Fandom musings, part 1

[resonant]

I'm beginning to feel some stirrings of desire to get involved in fandom again, but mostly they just make me sad, because I can tell that there's not enough energy behind them to result in action.

But I had a blinding flash of the obvious the other day: My writing went away when my Saturday mornings went away.



Both the spouse and I were working full time when the kidlet was born, and we worked out a shift system so we'd always have one Parent In Charge, while the other parent, if present, was a Secondary Parent and could nap or run errands or otherwise have a tiny taste of freedom. The spouse was Parent In Charge on Saturday mornings, and I used to get up early, nurse the baby, and then slip away to Barnes & Noble to drink coffee and write.

I wasn't always productive, but I would leave my laptop at home and work in a little spiral notebook, which limited the amount of distraction. At a certain point, writing was the least boring of the available activities.

But when the spouse went back to school and we went to the commuter marriage model, I started spending weekends traveling to see him. So on Saturday mornings now, the spouse and I (and the kidlet if they're home from school) go to a coffee shop and hang out together.

Saturday mornings hanging out with the family in a coffee shop are lovely. Weekday evenings at home after work in a solitary apartment are also lovely. However, what they are *not* is a nice big chunk of uninterrupted solitary time, during my most productive hours of the day, just for writing.

(About the same time, a smartphone came into my life, so now even if I leave the laptop at home, I have a tiny, ubiquitous box of procrastination to deal with ...)

It's no wonder I haven't written a word since I came to Iowa.

Comments

[princessofgeeks]

This makes perfect sense. Also, hi!

[resonant]

Hi! I'm so happy this place isn't entirely deserted!

[laurajv]

that'd do it. and it's a rough one.

[resonant]

I used to write Sentinel stories with a sleeping baby on my shoulder. Life is kind of weird.

[ravurian]

'Since I came to Iowa' is the perfect opening line for a story...

[resonant]

Jim Kirk is from Iowa, but I notice he found work elsewhere.

LOL!

[flamingsword]

I hope your circumstances are not that dire!

[litalex]

Well, speaking only for myself, I'm glad you get to spend more time with your family, even if it means getting fewer stories from you... I do miss new stories from you though.

[resonant]

:)

It's not the time with the family that I begrudge, but I DO begrudge the time spent driving back and forth, not to mention having to have two of everything.

[jesse_the_k]

And if you have to have two of everything, why couldn’t you have twice as much free time?

[resonant]

Oh, why doesn't it work that way? I have two beds and two closets and two stockpots. I have two cats who have never met. Why can't I have two Saturday mornings?

[laurenthemself]

I have the time, technically, since I'm not a parent, but I'm wrangling depression and what appears to be executive dysfunction.

Anything that stops writing happening is Rude. I hope you find time that suits you soon. I still go back to Transfigurations at least once a year, and the world would be sadder without your words.

the kind of ED that isn't having an alligator in your pants

[flamingsword]

As a fellow sufferer of ED, if nobody has taught you the 5-second-countdown trick, here it is: a lot of people who have trouble with executive dysfunction have trouble with the part of the brain responsible for doing tasks in the correct order. We don't know where to begin, so we just ... don't. If you make an end run around that part of the brain by deliberately using a part of the brain for doing tasks out of order, like counting backwards, then some folks can do the thing. So next time you need to get out of bed or off social media or whatever, give yourself a five second countdown and when you get to zero, do the thing.

It works for me unless I am super depressed and more sections of my brain are broken than just the one, but every little bit helps when you are fighting the zombie menace inside your own mind. Good luck, comrade!

[spikedluv]

Oh, I know what you mean about having certain 'writing time' set aside. I hate when that time get disrupted for a day, I can't imagine how you're managing without it for so long. Now that it's made itself apparent with blinking lights, can you find that time on another day?

[flamingsword]

It is possible to work when you are constantly distracted, but it requires learning to work piecemeal and then putting the bits together. (nb: I might be autistic, YMMV) I keep notes on my phone for when I have five minutes of waiting at the post office or queuing for coffee or whatnot. It probably makes for stories that have less metaphor and depth than your beautifully crafted works in the initial stages, but that is supposedly what editing is for? I don't know. I am still fairly new at this. Take all utterances with large grains of salt.

[queue]

I'm just glad you're still t/here. Still thinking, feeling, experiencing. I go back to your writing at irregular, frequent intervals, and it never fails to entertain and inspire me. Thank you.

[queue]

Also: I do not mean to minimize the difficulty of finding the right place in the space/time/energy continuum to write, and I apologize if I did so here. That fight is real.

[resonant]

Hey, you -- happy to see your name! Want a pillowfort membership come September 1? I'm going to really give it a try.