Boring smut

[resonant]

Boring Sex Scene Warning #1: "Let's take this somewhere else."

"Not here." "Could we move this to the bedroom?"

This sort of thing is the reason that some writers do sex scene after sex scene and they're all exactly the same.

The scene leading up to sex might have some nice physical/logistical momentum. The guys might be delighted to find themselves slow-dancing in the living room, or having a deep emotional conversation while one of them stands in the kitchen and the other sits on the counter, or kissing while one of them sits in an armchair and the other one bends forward, one hand braced on each arm ...

... but the moment someone says, "Let's take this somewhere more comfortable, shall we?", then you know the next place they'll be is in a bed, side by side, heads on the pillow.

Why not just have some nice half-dressed frottage in the living room, while the CD player spins "Summertime, and the livin' is easy" again and again? Why not explore the possibilities inherent in having the standing guy precisely at mouth-to-nipple height to the sitting-on-the-counter guy? Why not leave sweaty handprints in the crushed velvet of the armchair and wipe up afterwards with the antimacassar? I mean, what else is an antimacassar good for?

Comments

[eleanorb.livejournal.com]

Can I add "You have too many clothes on" and "You're going to like this" (a guy about to give a blow-job to another guy) to the list :-)

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

"You have too many clothes on"

Oh yes.

"You're going to like this" (a guy about to give a blow-job to another guy)

"You're kidding. I'd always heard blow jobs were awful."

(Actually, I gather from one of my discussion boards that a fair number of guys can't come that way. I'd love to see that make it into a story. "You're going to like this." "Probably not as much as you think.")

[eleanorb.livejournal.com]

(Actually, I gather from one of my discussion boards that a fair number of guys can't come that way. I'd love to see that make it into a story. "You're going to like this." "Probably not as much as you think.")

I'm totally fascinated by that comment. I've never heard of any bloke saying that before. I thought it was all down to the skill of the person giving head as to how long it lasted. Fascinating!

[mommybird.livejournal.com]

*applauds the Frohike icon*

Frohike

[(Anonymous)]

Frohike icon? What Frohike icon? I *love* Frohike. Where, where?

xxx, Mog

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Shocked the hell out of me, too, when several of the guys on the board said, basically, "Sure, it's nice, you can do it as long as you want to, but don't expect to hit the jackpot that way." (My own experience had not turned up this fact.)

[amberfox.livejournal.com]

How odd. I did have a man tell me that once, but my own independent research on the matter proved that they just hadn't been doing it right. *smirks and buffs her nails on her chest*

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

My independent research has indeed confirmed the fact. The most sensual man I ever met could not come from oral sex. Not through 5 marriages, innumerable girlfriends or me.

Actually, I've met very few who come strictly from oral stimulation. They have to do some thrusting.

[ursula]

I've observed the first line of dialogue (or the corresponding "I have too many clothes on") rather often in real life-- but it usually stems from a situation in which one person is naked and the other wearing everything but shoes.