Ogling swimmers
Sep. 7th, 2004 08:06 pmIt is very boring to watch a five-year-old in the pool for three hours, but I can't bring myself to read or write if I'm the head adult in charge. So I watched the kidlet, and everyone else, too.
The pool on Monday was full of packs of astonishingly attractive black girls from the housing projects, about ogling whom I was filled with a mixture of white liberal guilt, holy-shit-I'm-old-enough-to-be-her-mother guilt, and fear that they'd notice and come over and put those long beautiful arm muscles to work breaking my jaw.
I really shouldn't go to the pool when I'm ovulating. No good can come of it.
Those two-piece swimsuits with the low-riding boycut bottoms? With the belt around the hips that clasps with a big buckle right in the middle? Totally designed to draw the eye to the mons. It can't be an accident.
On the other hand, a two-piece with a long top and a bikini bottom seems to be designed to draw the eye to that nice soft spot right below the navel.
I would be happy to give equal time to the guys, but the only males at the pool were pre-pubescent boys, the large pasty hairy dads of the prepubescent boys, and one good-looking lifeguard with a Kowalski sort of vibe to him, whom I've ogled pretty comprehensively in the past, and who foiled me this time by wearing ankle-length "shorts" and a sweatshirt.
The pool on Monday was full of packs of astonishingly attractive black girls from the housing projects, about ogling whom I was filled with a mixture of white liberal guilt, holy-shit-I'm-old-enough-to-be-her-mother guilt, and fear that they'd notice and come over and put those long beautiful arm muscles to work breaking my jaw.
I really shouldn't go to the pool when I'm ovulating. No good can come of it.
Those two-piece swimsuits with the low-riding boycut bottoms? With the belt around the hips that clasps with a big buckle right in the middle? Totally designed to draw the eye to the mons. It can't be an accident.
On the other hand, a two-piece with a long top and a bikini bottom seems to be designed to draw the eye to that nice soft spot right below the navel.
I would be happy to give equal time to the guys, but the only males at the pool were pre-pubescent boys, the large pasty hairy dads of the prepubescent boys, and one good-looking lifeguard with a Kowalski sort of vibe to him, whom I've ogled pretty comprehensively in the past, and who foiled me this time by wearing ankle-length "shorts" and a sweatshirt.