In lieu of screaming

[resonant]

Dear Pastor Vague, here are the facts.

1. You are not very good at graphic design.
   
2. I am very good at graphic design.
   
3. What's more, designing all the church's publications is my job*.
   
4. Obviously, therefore, designing all the church's publications is not your job.
   
5. Many things that are your job (such as strategic planning, developing lay leadership, coordinating various groups so that they don't duplicate one another's work, making an effort to see to it that our old and homebound members still feel bonded to the community, etc.) are things you can't be bothered to do.
   
6. Therefore, just bring me the information about the new program and ask me to draft a flier. Do not provide me with a sheet of centered type, all the same size, with little boxes drawn on it, all the same size, where you want me to put certain specific color photos from Wikipedia, I swear to God, and then tell me which color paper to print it on while trusting that mysteriously the red background isn't going to affect how the color photos look, all right?????
   

[pant pant pant]

* On the other hand, things that are not my job include teaching you repeatedly how to upload a photo to Facebook (which I do anyway because it would take longer to argue) and arranging to get your lawn mowed (which I will not do no matter how often you hint).