week that my sister (far across the country) does the same thing - only she also vacuums her dining table top after meals! LOL.

Also, twice in the past 8 yrs, a friend of mine has come and dusted everything by hand for a bday gift. It's the nicest gift I've ever received :)

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I cannot believe how much dist there is in the world.

One thing I've never understood about those bagless vacs: Don't you have to see/breathe all the dust when you empty the vac?

[fullygoldy.livejournal.com]

I take mine outside to the big trash can to empty, I usually don't even open the vac inside the house. If you hold it at arm's length to empty, the billowing dust can pretty much be avoided. There are HEPA filtered vacs with bags on the market, but they're much more expensive than mine ($80-90 for my dirt devil), and then you also have to pay for the bags, which are more expensive than normal too.

I love my dirt devil. I can see just how much is getting picked up, and empty it before it's too full, and it sucks like the lobster entree' in 'flashdance.' ::g::

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

I knew it!

Honey, you need Flylady (http://www.flylady.net). It was only a matter of time.

:-)

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

In my head I actually follow the Flylady system. In reality, what it means is: Oh, hey, this week is the week that we're neglecting the bathroom. Last wee was the week that we were neglecting the kitchen.

[giglet.livejournal.com]

In direct contrast to Lobelia's comment:

Honey, *I* need Flylady. Your house sounds enormously shiny (now)!

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Now I'm all resolved that after the holidays I'm going to do the same kind of cleaning on the parts of the house that don't show, including the spare room, which has become a dust-and-clutter sanctuary. I may need to notify the EPA first.

[jack-pride.livejournal.com]

::wince:: You had to mention scrubbing the floor on your hands and knees.

When I was about twelve I had a ridiculously huge blow-up with my mother about washing the kitchen floor with a sponge mop (because I was about twelve, and of course didn't want to wash the floor!) She played the "You think this is work? My mother used to do this on her hands and knees," speech, and my response was something to the effect of her mother being too stupid to attach a stick to her sponge and I have felt guilty about that comment for well over ten years now.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Oh dear.

But your mother may very well have forgotten all about it.