December daily: Family and fandom

[resonant]

norah prompts: Is your kid aware of the extent of your fannish involvement? How have you two navigated that? Is the kidlet fannish, and how? What about your partner?

For a while I worried about the kidlet accidentally intersecting with the smutty side of my fannish life, but they're fourteen now, so I'm not worried about it any more. I was reading plenty of smut when I was fourteen, most of it much less life-affirming than fanfiction.

I mean, I think I later discovered that calico was about fourteen the first time I sent her a feedback e-mail that said, "That story you wrote was incredibly sexy!"



(which is not to say that I'm providing porn to my kid, since I think that would be illegal and it would definitely be kind of creepy. I'm just not making a vain attempt to hide my involvement in it.)

They are very fannish, chiefly around Loki, nuTrek, and Dan & Phil. They talk about writing fanfiction but I don't think they've finished any. We swap links to gifsets and gen stories and worksafe art. I've offered to request a Dreamwidth code for them, but so far they're not interested.

One of their middle school acquaintances asked her mother if it was OK if she got a tumblr. The kidlet and their friends all pretty much agreed that if you asked your mother if you could get a tumblr, that was proof that you were too young for a tumblr.

As for the spouse: He's got slash glasses for TV and movies now, but he kind of doesn't get online culture -- I can't seem to break him of the habit of thinking of it like a consumer rather than like a participant.

Sometimes he'll ask me what my community thinks of something, by which he basically means, what's the opinion of twentysomething queer feminist academics on this thing? (A while back he said to me, "How is feminism these days?" and I said, "Sometimes stumbling over its own racism, sometimes eating its children, just like always," and he said, "Excellent. I'll inform the patriarchy that all is going according to plan.")

He hasn't read anything I've written since looking at an early draft of "Thirteen Christmas Traditions" which really did not showcase me at my best, a fact that embarrasses me a bit.

It may occasionally occur to him that being married to someone known for her smut ought to make his personal sex life a little livelier -- it's sometimes occurred to me that being known for my smut ought to make my personal sex life a little livelier. edited 2019 to retroactively correct the kidlet's gender pronouns

Comments

[monanotlisa]

A while back he said to me, "How is feminism these days?" and I said, "Sometimes stumbling over its own racism, sometimes eating its children, just like always," and he said, "Excellent. I'll inform the patriarchy that all is going according to plan."

Ahahah.

By which I mean, ouch.

[resonant]

Not that patriarchy really needs any help from us ...

[out_there]

A while back he said to me, "How is feminism these days?" and I said, "Sometimes stumbling over its own racism, sometimes eating its children, just like always," and he said, "Excellent. I'll inform the patriarchy that all is going according to plan."

HEE!

It may occasionally occur to him that being married to someone known for her smut ought to make his personal sex life a little livelier -- it's sometimes occurred to me that being known for my smut ought to make my personal sex life a little livelier.

*snerk* I don't think it works that way (although maybe that's just my experiences *g*).

[laurenthemself]

It's not just your experiences either. *looks a little rueful*

[resonant]

I guess I could write vividly about jogging, too, while sitting in a chair and not going jogging.

[laurenthemself]

Hey, I did, you totally could. (I was writing a Big Bang Theory/Silence of the Lambs crossover.)

[minutia_r]

One of her middle school acquaintances asked her mother if it was OK if she got a tumblr. The kidlet and her friends all pretty much agreed that if you asked your mother if you could get a tumblr, that was proof that you were too young for a tumblr.

Heh, a while back my kid (who is seven) was asking me to make him an AO3 account so he could post his Percy Jackson fanfic. I told him, "You may have an AO3 account when you figure out how to make yourself an AO3 account."

[resonant]

I told her about that, and she thought it was both funny and true!

[azurelunatic]

If she ever does get interested in a Dreamwidth account, we're codeless now.

And yeah, I think that's a good age line for Tumblr.

[resonant]

Wow, I'm behind the times.

[kass]

I think of "Thirteen Christmas Traditions" every year when I put the pickle on our tree. (The pickle which I bought, let me be clear, because of that story. :-)

Your kid is awesome, and clearly so is your spouse. Mine has never read my fic, to my knowledge, though he quite likes some of my vids, and has written some (mostly crack) fic himself which is even on the AO3, bwee. I'm such a good influence. ;-)

It may occasionally occur to him that being married to someone known for her smut ought to make his personal sex life a little livelier -- it's sometimes occurred to me that being known for my smut ought to make my personal sex life a little livelier.

Ahahahaha yes, I can sooooo relate to this one.

[resonant]

Having inspired your tree pickle makes me really crazy happy!

[norah]

<3 for all of this, particularly: (A while back he said to me, "How is feminism these days?" and I said, "Sometimes stumbling over its own racism, sometimes eating its children, just like always," and he said, "Excellent. I'll inform the patriarchy that all is going according to plan.") . I am weirdly fond of your whole family for never having met them. I am glad you can all enjoy fannish things together in your separate ways.

[resonant]

I'm really feeling the lack of time together now that I'm working full time and the kidlet has so many school activities -- because we've had so many wonderfully strange conversations over the years, and conversations don't happen on a schedule.

[king_touchy]

My offspring is very fannish, and they know of my participation in fandom, but our fandom participation doesn't intersect much. We watch several TV shows together, but don't write fic in the same -- wait, I take that back. We have both written Temeraire fic for Yuletide. I was even allowed to read it.

I don't hide my activity online from my kid, but I tell them that I would prefer they avoid the explicit stuff. Since they don't read in my fandoms, that's not a problem. They're very good at reading in their comfort zone.

My spouse knows about fandom and my participation in it, and has in the past read some of my fic, though has written none (does NaNo most years, though, which is cool).

I love hearing about your family's involvement. I wish I was less hesitant about sharing stories about the fannish life around here. My family cracks me up.

[resonant]

It's interesting how many of us have families with multiple writers in them!

[akacat]

A while back he said to me, "How is feminism these days?" and I said, "Sometimes stumbling over its own racism, sometimes eating its children, just like always," and he said, "Excellent. I'll inform the patriarchy that all is going according to plan."

I hope he said "Excellent" like Mr. Burns. :)

[resonant]

Now that you mention it, yes!

[myalexandria]

I love both you and your family very much, which is part of the definition of online community :)

[resonant]

It's true! And having moved to a place where I don't yet have friends, I value more than ever my internet friendships.

[sara]

...heh, that was how I wound up here. I was living in a place where I had, like, two friends.

[jesse_the_k]

begin quote It may occasionally occur to him that being married to someone known for her smut ought to make his personal sex life a little livelier -- it's sometimes occurred to me that being known for my smut ought to make my personal sex life a little livelier. quote ends

This is so true that I imagine some community-minded fan has already done a poll and a meta and perhaps a conference (in an all-suite motel?) on the topic.

Know you of any such?

[resonant]

No! Sounds like fertile ground for a researcher!