Overheard and overseen

[resonant]

Wow, one of these has a reference to Thanksgiving in it! I had no idea it had been so long since I did one of these. The world continues to be quotable, though.

Kidlet: "I just said something genius, didn't I? It's hard to tell sometimes."



Me: "You know, I like macaroni and cheese, and I like shrimp ..."
Kidlet: "Oh, I don't like where this is going."

My favorite project manager: "The object is to leave the meeting without the monkey."

Sign on driveway: "Honk for Will! Amy said yes!"

"I always feel ... that the Lord wants me ... to take a nap."

Kidlet: "My stuffed animals are still in the summoning circle."

"When it comes down to it, I'm ok. ... I'm a pretty nice person. ... I guess. ... Depends on who you ask."

"That's what she said."
"Not to me."

The white sheep: "And I'm like: Lady, you are not the boss of Zumba."

Kidlet's friend, lifting up the couch cushion and seeing a pile of candy wrappers: "Oh my God. It's like the death of Halloween under there."

On the day before Thanksgiving: "You guys don't forget to set your scale back ten pounds tonight!"

"My co-workers are perfectly normal."
"Where do you work at?"

"I'm gonna say ... I'm not gonna say anything. Never mind."

"If they're confused, they're confused consistently."

Kidlet's fanfiction-reading friend: "Semen isn't made of, like, hydrochloric acid! His pants will need cleaning, but they won't be ruined unless they're made out of, like, kleenex!"

Pastor: "Different denominations believe different crazy things."

"They're like the Three Musketeers. No, wait: I mean the Three Stooges."

Whiteboard in meeting room: "This board intentionally left blank."

My favorite project manager again: " 'Morning' is a metaphysical reality over which I have no contral. 'Good,' however, is a value judgment."

"I don't want to sit in a chair where somebody just sat."
"Isn't it OK if you know it was me?"
"Butt heat is butt heat."

Comments

[miella]

Kidlet's fanfiction-reading friend: "Semen isn't made of, like, hydrochloric acid! His pants will need cleaning, but they won't be ruined unless they're made out of, like, kleenex!"

Kidlet's friend is smart. I have often had that same thought upon reading similar passages! And I wonder how big these people's budget for textiles is if everything is just ruined instead of needing to be washed.

[laurenthemself]

Kleenex pants are the new black.

[krait]

I just always assumed they were wearing very stainable underwear (the timeless fandom classic of "black silk boxers" comes to mind). ...I think the HP characters collectively owned more black silk boxers than are actually manufactured annually; they seemed to pop up in nearly every slash fic I read. :D

But no, less humourously, I think it's just that they're ruined for the planned purpose/timeframe, rather than for all time. They haven't disintegrated, but any and all plans to wear them today are definitely off the table.

[resonant]

But sometimes they follow up with "... and those were thousand-dollar pants!"

And what were you planning to do if you wore them and spilled mustard on the knee or something?

[krait]

Hahahaha, wow, really?! That is a follow-up that I've never encountered!

Still, "oh noes these cost a thousand dollars and I only got to wear them for two hours" seems reasonable enough a cause for dismay, even if you still get to wear them later.

(Or maybe it's "Oh noes, these cost a thousand dollars, my dry cleaning service is going to judge me SO HARD"? :D Because if they cost that much, the cleaning process is probably something that involves at least one other person, not just you + your washing machine. So maybe you'd rather write them off and throw them out than have to ask somebody else to clean jizz off your Armani?)

Now I really wanna see if I can get AO3 to cough up a fic where this happens, because I'm curious as to which fandoms trend toward thousand-dollar pants. :D

[monanotlisa]

THIS BOARD IS INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK!

Good ones. :)

[resonant]

Everybody looked at me to see why I was laughing!

[china_shop]

Hee! These are wonderful.

On the day before Thanksgiving: "You guys don't forget to set your scale back ten pounds tonight!"

*snickers*

[resonant]

I liked that one. Enough to save it for like seven months.

[out_there]

"They're like the Three Musketeers. No, wait: I mean the Three Stooges."

Hee!

My favorite project manager again: " 'Morning' is a metaphysical reality over which I have no contral. 'Good,' however, is a value judgment."

Okay, I can see why he/she is your favourite.

[resonant]

He's hilarious. If I have to have a teleconference three mornings a week, at least he gives me some good sarcasm to look forward to.

[starwatcher]

.
Mac & cheese + hamburger is good, and mac & cheese + tuna is good, so why not mac & cheese + shrimp? (I despise shrimp, so not for me. But since you like it, enjoy!) Suggest to Kidlet there should be gratitude it's not fried grasshoppers. <snerk>
.

[resonant]

It was real -- someone had ordered it in a restaurant. And I will eat cheese grits with shrimp all day long, so I don't understand why it becomes disgusting to me as soon as you swap out the grits for pasta. But it does.

[starwatcher]

.
Oh, I misunderstood. I thought you were advocating for mac & cheese + shrimp, and Kidlet was against it.

I think sometimes it's a matter of mouth texture. A particular item "feels" right in one combination, but not another.

Fortunately, there's enough variety that we can avoid our personal yucks. Enjoy your shrimp and cheese grits!
.

[cjk1701]

I'm deeply in favour of Kidlet's fanfiction-reading friend! She's a smart cookie. Also, reading about sexually well-informed teens makes me break out in kittens and puppies.

[resonant]

They all seem way better informed than I was at that age. I grew up on romance novels; fanfiction provides a much better relationship model.