Natural As Breathing

[resonant]

Sometime in the late 1990s I read a magazine article about this crazy thing that the participants were calling "slash." Somehow or other, I got the idea that the queering of various Star Trek canons was happening in the form of, like, essays or something; it sounded interesting, so I tracked down a Star Trek: The Next Generation zine called "Science Friction" and ordered it.

The naked android on the cover was my first clue that this was, in fact, not a collection of essays, but I wasn't wrong about it being interesting. I opened the zine and read my first-ever work of fanfiction.

It was a mixed het&slash story called "Natural As Breathing." I've forgotten the author's name, but it was in the Vulcan style. It was based on the TNG episode "The Perfect Mate," in which the Enterprise carries a woman to what you might view as either an arranged political marriage or sex slavery in all but name.

Last night I finally saw the episode for the first time.

Once I finally had both parts of the story in my head -- the story itself and the canon it was based on -- I could see that it was doing a lot of things that I've often seen done in the years since:

- It was taking an episode told mostly from Picard's POV and telling it again from the guest star's POV. (In the process, it was fixing this thing where the complete destruction of Kamala's only hope for happiness is somehow portrayed as Picard's tragedy.)

- It was fixing the absolute weirdness of Trek heteronormativity.

- It was dramatic, poetic, beautifully written -- and also explicit at the same time.

It was the first time I'd seen any of that.

It's really no wonder I fell so hard for slash. The thing that amazes me now is that I was ever able to bear to watch any sort of mass entertainment without it. Because ever since then, the only thing that has allowed me to enjoy most of what I watch has been the ghost of the unwritten fic that will fix it.

Comments

[aerye]

...the ghost of the unwritten fic that will fix it.

Wow. Perfectly expressed.

[resonant]

Right? One way or another, we have to find a way to turn the wrong story into the right one(s).

[out_there]

Strangely enough, that's an episode of TNG that I remember surprisingly clearly. Most of the series has totally faded from my memory, but that one stuck.

[resonant]

It was an interesting episode. You could see the amount of thinking that went into avoiding the most obvious pitfalls in the premise, and Famke Janssen was very, very good.

But like a lot of Trek, they thought quite a lot but not quite enough.

[runpunkrun]

What a great introduction to fandom! I asked Fanlore, because I had to know, and it says that story was Natural as Breathing by K'Tel.

[resonant]

I wonder whether I've ever met K'Tel in fandom under another name?

[copracat]

Because ever since then, the only thing that has allowed me to enjoy most of what I watch has been the ghost of the unwritten fic that will fix it.

Today, that feels like the truest thing I've ever read.

[resonant]

By now I've been in fandom for so long that hovering around any statement like that is an unspoken "Still, after all these years, damn it!"

[spikedluv]

Well said! That's exactly how I feel, but I wouldn't have known how to put it into words.

[resonant]

It's funny that I didn't feel so much this way as we were working our way through the original Trek -- but I never watched that when it was new, whereas Next Generation was my Trek.

[jesse_the_k]

You began as you have gone on!

[resonant]

I can't imagine life without fandom!

[stranger]

This is exactly what fanfic does!

[resonant]

That's why even the suiest of Mary Sues is really important.

[lobelia321]

I love this post. I love the line “I could tell this wasn’t a collection of essays but it was interesting.” Understatement of the decade.

So glad you’re still here! Are you on twitter / instagram at all??

[resonant]

No, neither. I spend way too much time reading on tumblr but I despise it -- the only way to minimize the damage it does me is never to post anything or interact with anyone but the kidlet.

I'm going to give pillowfort.io a try, and I supported the kickstarter, so I'll have some memberships to give out in a couple of weeks -- want one?

I'm happy to see your name. I think last time we talked things weren't too great with you -- I hope they're better these days?

[ride_4ever]

I supported the Pillowfort kickstarter too. I am hopeful about PIllowfort, but having a hard time navigating it. I saw that you friended me on Pillowfort -- or whatever is the the Pillowfort term for that -- but I haven't been able to find the "respond" function there. JSYK it's not that I was deliberately not responding there.

[dont_panic42]

<3