Figure 4b: Slasher stereotype pet comparison table

Wow. I really figured introverts would be 99%. What are all you extroverts doing on the computer all alone? Or do you, like, have computer parties where you and all your friends work at the computer together?

Obviously I screwed up all my chances of scientific accuracy by the wording of that "small tattoo" question. There goes the Nobel.

Also, I can see that it's going to be necessary to come up with a single standard measurement for pets, for slasher stereotype purposes. So I've taken the liberty of developing one.

The standard unit of slasher stereotype petness is the Cat, or C. Obviously a domestic feline is equal to one C.

An exchange rate allows us to translate all other pets into units of C.

One rat = 2 C
One mouse = 0.5 C
One reptile of any kind = 4 C
One ferret = 2 C
One rabbit = 1 C
One dog = 0.2 C
One fish (exceptions below) = 0.05 C
One fish (piranha or miniature shark) = 3 C
One carnivorous houseplant = 2 C
One hedgehog = 2 C
One hamster, gerbil, or other preschooler-type pet = 0.25 C
One budgie, parakeet, or other small domestic bird = 0.5 C
One parrot or other talking bird = 2 C
Any non-domesticated animal (e.g. squirrel, toucan, leopard) = 5 C

So those of you who have five dogs, four budgies, or two mice can answer "yes" to the question, "Do you have a cat?" And those of you who have a gecko or a skunk can answer "I have several."

Equivalency ratings for tattoos, piercings, and other forms of body modification I leave to the discretion of the reader.