Figure 4b: Slasher stereotype pet comparison table

[resonant]

Wow. I really figured introverts would be 99%. What are all you extroverts doing on the computer all alone? Or do you, like, have computer parties where you and all your friends work at the computer together?

Obviously I screwed up all my chances of scientific accuracy by the wording of that "small tattoo" question. There goes the Nobel.

Also, I can see that it's going to be necessary to come up with a single standard measurement for pets, for slasher stereotype purposes. So I've taken the liberty of developing one.

The standard unit of slasher stereotype petness is the Cat, or C. Obviously a domestic feline is equal to one C.

An exchange rate allows us to translate all other pets into units of C.

One rat = 2 C
One mouse = 0.5 C
One reptile of any kind = 4 C
One ferret = 2 C
One rabbit = 1 C
One dog = 0.2 C
One fish (exceptions below) = 0.05 C
One fish (piranha or miniature shark) = 3 C
One carnivorous houseplant = 2 C
One hedgehog = 2 C
One hamster, gerbil, or other preschooler-type pet = 0.25 C
One budgie, parakeet, or other small domestic bird = 0.5 C
One parrot or other talking bird = 2 C
Any non-domesticated animal (e.g. squirrel, toucan, leopard) = 5 C

So those of you who have five dogs, four budgies, or two mice can answer "yes" to the question, "Do you have a cat?" And those of you who have a gecko or a skunk can answer "I have several."

Equivalency ratings for tattoos, piercings, and other forms of body modification I leave to the discretion of the reader.

Comments

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Well, there you get into the part of the exercise that can't be done mechanistically -- the art, rather than the science, of Cat equivalency.

For instance: Are any of the dogs named after media characters?

If so, did you take into account existing romances/friendships among the dogs when you named them?

Have any of them been trained to do tricks beyond the standard Sit, Stay, Roll Over, Play Dead? ("Rover! Ray-gun attack, Rover!")

Do any of them watch TV?

[norah.livejournal.com]

Oooh, tough.

One's named after a character in a book, one after a goddess. The third was going to be named after a jazz singer but she came with a name she already answered to.

Two of them match like twins. The other has kohl-lined eyes and one ear up and one floppy ear. They bark at the dogs on TV.

They don't do any delightful tricks, but they have lots of bad habits. I should think that would be worth the equivalent of at least a small and somewhat scruffy cat.

Also please factor in that I had always had two cats until I got engaged to someone who is violently allergic. And they were named after cartoon characters, jazz singers, and characters in books.