Smut that's not boring

[resonant]

How about this? Instead of talking about smut I don't like, how about if I follow lobelia321's example and talk about smut I do like?

In the comments on Lobelia's post, there's a thread on something that's dear to my heart: dirty talk.

I adore dirty talk, when it's done well. I don't like insults, and I've already ranted at length to various people about how I hate to read guys calling each other "slut," but aside from that, I love sex with a lot of talking.



I have a terrible weakness for people fervently whispering, "Anything."

I like questions. Does it feel good? Did you imagine this? Are you going to come?

I like commands. Show me. Suck me. Don't come. Somewhere way back in the depths of time I read a story that included the command, "Keep it hard for me," and I don't remember the story or the fandom, but god do I remember the line.

I like it when characters get so far gone that things come spilling out of their mouths that they'd never say in the cold light of day. It's a tightrope, writing that and making people believe it, especially for a reticent character like Snape. But when it works, it really works.

Oh, and begging. Do I ever love begging.

The writers whose dirty talk is most consistently to my taste are Te and Fabula Rasa, but I have lots of other favorites. (Some of this is going to be much less sexy out of context, of course. Which is why I'm linking to the stories.)

This is from Apologia by Te:

"Lex, I... how do you want me to touch you?"

"Clark. *Fuck*. Just..." Closes his eyes. "Just do whatever you *want*."

and later:

"Lex... Lex, you feel so good. Tell me how I can make this better for you?"

Breathless laugh. "I can't... I can't do that oh... God, please don't stop again --"

This is from Fabula Rasa's Cordelictus:

"I was just coming in here to apologise."

"Were you now. Let's see if I can't make you more comfortable." He snaked a hand between them and rubbed the hardness he found.

"Oh, fuck. . .  Severus, stop, you're going to make me come. . . oh God please, just do it--"

and from Dolo Delectare:

"No. What you said before - you called me - before - my name - "

and later:

"Keep your eyes open, Snape. Let me watch you - let me see you come - yeah, that's it - oh yes - " His control slipped. "Severus. Can't - " He closed a clumsy hand around Snape's cock and squeezed.

"Ah - ah - " The orgasm wrenched Snape's spine, and curled him up to meet the arms that caught him, the mouth that whispered in his ear, prolonging his orgasm.

"So hot like this, you are so fucking hot, fuck yes, come for me, come on me, that's it, that's it, yes - "

And short but oh so sweet, from Rats' Alley:

"Please, I want to come with you in me."

Ellen Fremedon's "Slowly But Exceeding Fine" has some lovely, articulate dirty talk:

"This is what I fantasized about," he said at last, voice very low and even. "You, in my bed, well-fucked and wanting more, and knowing I had made you scream and I could do it again."

and later:

"Let me feel your tongue in my mouth again." I twisted my hands in Snape's hair and pulled his head down. "Let me feel you everywhere."

Flora Hart does marvelous sexy incoherency. Here's something from her untitled birthday present for Mousapelli:

“Oh, yes. Yes, just. Pull your. Oh. Can I, ah, can I stroke. Circe.”

and this is from "Dangers and Opportunities:

“Yes, okay. Please. Oh, and that. Is. Uh.” Harry trailed off and bit his lip again as Neville stroked with warm hands and returned to his former position.

And then, Harry surprised him. “Do you know how much I’ve wanted this? Do you?” His fingers curled convulsively in Neville’s peripheral vision. “How much I want to grab your hair and press into you and fuck your mouth? How much, oh, fuck that’s good, how much I’ve wanted, ah. To crawl into your bed? How much I’ve wanted you to slick up your cock and drive it into me? Will you? Later? Will you?”

Neville sucked hard, hollowing his cheeks, and looked up at Harry, who was looking down at him now, eyes dark and questioning. Neville nodded, pulled away, kept licking the underside of Harry’s cock as he answered, “Oh, I will.”
“Will you? Fuck me until I can’t breathe? Until I forget my name? I want you to,” Harry did grab Neville’s hair now, did push into his mouth, did thrust in hard, babbling. “Want you to. Want you to fuckin’ come in me. Want you. Oh.” and Neville sucked harder and swallowed and tasted the bitter-warm rush of come on the back of his tongue.

