Even stranger than real fandom

[resonant]

I dreamed I was a character in a crossover threesome by paian.



I played myself, dumpling-shaped unpublished authors from Bovine Middle America being the failsafe crowd-pleasers that we are. The other characters were Sirius Black and someone who incorporated characteristics of both Daniel Jackson and Jack O'Neill.

Sirius had been in deep hiding for some time when Daniel/Jack figured out where to find him (using folkloric sources, of course), and the two of us went to track him down in some sort of abandoned fountain. He was feral and terrifying as a dog, and even worse as a human, but we got him home and cleaned up, and then Daniel/Jack presented his plan, which was for Sirius to impregnate me. For reasons which would no doubt have been cleared up in a second draft, this required all three of us to have sex, after which we would all go into hiding separately and take our lives into our hands every day.

It was profoundly angsty, but in a matter-of-fact, grown-up way, naturally. There was an excellent reason for us to do what we were doing -- for me to get pregnant and earn the attention of all sorts of scary types, for Daniel/Jack to go into hiding to deflect attention away from me, for Sirius to father a child he would probably never see and double the number of evil influences he had to hide from, for the three of us to make this connection and then part, probably forever.

I have the feeling that the three of us -- the three couples we made -- had some sort of pre-existing emotional involvement, something complicated, hard-won, and easily unbalanced; otherwise I can't really account for the level of emotion that saturated every move we made. The sex was excellent. The parting was difficult.

And after that there was a long digression involving trying to make sure the cat-sitter would keep the garden watered, so let's just leave it at that.

Comments

[eliade.livejournal.com]

I love dreams like that. That's awesome. I'm so glad the sex was great, too. *g*

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Well, the weird thing was that it was narratively great sex. A lot was left out -- just like in a well-written sex scene, the really necessary details were there, but it didn't exactly unfold in real time.

In fact, even though I was in the dream, the pleasure I got from it was like the pleasure I get from reading paian's stories, not like the pleasure one would get from actually experiencing something like that.

[thermidor.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's very cool.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I try to keep the dream posts either short or cut-tagged, because people who don't like reading that kind of stuff really don't like reading that kind of stuff. But it was cool.

[shetiger.livejournal.com]

*dies*

You know, I would have gotten totally hung up on the cat situation too. *g*

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Hee! Glad it's not just me.

failsafe crowd-pleaser

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

I even envy you your dreams *badmebadme* although veil/stargate is nearly the same thing anyway. So what did Sirius look like then?

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Huh, that's an interesting thought about the veil.

Sirius, once he was cleaned up, looked like an anime character -- pointed chin, big eyes, lots of long black hair, pretty but also dangerously intense.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

He will return *nod* Rodney might get him out

Mmmmh, yummy.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

> Rodney might get him out

Ooh. Nice crossover thought!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ... would Rodney want to keep him though? And John and Remus team up to prevent him from that?

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

John. And Remus. Remus and John. Remus. John. Hairy men in hairy embraces ...

I'll just be over here staring out the window and whimpering with longing.

You are a bear lover?!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

*ggggggg*


*ggg*



And: nooooo! Not with the hairy! Reasons 01 and 02 Why I Don't Like Joe Flanigan aka. John Sheppard!

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I guess I am. I didn't used to be, and then I married a hairy guy, and over time my preferences changed to be what he is.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

Understandable.
I am just currently v.v. stuck coz I didnae fancy my father and to now see guys I fancy have the 40yr olds hairyness I remember from him - euch. You know. I think I once wanted a dog, but I later got a cat and now ... yes. It is sort of the same, what!

[carolyn-claire.livejournal.com]

I dreamed last night that I was in school, again--college, I suppose, but it looked a lot like my old Junior High--and, during one of my classes, a member of The Monkees walked in. I think it was supposed to be Mickey, but he looked more like Peter. Anywho, he was in his 40s/50s and quite egoriffic, eyeing the attractive young ladies in a self-important, cheesy way, but then he found himself irrresistibly drawn to me, for I was svelte and lovely and obviously a woman of the world (and obviously not my RL 43, though there was moment when I met up with my nearly-grown daughters in the school lobby, so I must have been a child bride, I suppose.) I wasn't star-struck or impressed with him the way the younger girls were, which added to my allure. (Because, of course, today's college women are so into aging pop has-beens.) He followed me from the room, and there was the usual school-dream difficulty with opening my locker, and the trouble I had remembering my combination was so flustering to me that I felt it necessary to lead him to believe I was foreign and to speak with an accent. He found this entrancing, and continued with the smarmy come-on. I let him know I was married, to his disappointment, but then started dropping (untrue) hints, accompanied by mysterious smiles, that I might be interested in offing my husband, just to see if he'd rise to the bait. And then I woke up.

It was a deeply stupid dream, remarkable for not much beyond how intensely I experienced it. It was vivid, every image and feeling, and I felt powerful and dangerous all through it. I had to lay there and recover from it from a few moments before I could get up. Disturbing. Not as disturbing as if I'd had sex with him so that he could impregnate me and then skulk away, of course. Overall, I'd much rather have had a three-way with your characters than this weird pseudo-flirtation with mine. I'm rather disappointed in myself. Especially since SGA didn't filter even obliquely into the dream, as it has been doing. *sigh*

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

This is so funny! because I have dreams like that, where I'm doing stupid things to get something and at the same time saying to myself, "Why the hell am I doing this? I don't even want this."

