Nonexistent stories meme

Taken from ellen_fremedon:

Tell me about a story I haven't written, and I'll give you several sentences from that story.

I love this meme. It's like getting to wander through the Slash Annex of the Library of Babel.

[edited to change the terms of the meme, because apparently I'm incapable of sticking to "between one and three sentences" unless I write torturously long and complicated sentences with an illegal number of semicolons]