I propose

that somebody should totally make a men's T-shirt that says, "Can't Sleep. Fangirls Will Slash Me."

Edited to add: OK, maybe that somebody could be me.

Brazen marketing

Well, why not? I've started a CafePress shop with "can't sleep. fangirls will slash me." on T-shirts, boxers, etc.

I made an image for "fanboys will slash me," but because it's a free shop, if I have a white tee with the fangirls design, I can't also have a white tee with a fanboys design. But what do I want for free, I ask you.