And a lovely final bit of command from Thamiris' "Boxed":

"Wait. Put it in my mouth. Please. Let me suck it. Then you can fuck me."

It was such hard work re-reading all these stories in search of quotes. You should all be so grateful to me for the way I suffer for you. Or you should post your own favorite quotes.

Comments

[destina.livejournal.com]

You know, I love dirty talk when it's done well, too. When it's done *well*. Most of the time, it isn't. Which is why one man's feast is another man's poison. Really, I'd rather the characters just shut up and fuck, most of the time -- at least in my chosen fandom -- because some writers really don't get the fact that 'taciturn in daily life' is not a coded signal that means a character is a babblemouth in bed. *sigh*

[mz-bstone.livejournal.com]

this snarl made me giggle. i'm not sure why.

It's funny, the most charged phrase I ever read of talking in bed was from Shallott's Objectives, where Daniel: "whispered urgently, "Can I come in you?""

Four words that make me go. "whoa."

B

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Mm. Of course, that demonstrates the importance of the perfectly chosen verb and adverb, too.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean. It's a big risk for a writer, because when it doesn't work, it's painful.

But guys like that -- the Strong-Silent slash archetype, can do as much for me with one gasp-whispered "Yes!" as your Blair Sandburg types can do with an entire erotic sonnet with epigraph and footnotes.

[amberfox.livejournal.com]

*whimpers and adds to memories*

[giglet.livejournal.com]

You inspire me! But you knew that already.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Good! My new goal is to increase the net amount of good smut in the universe.

[byandby.livejournal.com]

Oh dear, dirty talk. I love it, too. Here's one of my favorites.

All three are from Quill and Ink (http://www.glassesreflect.net/hother17/quillink.html) by Cybele

"How do you want me?" Harry asked breathlessly.

"Screaming," Snape responded coolly, walking toward him. "Begging for mercy," he added, sliding his robes off his shoulders, letting them fall to the floor. "Broken," he finished, standing before Harry in a white high-collared shirt and loose black trousers. Snape leaned down to lick the length of Harry’s neck.

Harry closed his eyes and gasped. "Oh god."

and

"Is this what you want, Potter?" Snape jeered, wiggling his hips.

"Yes, sir. Please," Harry whined.

I love the use of "sir" in dirty talk.

When he heard Snape growl, "Goddammit. Come. Now." Harry couldn't help but obey.

Like you said, commands.

Geez, I love dirty talk. Especially with Snape.

@anteco & @Resonant

[skuf.livejournal.com]

Oh, that "How do you want me?" quote is still some of the best writing in fandom as far as I'm concerned - I think my jaw hit the desk the first time I read it, I couldn't believe how well-written that was...

And @Resonant here, too, to save making two entries: dirty talk is the best - I'm trying to convince painless_j to make a themed list on fics with much dirty talk :oD

I don't have time to re-read my fave fics for quotes, but I'll just once again lament the loss of link to the H/D rim-fic, which was posted somewhere on lj not 5 weeks ago, that had much, much yummy talk in it... :o(

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Oh, god, yes. I still remember that "How do you want me?" "Screaming."

If Painless wants to do a dirty-talk list, I'll certainly volunteer to help her with research. Though it's kind of subjective -- whether you're listing stories with a high quantity of dirty talk or a high quality.

[painless-j.livejournal.com]

I would but it's difficult. You see, half of the quotes you used made me whimper, the other half - just a raised eyebrow. It's not my kink (although I enjoy some dirty talks in fic), so I'll need help with definitions/ conditions, and more so with the initial list. I really don't remember them after reading.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

There's no accounting for kinks.

I'm really not sure it can be done in a comprehensive way, because "dirty talk" is just not an easily defined element, like "childhood" or "marriage" or whatever.

