Overheard and overseen, child-heavy edition

[resonant]

Since I've found my tarot deck, I show the kidlet how it works.
Kidlet: "Wow! It's like they know what's in my head! They're magic!"
Me: "Well, they're not really like magic. They're more like stories."
Kidlet, indignantly: "Stories are magic."



Not a quote, but tell me this cat doesn't look like Snape.

"I hate Dutch doors. They're not good for anything except hitting people in the face."

"So now that he's with her, suddenly he buys gifts for his family and sends his own Christmas cards, and, I don't know. I guess I'm just bitter."
"Welcome to the Bitter Lands! You can be my roommate!"

I come up the stairs at the gym to find a guy at the top mopping the floor.
Me: "I thought it smelled clean in here."
Guy: "It smells like victory."

T-shirt: "Stop Plate Tectonics"

Kidlet, with great melodrama: "You disappoint me in every way!"

"She's getting close to thirty. She's almost expired."

Choir: "Mary, Mary, what you gonna name that baby? What you gonna call that ho-o-o-oly baby?"
Director: "That's a bad page turn, isn't it? Start again, bottom of 5, What you gonna call that ho."
Choir: [cracks up]
Director: "What?"

"When I think of it, I think of it as a really sad and painful thing, and what would I wear?"

Kidlet: "I hope you know there's a Kleenex in my bed."
Me: "Well? It won't hurt you."
Kidlet: "It would if it developed spikes. Or if it suddenly became hungry."

Kidlet's friend Phoebe: "Here's something I don't get. They know how to make kids' shampoo so it doesn't hurt if it gets in your eyes, right? So why don't they make all shampoo like that?"

Small child at coffee shop -- just barely old enough to talk: "I want money!"

Kidlet's friend Kylie, at about midnight: "I just wanted you to know that if you hear some really loud thumping downstairs, it's only because we're playing unicorns."

Comments

[raveninthewind.livejournal.com]

*big smile*

[starwatcher]

.
"Stories are magic."

I've felt that ever since I learned to read.

As for the rest -- I giggled all the way through. Thank you.
.

[florahart]

*agrees really hard about the stories*

:D

[celli]

hee!

[raqs.livejournal.com]

You can't deny the comment about the Kleenex.

love!

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

No, it's true; if things in life were in the habit of developing spikes, life would be much more uncertain than it is today. "Hey! Somebody take the kitten down off the table! -- um, never mind."

[cat-latin.livejournal.com]

The Kidlet still wins at quotes.

[snailbones.livejournal.com]

LOL - the Kidlet still gets my vote for world domination *g*

[rickey-a.livejournal.com]

lol, yes the cat is Snape's animagus!

oh and the "money"
when we go to the mall and there's those little 50cent kiddie rides my 4yo puts out his hand and says "I need da money" "Gimme some money" (which is of course a great tune by Spinal Tap;)

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Aww!

When the son of a friend of mine was about two, I watched him in the coffee shop his grandfather ran. He toddled up to one table and said, "Gi' me a dolla?" and then he toddled up to another table and said, "Want a dolla?"

[blacksquirrel.livejournal.com]

Ha! I love "Stories *are* magic"

So true :)

[pauraque]

Stories ARE magic. And I love your description of Tarot, that's how I feel about it too.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

My first encounters with tarot were with people who were very superstitious about it -- I had a friend in college who used to wrap his deck in four layers of silk and put it in a drawer because he said otherwise the "vibes" would get out and mess with his mind. And of course there's that comedian who said, "I played poker with a tarot deck, and I got a full house, and four people died."

But I actually think it's more impressive if you think of it as a set of archetypes from the depths of the human mind over history than if you think of it as some sort of method for making evil spirits predict the future, you know?

[droolfangrrl.livejournal.com]

Children have a special wisdom all their own. It's kind of like living with senile Zen masters that won't pick up after themselves.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

OMG, I laughed so hard at this. It needs to be needlepointed onto a pillow or something.

[ecaterin.livejournal.com]

*laughs till cries*

omg SO TRUE.

*wipes tears*

Res, when you needle point this I'll buy a copy :D

[somniesperus.livejournal.com]

The Kleenex thing made me laugh out loud.

[toft-froggy.livejournal.com]

*g* these are great. And, woah, that cat does look like Snape. Freaky.

[aurora]

Unicorns!!

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Unicorns, by the evidence, are rather clumsy and noisy. Also, they like popcorn.

[ecaterin.livejournal.com]

Kidlet: "I hope you know there's a Kleenex in my bed."
Me: "Well? It won't hurt you."
Kidlet: "It would if it developed spikes. Or if it suddenly became hungry."

Kidlet, again, wins! All her quotes are just awesome, and reflect the insanity wisdom of her parental units!

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

One day she will realize how deeply odd her family is, but by then it will be too late and she'll be doomed to pass on the oddness to the next generation. Bwah hah hah!

[princessofg.livejournal.com]

the tarot story: I HEART THIS!

(been into tarot for years. :) )

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

She's just fascinated with them, and already she's absorbed enough about them to think it's a great joke to slip the Tower into someone's layout when they're not looking!

[nudaydreamer.livejournal.com]

Kidlet quotes always make me smile. :)

because we're playing unicorns.

[kormantic.livejournal.com]

I envy your sharp ears. (g)

[crimsonclad.livejournal.com]

I just wanted you to know that if you hear some really loud thumping downstairs, it's only because we're playing unicorns.

Huh, that's funny. John Sheppard used that same phrase just the other day...

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Bwah!

[reginagiraffe]

So why don't they make all shampoo like that?"

This... is an extraordinarily good question.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

It is!

Maybe if they made all of them No-Tears, they'd all have that strange smell that baby shampoo has?

[myalexandria.livejournal.com]

that cat is FREAKY, yo.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I know it. And actually it's not quite like Snape because it looks self-satisfied and happy with its lot -- but then cats have a better life than, well, most anybody.

There's a sci-fi bookshop in San Francisco that we go to when we're visiting the in-laws, and its Bookstore Cat is one of those like in the picture. I think her name is Ridley. If you pet her, she feels like felt. And it's kind of sad, because she's a cat and she wants what cats want -- she wants you to touch her and pay attention to her and everything -- but she just gives me the creeps.

[vass]

Kidlet, indignantly: "Stories are magic."

She's not wrong. And I love that you're teaching your kid tarot.

The cat's hair is not greasy enough to be Snape.

Choir: [cracks up]
Director: "What?"

Ahahahahahaha.

Kidlet: "It would if it developed spikes. Or if it suddenly became hungry."

Right again. Your kidlet's really smart and creative.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

No, it's true. If Snape spent as much time on his grooming as a cat does, he'd be glossy and self-satisfied, but he'd have no time for teaching.

[giglet.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

Phoebe is very smart.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I thought it was a very smart question!

This is Sparklypoo Phoebe, who's been trying to get the kidlet to play games like "makeover" and "prom" and "wedding" since she was about four. But she's got a brain in there.

Actually I used to be really annoyed that the kidlet had chosen Phoebe, out of all the available girls she could have been friends with who weren't boy-crazy in the pre-K. But now their other friend, Carmen, has started doing this thing where she gooses people and pinches their nipples and generally commits assault and sexual harrassment in the halls of the grade school, and by comparison, Phoebe's starting to look like a pretty good friend!