My own personal hell

[resonant]

[breathes a big sigh of relief]

At last! I have power! (Well, my laptop has power. But it feels like mine.) Thanks be to the relevant deities.

I think laptops must be in the purview of Hermes. They're mysterious, communication-related, and portable.

It was awful, having a perfectly functional computer and not being able to use it. Watching the charge on that last battery creeping down, down, down -- it was like watching your room slowly fill with water.

In other news, I built a hell.

Ex-boss 2 (the Space Cadet)
Circle I Limbo

Ex-boss 1 (the Space Alien), Quark Inc. programmers
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Women who can't talk about anything but dieting, Phil Collins
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

People who drive slow in the passing lane
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Guys who go up to women they don't know and say, "Smile!"
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

People who voted for Jesse Helms
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

SUV drivers, Spammers
Circle VII Burning Sands

The Fox News team, Evangelizers
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Child abusers
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

Comments

[tinderblast.livejournal.com]

I wish that there was a way of writing laughter that actually sounded like someone going into hysterics and wasn't just a polite hahahahHAHA ... dear god, getting trapped in a conversation with someone who talks about nothing but dieting (or, as they say in Flannery O'Connor, 'reducing') is akin to being that poor woman who was supposedly trapped in the elevator with the man's decpitated head for half an hour. It's horrifying, and unnecessary, but there's no escape.

What's worse than men who say 'smile!' are the ones who elaborate on that sentiment - 'smile, it don't cost you nothing,' 'smile, it's not that bad,' or 'if I give you a kiss, will you give me a smile?' Not that anyone says this to me, but I've heard other people have to experience this.

*justifies wildly*

-brodie

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

No stranger has said "Smile!" to me since I was about nineteen. I think I got meaner looking and now they're afraid to mess with me.

I heard a guy say it to a girl who was waiting on him at Taco Bell, though, and I very nearly became the Smile Avenger. "Hey, asshole, she's making minimum wage for making your lunch. If you want women who are paid to make pretty for you, there's a strip club down the street."

As for the dieting women, this is something I really don't get. It's a thousand to one that I would be interested in what you do eat, but the odds are astronomical against my being interested in what you don't eat!