I haven't had any SGA dreams lately, that I remember. It's a shame; I'd enjoy that, I think.

The weirdest part of this dream was how literary it was -- I wasn't just in a story, I was in a paian story, and the things I was noticing were the things you notice in a story you like. ("Wow, the angst level is just exactly where it needs to be, heart-wrenching without going to far and destroying all plausibility ... wow, this is really a problem that there's no other way out of, isn't it? ... wow, that's some nicely imagined sex there.")

I meant to say...

[carolyn-claire.livejournal.com]

...that this is actually very cool--a writer's mind at subconscious play. Funny that you, yourself, weren't the designated author of your dream, though--you were more the 'reader', critiquing as you went. Would that be a reader's mind at subconscious play, then? My sister had a dream once that was big and bold and vivid, and then credits actually rolled by at the end. I love that. *g*

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I actually once had a dream where I didn't like the way it was going, so I ran it backwards to get back to a spot where I could make a different decision.

you were more the 'reader', critiquing as you went. Would that be a reader's mind at subconscious play, then?

Yeah, exactly -- because reading's play, but writing's work!

[istima.livejournal.com]

I wanna have a dream about three people as a couple, too. I wish I can see three-couple-marriage when I'm old.

[istima.livejournal.com]

Eh, that would be triple-marriage, wouldn't it. That just sounds like pregnancy. (mutters)

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I love long-term three-way relationships in fiction. In real life I think they'd be incredibly difficult. I mean, think about how many het marriages fail -- and that's with the support of the rest of society!

[paian]

Such excellent dreamage!

Just to show how recursive things can get, this ...

I have the feeling that the three of us -- the three couples we made -- had some sort of pre-existing emotional involvement, something complicated, hard-won, and easily unbalanced; otherwise I can't really account for the level of emotion that saturated every move we made. The sex was excellent. The parting was difficult.

... is beautifully said and oddly moving. Seriously. How weird is that? I feel like I've read an intriguing and affecting flashfic.

Love it. Please thank you brain for me. *g*

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Hee! It was very moving in my head while I was asleep.

Like -- Sirius here was like someone you were deeply, profoundly in love with when you were very young, but he was reckless and unstable and unreliable and immature, and he brought out the absolute worst in you, made you needy and demanding and whiny and keep-a-record-of-wrongs-y, and after putting each other through hell for a very long time, you had an enormous fight, and objects were broken and things were flung out on the lawn and things were said that could never ever be un-said, and your whole community of friends was forced to take sides, because after that, if one of you was invited to a party, then the other one wouldn't go, and if one of you heard the other's name, you'd stalk out in tears or fury ... and then years went by and you missed each other with an almost physical ache, because you'd started out as friends, and all along you'd sometimes been friends, and that was years of your history, years of loving this person in spite of everything, and so eventually, very carefully, the two of you started putting together a fragile friendship out of the wreckage of that great love affair ...

And Daniel/Jack was like someone who has always loved you, and you always knew he loved you, and therefore he wasn't exciting like Sirius. But he was one of those friends who was always, always there for you, who got you through some of the most traumatic moments of your life, who was never needy and demanding. And he was always so desperately lonely; everybody knew that about him, and there were periods where your whole group of friends was all working on the project of "find true love for Daniel/Jack," but somehow it never took, the people you picked for him hurt him just as badly as the people he picked for himself. And you always suspected that part of the problem was that he was hung up on you, and of course though no one would say this it was also generally understood that he was hung up on Sirius, and you hadn't been above sleeping with him a time or two when you really needed comfort, and you're sure Sirius couldn't possibly have had more restraint than you did ...

And between Sirius and Daniel/Jack there was this thing that you sometimes get between two male friends, one of whom is irresponsible, lost, and about 95% straight, and the other of whom is responsible, lonesome, and about 75% gay (but quite conflicted about that, and also tending always to compare all other men to Sirius and find them wanting), which is compounded of genuine affection but also of curiosity on one side and a terrible hopeless longing on the other side ...

And then imagine that the three of you are mature adults, and have managed to make quite sensible vows not to sleep with one another or to fall in love with one another, but to be (carefully) friends just the same. And by now you're older and more mature, and Daniel/Jack is looking better and better to you, while Sirius is not quite as appealing as he once was -- and Sirius is seeing this same thing in Daniel/Jack, too, and beginning to see what he's missed. But the two of you have sufficiently messed Daniel/Jack up that you're not sure he's capable of trusting you, and anyway you're fairly certain you're not worthy of his trust anyway.

And then into this mix comes some sort of folkloric prophecy that requires you to have sex, conceive a baby, and disappear from each other's lives forever.

Man, this inspires me to ever-increasing feats of irrelevant nattering, but, um, it was intense. Yes.

[paian]

Wow. Wow wow. And now I'm sitting here wanting a happy ending for these characters. In someone else's dream.

Well, actually that sounds like fandom. The recursion continues. :-)