[laurelwood.livejournal.com]

I think if I had thought to compile a list of my favorite dirty talk, fabularasa's work would probably make up three quarters of it. She's a master at it.

I did start compiling a list of my favorite "sexy stuff that's said before the clothes even come off" quotes; I wish I could find that file now.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Ooh, that would be lovely. That kind of talking is harder to do, because you don't have the pre-orgasm lowering-of-inhibitions working for you.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Yeah -- I'm very sensitive to that, because I myself have difficulty saying "fuck" out loud, though you'd never know it from my written voice.

Someone like Fraser is very tricky, both because his vocabulary is probably heavy on Latinate medical terms and light on the more lighthearted sorts of sexual slang, and because he often deploys his articulateness as a barrier to intimacy.

If Snape is half as precise, vivid and voluble in sex as he is in insults ... damn.

[askmehow.livejournal.com]

With regards to Fraser, that's exactly how I would see it. He isn't reserved, but he does become hyper-articulate when he feels uncomfortable to deflect attention from the issue at hand.

As for Snape, I couldn't agree more with your analysis, though again there is the matter of writing plausible dirty talk. Some of the things that fic writers make Snape say in bed have caused me more amusement than their attempts at comedy!

Slightly off-topic: how goes the writing on the Snape/Harry fic? I've been re-reading your email, and my (admittedly incoherent) thoughts will be with you by tomorrow.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Er, I haven't worked on it much, really. Just setting it aside and letting it ripen. But I'll look forward to seeing your thoughts!

[reginagiraffe]

I read a story that included the command, "Keep it hard for me,"

Um, here you go.

*embarrassed that she knew exactly where to find this*

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, there are two of them?! Because I've always loved this story, but it's not the one I had in mind.

In the story I'm thinking of, I'm fairly certain that line was spoken by Tuvok, which will tell you something about (1) how long ago it was and also (2) how much characterization was being sacrificed for the hotness of it.

[darthfox.livejournal.com]

[raises broom in salute to resonant8 herself]

(you should know, incidentally, that i've been drinkign. why i chose to look at mr flist before i went to bed will have to rmeain a mystery. but it was mearagrrl's birthday, or it will be on sunday, so how could i not party? naanyway.)

yuou talk about sexy incoherency, my lass, and are too modest to point out your own stuff, all of which is TOP NOTCH, but let me tell you what i kept coming back to over and over again in transfigurations (http://trickster.org/res/transfig.html):

"I like these," Harry said some time later. He was propped on his elbows again, lying between Malfoy's spread legs, stroking Malfoy's cock through the odd underdrawers -- left thumb, right thumb, left thumb, right thumb. "Nice and soft. What're they made of?"

"Mm -- mm. Muslin," Malfoy said. "Oh. Take. Take them off me."

it's damned hard to write Breathless without it sounding downright stupid, and i bet you don't agree (or possibly even realize) that you're AWFULLY good a t it, but you are. [nods]

[goes to bed]

(hero worship icon fr you!)

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

[beaming at drunken Fox]

It's always fun when one person is relatively calm and articulate, and the other is on the verge of babble.

I don't write a lot of dirty talk -- at least I don't think I do. No, wait -- I write a lot of it in first draft and then cut it when I type the story in. It's very difficult to write my own kinks, because I don't know when to stop, and eventually it gets dull even to me.

[ceilidh]

Mmmhmm. Oh yes - fabularasa does great dirty talk... and Snape and Sirius are especially suited for it, I think. Some characters seem more prone to it than others - like I could see Harry, Ron, maybe Ginny, Sirius, Snape, maybe Remus, depending... but I couldn't see Hermione or Luna doing it (maybe I just haven't read the right fic!). Oh, when it's done well... *whimpers*

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I don't actually see canon Sirius being that articulate -- one of the many reasons I prefer Fabula's Sirius to JKR's.

Now, I can see Luna being very talkative in bed, but in her own inimitably odd way. "Mm, yes, very nice. The dwarf chupacabras of Puerto Rico do something similar, did you know that? -- but of course the effect is totally different in mid-air. And they have tails. Did you ever wish you had a tail during sex? Another prehensile limb could come in very useful ..."

