What could make February better? Colonoscopy!

[resonant]

As another of my postcards from the Older Than Dirt segment of fandom, I was going to post my highly entertaining colonoscopy experience, and then I remembered that teenygozer already did it on Fenopause.

The only way my experience differed from Teenygozer's was that every time I have any kind of professional service, the universe always seems to issue me some Shakespearean character; this time it was an anesthesiologist who (1) "diagnosed" me with sleep apnea because of the length of my chin (mind you, I'm pretty sure he's right, but come on), (2) treated me to a libertarian healthcare rant, and (3) wanted to chat about legal weed a little more than I was comfortable with in a person with his hand on the sedation pump.

And next time I am definitely going to use bone's Smart Water method.

Comments

[grammarwoman]

Thank you for all those useful links!

I just got my consult for a colonoscopy scheduled. I got a little side-eye from the doc when I requested it, as I'm "only" 43, but when I explained that my brother was diagnosed with colon cancer at 46 (and is still doing chemo for it over a year later), plus aunt and grandfather had it...Yeah. That went on the schedule right away, as did the mammogram. Yay for aging meat bags - I guess it's better than the alternative.

[monanotlisa]

Well, who DOESN'T love a little colonoscopy to liven up one's life? (I am, as you know, quite the expert myself.)

[boxofdelights]

When I saw the pulmonologist who ordered me a sleep study, he said, "I can see from over here that you have a small, crowded throat." Then he asked my husband whether I ever made a certain noise. My husband said yes, but I had always made that noise. The pulmonologist said, "Then she has always had sleep apnea."

Of course it isn't actually a diagnosis without a sleep study. Would your insurance cover a sleep study?

[resonant]

Well, yes and no ... I have otherwise good insurance with a ruinously high deductible. In practice it would basically be like paying for a sleep study out of pocket.

I've been considering buying a dental mouthpiece - that would be out of pocket too but cheaper than a sleep study.

[reginagiraffe]

I just had my first one a couple of weeks ago.

I got the 2 liter bottle of Go-Lytely (or similar) with ``lemon flavor packet``. My tricks were a)to drink a LOT before the 3:00 start time (tea, white grape juice, water) - this started the flushing process - and then b)after I had gulped down my 8oz of Go-Lytely (literally gulped, in 6 or 7 continuous swigs), I sipped a bit of the white grape juice, which has a very strong sweet flavor which completely covered the taste of the prep solution. I set a timer to remind myself when the next dose was due.

Next time I think I`ll leave the liquid at room temperature. I was freezing cold by the end of the prep with the cold solution chilling my gut.

[resonant]

Yes! I got used to the baking-soda-and-sawdust flavor, but the cold was awful.

[niqaeli]

I'm making a mental note of the Smart Water method for my brother-in-law, who got his first colonscopy at age 40 due to a rather pressing family history. He's on the every five years screening plan and just had one last year: the prep is, as everyone says, far and away the worst part of it.

I feel like people should know that there IS actually a possibility the anesthesia will knock you fucking silly, though. It's why they insist you have a buddy, I'm reasonably sure. BIL is still a shambling, incoherent mumbly zombie when he gets home from one and generally passes out as sooner as he's dumped into bed -- and he'll wake up and have zero memory of the procedure itself. We're pretty sure it's just how anesthesia does him, since we have two data points on this one.

The anethesiologist you had sounds less than ideal. D:

[rhi]

Thank you for both this post and for the reminder about Fenopause. I finally asked to join and now I'm off to start reading posts that are way more relevant than I like now!

(I swear: if men had to do this, hysterectomy and HRT would be covered by all insurance as soon as perimenopause started.)