Aaaaand then I hit the Back button

[resonant]

amanuensis1 has just written up a list of "Things That Will Make Me Skip Over Your Story." I can't resist.

1. Foremost in my mind at the moment, as I stagger, reeling, from Sushi's fest story (which I'd really like to read, as I'm sure it's excellent): If it's posted in a light color on black. Sorry. I can't be seeing dark phantoms of your words in front of my eyes for the next hour. (There are sure to be some excellent stories on Walking the Plank, too.)

2. Lucius/anybody. Personal quirk.

3. An author's note that apologizes in advance for ignorance and bad writing. I once read a story with an author's note that said, "You may notice problems with tense consistency, character development, plot development, and story continuity." My response to that is: I know an easy way to see to it that I don't notice any such thing.

4. WIP, unless I personally have observed you, the author, finishing previous WIPs within two months.

5. I'm fond of Harry/Snape, so I'll put up with a certain amount of Conversation and/or Soliliquy Justifying Why It's OK For Us To Have Sex, Even Though You're My Student And You Only Reached the Legal Age Of Consent Day Before Yesterday -- At Midnight. But only if there's at least the same word count of actual sex.

6. Oh, and if one of those Reasons Why It's OK is "He's/I'm not a child. He's/I've never been a child," you lose me.

Comments

[iibnf.livejournal.com]

Glad I'm the not the only one who can't read white on black. It's utterly dazzling. In fact, when I studied website design, that was one of the main 'no nos', in web design for idiots.

[mark356.livejournal.com]

Hey, black on white is very nearly as bad!

Yay for 99CCCC (http://www.mark356.net).

[iibnf.livejournal.com]

Black on white is good on paper, because the light is reflected on it. On a computer, with the light coming out of the white, it's also dazzing. I keep my pages in soft colours, easy on the eye...

Your colours are nice and soft, too.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

My default page display is black on a sort of wheaty color (not too far off from CCCC99.

I admit that a whole page of glowing white isn't pleasant to read, but I'll still take that any day over a whole page of black with the text glowing white. Or, worse yet, yellow or orange or red.

[luthien.livejournal.com]

Oh yes! I was having major head problems last night and really wanted to read a short piece a friend had just posted, but there was no way I could take it in because it was orange-ish-yellow text on black. My brain just packed up and refused to have anything to do with it.

[millefiori.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure if this is bad netiquette, etc. but when I run across something I want to read on a web setup that makes my eyes bleed I cut and paste the text into a word document, then adjust font, size and color to suit. Then I can either print it out or read it from word, and when I'm finished I just close the document without saving.

[luthien.livejournal.com]

This is the logical thing to do. However, last night I was at the end of an entire day of headache-related floaty head and logic was not my strong point. *g*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

*laughs* those last two harry/snape ones remind me of the harry/draco trope of: let's spend exposition time explaining why harry & draco getting together is okay because draco hasn't been bothering harry this year, and he's rather subdued and quiet, and look, he's not even using the word "mudblood" anymore. it's okay, he's not really -mean-, or anything... geh.

the "it's okay because" thing is reallyreallyreally annoying -.-
of course, so is anything that tries to transparently give away the author's take on things >

[cupiscent.livejournal.com]

I'm confused. Isn't half the point of Harry/Snape that it isn't OK? At all. Even slightly. And they're doing it anyway. And they're craving it. And the secrecy is like adrenaline. And...

I'll shut up now.

(I don't know if I could even think of an "It's OK because..." for Harry/Snape.)

[debchan.livejournal.com]

Isn't half the point of Harry/Snape that it isn't OK? At all. Even slightly. And they're doing it anyway. And they're craving it. And the secrecy is like adrenaline. And...

*wibble* No, no, don't stop.

[ntamara.livejournal.com]

I love the icon! And is this your or Amanuensis' list?

:: ntamara rushes off to check ::

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Thanks! darthfox made it for me.

Oh, it's my list. Amanuensis posted her own.

[halimede.livejournal.com]

As for the white on black thing, my browser of choice is Opera, and with it I can switch between *my* preffered colours, and the documents 'actual' colors with one mouseclick (and I'm pretty sure there's a keyboard shortcut for it too, there always is in Opera). I like it, because some other 'milder' colour combo's bother me too. This way I don't have to ask anyone to make their pages easy on my eyes, if something's not comfortable to read, click!