Hermione would be either very sexy or very annoying with the instructions. I've got a trio story in progress where she's saying to Ron, "Now bend your finger a little, yes, the book says he'll like that a lot."

Remus I see as rather repressed -- highly articulate but not much for asking for what he wants, and rather silent during sex. It would be a lovely challenge for someone to get him hot enough, and keep him that way long enough, that he'd get past his inhibitions and actually talk about what things feel like. He'd be an interesting subject for the "I'll do anything you ask, but you have to ask" treatment, I think.

[kashiichan.livejournal.com]

I've got a trio story in progress where she's saying to Ron, "Now bend your finger a little, yes, the book says he'll like that a lot."
Um, I don't suppose that I could get a link to that fic? :D

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Alas, my Harry Potter muse left me before I could do any more with that story than, um, pretty much just that one line. Sorry!

[kashiichan.livejournal.com]

Aw. Oh well. xD

[rowanfairchild.livejournal.com]

Ah, now this is much better. *g*

I don't know that I'd say I like a lot of talking during sex, but man, when a scene is punctuated in the right places with appropriate orders/pleas/demands ... yeah, that works.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Depends on the characters, of course, and the situation.

I think one of the things I like about dirty talk is that it requires a certain breaking of inhibition -- which means either a really high level of arousal or a really high level of trust, or both.

[ellen-fremedon.livejournal.com]

My favorite fabularasa story for dirty talk has got to be http://fabularasa.arithmancy.net/repechage.html (Repechage). Practically every single line is just... guh.

One quote, since if I start trying to list more I'll cut-and-paste the entire story:

"You're going to have to stop now," he said through gritted teeth, marveling at his use of a complete sentence.

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to come in your mouth in about three seconds." Just saying the words pushed him that much closer to the edge, and he felt a tightening at the base of his cock.

"Wouldn't you like that? Coming in my mouth?"

"I-" Sirius swallowed a groan at the effort not to grip Snape's head and tilt it back, holding it steady while he buried himself in it. "I don't think that's what you want."

"You're very certain about what I want tonight, aren't you?"

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Oh, god, Repechage. I try not to re-read it too often so it won't lose impact, but it doesn't matter much because I've got most of it memorized anyway.

a couple long, hot bits

[simplelyric.livejournal.com]

From Kel's "Grundy County Auction" (http://smallville.slashdom.com/archive/7/grundycounty.html):

Lex caught the glimmer in Clark's eye. "No, you want me to talk dirty to you, don't you?" Lex asked softly. "You want me to talk about my cock fucking your pretty little ass. You want me to tell you how I'm going to twist your pert nipples until you cry out, how I'm going to jack you off while my cock is sliding in and out of your ass." Lex opened the fly of Clark's slacks and pushed the thin fabric of his boxers aside to free his cock. He wrapped his hand tightly around the hard shaft, fisting it roughly as he continued talking. "Maybe you want to hear about me rimming you, which means I'll shove my tongue up your ass, sucking and kissing that tight little hole until you beg me to let you come." He listened to the whimpers that came from Clark's throat as the young man bit down on his hand to keep from crying out too loudly.

And from Grail's "Local Call" (http://smallville.slashdom.com/archive/6/localcall.html):

"I." Clark slides his hand higher. Closes his eyes so that for a moment the fingers on his thigh aren't his. "I want you to -- to touch me."

"Everywhere," Lex agrees. "God, everywhere. Your skin's always so warm."

Tight jeans are edging towards something like torturous. Clark tries: "And. Your...tongue."

"Tell me." Too-glib remark about Lex sounding like phone sex, but, god, what they could make selling the rough cant of his voice on a street corner.

Clark's teeth close out a moan. "I...I want..."

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Second one is very guh for me.

First one not so much -- I mean, I can totally buy that Lex would say something like that; I can buy Lex saying almost anything. But for some reason it doesn't excite me to hear him saying it. Maybe because it seems to me there's a sort of aggressive undercurrent there?

