Sorry

[resonant]

Everybody's apologizing to characters for all the things they've done. But mostly I feel I need to apologize to characters for the stories I haven't written.



Dear Jim and Blair:

I'm sorry I never managed to write you six weeks of domestic adjustment and no-latex safe sex. I'm sorry I never did that weird PWP where Blair couldn't move either his hands or his mouth. I'm sorry I never wrote the one where Blair wouldn't say "I love you" and Jim wouldn't admit to being bi. I'm sorry I gave the Jim-bugs-the-loft idea to Livia when I knew perfectly well she was too busy to get it done.

I was going to apologize for never writing the one where Blair gets fed up and moves to North Carolina and takes up with a girl named Ashby before Jim comes riding in to win him back, but maybe you're grateful I never got around to that one.


Dear Scott:

Livia and I are both very sorry that we never got around to finding you a nice, normal boyfriend.


Dear Fraser and Ray:

I'm sorry those two PWPs were stillborn. The idea of giving Fraser hypothermia in Florida still tickles me, and I still think it would be possible, if not exactly easy, to write a sexually inhibited Ray. But I probably won't.

I'm sorry that I lost inspiration for making Ray pass as a Canadian, too, especially after Obelix's lovely French lessons. But the RCMP re-enactor dentist people took down their website, so what could I do?


Dear Hermione:

I'm sorry I didn't take better notes on that femslash story I was going to do for you. All I remember now is that it was going to be called "Ligature." If there's actually another three-dimensional female in the novels, drop me a line and tell me who and I'll get right to work, OK?


Dear Krycek and Seven:

I still think you two would have been great together, but since I know practically nothing about either of your shows, I would most likely have embarrassed myself. Still, Seven, sorry for depriving you of the opportunity of hacking into the nation's digital infrastructure and solving the Y2K problem while getting mistaken for a drag queen.


Dear Chon and Roy:

I'm sorry that even with Kass's help I'm not interested enough in your story to make a couple of little minuscule changes and post the stupid thing.


Dear Ender and Bean:

I'm sorry I couldn't manage to get the two of you on the same planet once you were past puberty.

Comments

[tradescant.livejournal.com]

The world needs more Ender slash.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Or any at all, really, before he gets married and goes all self-righteous.

[tinboxed.livejournal.com]

After reading the books, I thought there'd be tons out there.

[somniesperus.livejournal.com]

Dear Resonant,

Oh, it's all right, really -- I'm the only one around at the moment.

Hermione

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Dear Hermione:

I'd like to introduce you to some friends of mine. This is Elinor Dashwood; she thinks she's in love with someone else, but she can't seem to have much of a conversation with him. And this is Lady Sofia Campion. She's your mother's age, I'm afraid, but don't be too quick to judge; I think the two of you will have a lot to say to each other.

Have fun, and let me know if Lavender or Parvati should mysteriously turn into a real person.

Res

[jack-pride.livejournal.com]

I have one question; why "Ashby"?

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

It's a good North Carolina tradition for a girl to get her mother's maiden name as her middle name, and if her first name is boring, she'll often go by the middle. I went to school with a girl named Kendall and a girl named Toy.

Ashby's a family name, and seemed perfect for just the sort of never-shuts-up Southern girl that Blair would end up with. I was very fond of Ashby, actually, and may recycle her for some other story in the future.

[halimede.livejournal.com]

If there's actually another three-dimensional female in the novels, drop me a line and tell me who and I'll get right to work, OK?

But isn't that (one of the) the point(s) of fanfic? To warp fictional space/time (now there's an underexplored slashpairing) so you can have as many dimensions as you want? After all, most of the boys being slashed also mysteriously gain extra dimensions as the slash progresses.

Hermione has had illicit student/teacher affairs with poor old Snape so often, isn't it time she had a fling with, say, McGonagol? Minerva is her favorite teacher in canon after all...