Overheard and overseen
Oct. 20th, 2008 08:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
resonantFriend to kidlet: "I've seen your closet. It's a pit of death."
Me: "Your fund-raiser isn't selling the kinds of food we eat."
Kidlet: "What do you mean?"
Me: "Well, listen to this: Frozen grilled salmon. Frozen cooked potatoes. Frozen broccoli with cheese sauce."
Kidlet: "Those are for lone men."
Me: "I don't get this fashion for pastel camouflage."
Kidlet: "Maybe they think girls will be throwing water balloons at boys while hiding under flowers."
Me using the cash-card reader at the drugstore: "Oops. Said 'yes' when I should have said 'no.' "
Cashier: "Story of my life."
Me: "Should I go to the gym, or save the whole morning for writing?"
Spouse: "Remember, you write with your cells."
In coffee shop: "If you break anything, just yell, 'Opaa!' "
Saw: A guy with one of those goatees that's just a thin line down the middle of the chin? Only he had a mohawk, too. The combined effect was as if a sanding wheel were part of the way through his head.
At the floor-sanding office: "So I was drunk-cooking biscuits and gravy last night ..."
At the coffee shop: "It's a hundred degrees in Oklahoma in July! She's wearin' a wig and a wool suit! The wig is on backwards!"
In the coffee shop: "Old bankrupt Bush. Everything the man touches turns to shit."
At the coffee shop: "Everybody has a shelf life."
At the coffee shop: "My first impression of Montego Bay was two vultures eating a dead dog."
Kidlet, on a nightmare: "It wasn't that scary. I wasn't the one skinning, and I wasn't the one being skinned."
Parent, on cell phone, in the schoolyard: "That's some bogus-ass shit, Mama."
At the church office: "They can kill us, but they can't eat us."
Spouse, to kidlet: "Must we always come back to the tale of my underwear?"
Me: "Your fund-raiser isn't selling the kinds of food we eat."
Kidlet: "What do you mean?"
Me: "Well, listen to this: Frozen grilled salmon. Frozen cooked potatoes. Frozen broccoli with cheese sauce."
Kidlet: "Those are for lone men."
Me: "I don't get this fashion for pastel camouflage."
Kidlet: "Maybe they think girls will be throwing water balloons at boys while hiding under flowers."
Me using the cash-card reader at the drugstore: "Oops. Said 'yes' when I should have said 'no.' "
Cashier: "Story of my life."
Me: "Should I go to the gym, or save the whole morning for writing?"
Spouse: "Remember, you write with your cells."
In coffee shop: "If you break anything, just yell, 'Opaa!' "
Saw: A guy with one of those goatees that's just a thin line down the middle of the chin? Only he had a mohawk, too. The combined effect was as if a sanding wheel were part of the way through his head.
At the floor-sanding office: "So I was drunk-cooking biscuits and gravy last night ..."
At the coffee shop: "It's a hundred degrees in Oklahoma in July! She's wearin' a wig and a wool suit! The wig is on backwards!"
In the coffee shop: "Old bankrupt Bush. Everything the man touches turns to shit."
At the coffee shop: "Everybody has a shelf life."
At the coffee shop: "My first impression of Montego Bay was two vultures eating a dead dog."
Kidlet, on a nightmare: "It wasn't that scary. I wasn't the one skinning, and I wasn't the one being skinned."
Parent, on cell phone, in the schoolyard: "That's some bogus-ass shit, Mama."
At the church office: "They can kill us, but they can't eat us."
Spouse, to kidlet: "Must we always come back to the tale of my underwear?"
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 10/21/08 01:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 11/4/08 03:19 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/21/08 01:17 am (UTC)Laurie
(no subject)
Date: 11/4/08 03:19 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/21/08 01:22 am (UTC)*SNERK* This sounds like something I would do.
(no subject)
Date: 11/4/08 03:21 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/21/08 01:51 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 11/4/08 03:21 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/21/08 04:32 am (UTC)B
(no subject)
Date: 11/4/08 03:22 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/21/08 04:54 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 11/4/08 03:23 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/21/08 09:24 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 11/4/08 03:24 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/21/08 09:39 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 11/4/08 03:25 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/21/08 09:49 am (UTC)Also, "That's some bogus-ass shit, Mama" has, I think, made my entire week.
(no subject)
Date: 11/4/08 03:26 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/21/08 09:55 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/22/08 02:21 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 11/4/08 04:14 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/21/08 10:31 am (UTC)I love it when you post these things.
(no subject)
Date: 11/4/08 03:34 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/21/08 02:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 11/4/08 03:48 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/21/08 02:15 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 11/4/08 04:06 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/21/08 02:19 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 11/4/08 04:06 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/21/08 05:00 pm (UTC)Win!!!
(no subject)
Date: 11/4/08 04:07 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/21/08 05:05 pm (UTC)I love you dearly... I also need to know more about the underwear!
(no subject)
Date: 11/4/08 04:08 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/21/08 05:44 pm (UTC)I love these posts, really I do.
(no subject)
Date: 11/4/08 04:08 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 10/22/08 12:05 am (UTC)Egads, yes! Mo'Bay is a fascinating place if you're interested in cultural/social anthropology. I had a good time when I went some thousand years ago, but that sentence above pretty much nails it.
Love these posts, btw.
(no subject)
Date: 11/4/08 04:13 am (UTC)from SB
Date: 10/29/08 12:57 am (UTC)p.s. Your kidlet rules!
Re: from SB
Date: 11/4/08 04:14 am (UTC)