[simplelyric.livejournal.com]

I hadn't really thought of it that way, although now I can see what you mean. The rest of the context there helps, but now you do have me wondering whether or not that attitude quite fits the scene. Hmm. (To be honest, it's been a while since I read the story in its entirety; I just remember the sex as seeming hot to me.)

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

Guh.

I've never read many of these. Rest assured that now I shall. *g*

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Have a nice month!

please, sir: I want some more!

[janaan-ya.livejournal.com]

Somewhere, someone must have SeanaRenay's story "Addiction". She doesn't post it anymore, and that's a shame, because it is just what is described so well in this essay and these commments.
During filming. Elijah smokes. Dom makes him. In both senses of the word. Non-con masturbatory sex, and addiction.
The two lines that never leave me are: "Dom, don't-I promised Wardrobe..."
and "'Smoke,' said Dom." (That being the last line, and a chillier one may never have been written.
I know it was in a newsletter at one point when slash was more a list thing than sites, and someone must have it, or can persuade her to turn it loose again.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Not my kink, but sounds very effective.

Re: please, sir: I want some more!

[eileenlufkin.livejournal.com]

http://www.digitalcandy.net/users/shaenie/disclaimer.html

This is the Disclaimer page, "Addiction" is the 2nd one down on the fiction page.

Re: please, sir: I want some more!

[janaan-ya.livejournal.com]

oh, thank you! even with the bits I got wrong you knew which story and where. and my apologies to shaenie AND seana, and to Dom, AND to resonant, and my thanks to, because this is just some of the best writing, whatever the kink.

[raucousraven.livejournal.com]

Um. *combusts*

That PING you heard was my kinkometer being quite resoundingly certain it had found the motherlode. I love my articulate snark monsters, so when they're so hot they can't form phrases, I'm a happy reader. To wit: Repechage, oh yes indeed. No one brings the grit-teethed good like Fabula, although I'm hoping this list will change my mind. That "rough cant" line may just pull me into Clex. *goes willingly*

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

If you like dirty talk, Smallville is a terrific fandom. Lex is audacious and uninhibited and has a very good vocabulary.

[eileenlufkin.livejournal.com]

The last line is the one that really gets me, but I'm pretty sure it needs the proceeding paragraph to make its full impact.

"Oh, God," Lex moans, feeling hapless and dizzy, like Chloe after her ride on the Clark Kent roller coaster. "Clark. I don't even know, I don't have the words. Fuck. You're incredible." One of Clark's legs is between his, and Lex settles in and drags his erection hard against one long denim-clad thigh. Tosses his head back at the sweet burn. Clark's hands fumble at his face, flutter at his shoulders. Not just brushing against him but gripping him now, occasionally. Just brief flexes of those fingers like steel, but still. Better. "Oh, yeah. Jesus. Clark, just like that... your hands, Christ that's good. Uh. By the way," Lex grinds out, eyes closed, "I tend to talk a lot. In bed. In the past, that's sometimes been considered a bit annoying--"

"Huh?" Clark gasps. "No. No. God, Lex, your voice..."

by Livia

http://www.debchan.com/livia/smallville/twenty-one.htm

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Oh, I remember that one! I always loved that story.

[norah.livejournal.com]

Er, and if you like dirty talk, about half my recs shoudl do you. Not this last set, necessarily, but in general...oh, yes.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

*sigh* It still doesn't get me - destina said it for me up there. Currently, sex talk throws me more than anything.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Depends on how it's done. Like a lot of things, it walks a thin line between kink and squick for me -- but when it's right, very few things are as right.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

I didn't notice it in the stories of yours I liked, so it must have been right ;)

*squints* ice-cream cone and hand and arm - but female torso behind that? And knees in front? Are there two people in your vanilla icon?

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

No, it's one person -- one sculpture, actually -- in a weird foreshortened shot. She's half-reclining, and the camera is shooting up her body from knee level. (Plus I fuzzed it out behind the text.)