Opera has loads of other really cool features like that (like being able to magnify the page, good for tiny-font pages), but I won't bore you with all of them. Needless to say I have no financial or other personal interests in the company, just in being able to read the pages I surf comfortably. :)

Popping in...

[pogrebin.livejournal.com]

'Lo there-- just thought you might want to know. I recced (http://www.livejournal.com/~pogrebin/4819.html) The Familiar. It was absolutely lovely!

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I saw! Thanks -- I was really pleased that you liked it.

[millefiori.livejournal.com]

Numbers 5 and 6 bug me too, and I think one of the reasons is they're usually plunked into a story as a big lump of "tell" instead of "show".

And the words 'had been' are starting to make me want to scream: 'Voldemort had been defeated last year.' 'Hermione had been made Head Girl.' 'Ron had been appointed Quidditch captain.' Blah blah blah. I encounter this crap in sooooo many stories - luckily, since it's part of 'setting the stage' it tends to happen within the first paragraph or so, giving me opportunity to back out relatively unscathed.

As for Harry/Snape, I'm waiting for the story in which Snape really couldn't care less whether or not Harry (or any other student) is of age and gets on with doing exactly what he wants without one single sliver of guilt. Ahem... maybe I should think about writing something like that.

[evilprettykitty.livejournal.com]

As for Harry/Snape, I'm waiting for the story in which Snape really couldn't care less whether or not Harry (or any other student) is of age and gets on with doing exactly what he wants without one single sliver of guilt.

Dude. Totally...the idea of Snape as this secretly soft-hearted ball of guilt annoys.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

And the words 'had been' are starting to make me want to scream:

Oh yes! Past perfect tense is on my list of "warning signs." (Along with random things like "the word 'indigo'" and "any synonym for nipple.")

My very (least) favorite are the ones that cram that past-perfect exposition dump with the most implausible things imaginable. At first, when Ron had announced that he was in a permanent romantic relationship with Lucius Malfoy and the Giant Squid, his friends had been shocked and appalled. But soon everyone had come to accept their loving though unusual menage, and Draco, who had become Neville's best friend, had taken to calling both Ron and the Giant Squid "my step-cephalopods." Now, leaving Ron and his husbands behind on the beach, Hermione and Professor Flitwick laughed as they sought privacy in the cottage that Hagrid shared with his wife, Ginny Weasley ...

As for Harry/Snape, I'm waiting for the story in which Snape really couldn't care less whether or not Harry (or any other student) is of age and gets on with doing exactly what he wants without one single sliver of guilt.

Really, I think this is one of only two plausible scenarios. (The other one being that Snape won't have anything to do with Harry at all, and if he is attracted, tells no one at all until he's no longer in a position of authority over him.)

[laurakaye.livejournal.com]

Unrelated- Res, you never emailed me the links for the pictures you wanted your icons made from! Could you email me the links or the pictures themselves, if you DLed them?

[aesc.livejournal.com]

3. An author's note that apologizes in advance for ignorance and bad writing. I once read a story with an author's note that said, "You may notice problems with tense consistency, character development, plot development, and story continuity." My response to that is: I know an easy way to see to it that I don't notice any such thing.

You have to say one thing, at least: they were polite enough to warn you =)

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Couldn't let this one go:

2. Lucius/anybody. Personal quirk.

Oh, jjjjooooiiiiiiinnnnn us. You know you have just a little curiosity.

Want/Need by Darkrose. (L/H, hot and dark)

Corpus Delicti by Khirsah. (L/J, ditto)

Je Te Plumerais by Nimori. (L/H, angsty and romantic)

Before You Die by GMTH. (L/H, non-con and evil)

Have You Heard the One About... by Seeker (LM/RL/SS, hilarious)


(see, I didn't even get pretentious and list any of mine!...)


I'll send you liiiiinnnnnkkkkksss... really I will...!

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Nup. Sorry. Can't be tempted.

Evil Lucius is by definition untrustworthy, and by my lights, if there's no trust, there's no turn-on. Redeemed Lucius is out of character. Book Lucius is Percy Weasley with money. Movie Lucius is Snape, if Snape had never been hungry, lonesome, or afraid.

Can't do Lucius in any way, shape, or form. He's my anti-kink.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Well, you've certainly made your case!

(Trust. She wants trust in her smut! Whatever happened to good old-fashioned ravishment...)

Oh, well. At least I can say that if you're not writing Lucius, then those of us who do will have more unused plots to work with..!

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Trust. She wants trust in her smut!

Yeah. [sigh] Consider it a fetish.