Squeaks of outrage

[resonant]

The kidlet, being a seventh grader, had Abstinence Education today. To deliver this, the school evidently took them back to the 1950s.

The AE teacher told the girls that every boy thinks constantly about having sex with every girl he meets. Yes, seriously, the phrase "only want one thing" was used. Girls have to police how they dress so as not to tempt boys.

The kidlet sees right through all this, of course -- I mean, the kidlet actually knows some boys, and most of them, if they only want one thing, only want not to have to play dodgeball again -- but naturally they had to share squeaks of outrage with me when I got home and then share more squeaks of outrage with the spouse when he got home.

And then they had to endure me marching up the stairs at lights-out to make the speech that begins "And I suppose they assumed that everybody is heterosexual?" and ends " ... perfectly normal and we would love you in exactly, precisely the same way."

To which they replied, "Yes, but strictly speaking the term for women isn't 'gay,' it's 'lesbian.' "


edited 2019 to retroactively correct the kidlet's gender pronouns

Comments

[princessofgeeks]

I LOVE THIS IT GIVES ME HOPE THANK YOU.

BUT the SCHOOL OMG NO NO NO.

[jcalanthe]

Clearly you are being successful parents! I share squeaks of outrage too.

[shayheyred]

I'm a little horrified that this teacher 1)exists and 2)is allowed to say such things. Is this a public school?

I am amazed and know not what to say.

[the_shoshanna]

OMG. I'm so glad you seem to have successfully immunized her against that load of toxic horse-hockey...

[wesleysgirl]

Wow. Yikes. My son is 11 and I doubt there's much "health class" (what he has in 5th grade, no sex talk yet) will teach him, he's read a lot of books already and we've talked about all of it since he was small. I've been super pleased with his health teacher, who he reports told them, "I'm not going to tell you not to do X or Y, because that won't stop you. I'm going to give you all the information so that you can make an educated decision for yourself." (!!!!)

[via_ostiense]

The kidlet is smart and wonderful. Her AE teacher...not so much.

[aerye]

To which she replied, "Yes, but strictly speaking the term for women isn't 'gay,' it's 'lesbian.' "

omg, ♥

[kass]

I ♥ your kidlet.

[thefourthvine]

Clearly you have an awesome kidlet, which I hope helps you feel better about the whole Abstinence Education thing. (A few months after the safe banana, Z called me to let me know that they'd started sex education, and it wasn't like in his textbook. "They talked about everything," he said, sounding very grim about the whole thing. "Everything you said." You could tell that it had not been pleasant, and he felt mildly betrayed by the school system<i. I think he was sort of hoping for abstinence education. He would probably greatly envy your kidlet, is my point.)

[beachlass]

*parenting high five*

[resonant]

The spouse is particularly outraged because when he was a boy, that kind of message made him feel like there was something wrong with him because really he didn't want to have sex with anybody at all.

Naturally I'm more taking issue with the "Here is the dress code you follow so you don't get raped" end of things.

[resonant]

We gave her Heather Corinna's "S.E.X." a while back so we'd have a good starting point for discussion. Which is great because now she has all the language for everything.

[sara]

Maybe you can think of it as a spousal bonding opportunity: together, you can go in and rip the principal a new one!

(That's pretty much what we decided to look on last year's so-called "truancy problem intervention" as. The principal still isn't making eye contact with me, and we have yet to hear one word about how Herself is a delinquent.)

[princessofgeeks]

definitely outrage. thank goodness the kid has you 2.

[resonant]

It's a public school, but for this program they sent them to a "health education center" affiliated with one of the hospitals.

It isn't the only reproductive education she's getting in school, just a one-day program, so I'm still outraged but at least it's clearly separate from school.

(I've seen the center's program on drugs, and it's dubious, too. They're obviously under a lot of political pressure.)

[resonant]

Since she watches so little television, this may have been her first introduction to the idea that she's responsible for other people's desires.

[resonant]

That sounds terrific -- both what you're doing and what the school is doing. I do worry a lot about boys, because parents may feel that teaching them is not so important since they can't get pregnant!

[resonant]

Well, we think she's the best of all possible kidlets, of course ... hope she's having the same discussions with her friends that she's having with us.

[resonant]

Hee, she later told me, "You know that really long acronym with the G and the L and the B ... I've decided I'm the A, but for Ally, not for Asexual."

[resonant]

I probably boast about her way too much.

[merrily]

Your kid is awesome, and this health education stinks.

[resonant]

[rereading the Safe Banana story and laughing so hard again]

My parents got me books and stuff, but didn't do much talking -- I went through high school figuring that most of this stuff my mother probably didn't even know, since my dad had already told her he wasn't ever watching another Richard Pryor performance with her until she learned what all the words meant. Now it occurs to me that she grew up on a farm and probably knew a lot more than I thought and just couldn't talk about it.

But, you know, I want to be in a house where it's possible to speak sentences like "Mom, I'm pregnant" or "Mom, I'm taking Hannah to the prom, not church Hannah or softball Hannah but the other Hannah, the one with the bicycle."

[resonant]

You just never know what patriarchy is going to throw at you next, do you?

[resonant]

It does! I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm all for abstinence -- I think very often it's the best choice (especially for somebody who lives in my house and whose unexpected babies would become my responsibility!) -- but it's a big jump from "It's OK to decide you don't want to have sex" to "but if you don't, remember that you will have to devote all your energy to protecting your virtue from ravenous boys all the time."

[resonant]

I love this glimpse of your relationship. "I don't know. Dinner and a movie, or strike terror into the heart of some petty authority figure?"