The grubs at home are much tastier

[resonant]

I accidentally performed a personality test today.

I'm signing the kidlet up for a summer dance class, and so I have the Ballet Mommies on my mind, and I found myself discussing the Ballet Mommies to both my haircutter and my buddy Magenta.

Now, let me describe the Ballet Mommies to you in pretty much the same way I described them today.

The Ballet Mommies mostly aren't employed. They mostly have at least two kids under 8, and many of them have three or four. Mostly, from eavesdropping on their conversations, I gather that their social lives revolve around church and the ballet. Oh, and scrapbooking.

When they plan things, they make them horribly complicated, so that tasks that ought to be small spread out over weeks. They're perfectly willing to pay tuition and buy regular ballet clothes and buy multiple costumes for the annual recital and spend hours doing fundraising for the ballet.

They take ballet for their kids waaaaay too seriously, to the point of choosing their six-year-old's hairdo based on what's appropriate for a little ballerina. (No bangs, please!) A Ballet Mommy will bring her six-year-old to a dress rehearsal in full pageant makeup, which is a sight that turns my stomach, I must admit.

So. Basically I look at the Ballet Mommies and I think, "These people are annoying because they're bored and they have no imagination."

The hairdresser says, "Oh, they're so annoying, those rich snooty people!"

And Magenta says, "Oh, they're so annoying, those religious fanatics!"

Comments

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

They're bored with too much time, too much money, and a religion that says they can't work. Therefore they make everything complicated so they can be occupied.

Read The Feminine Mystique and marvel at how far we haven't come.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

[nodding sadly]

Plus they're in a subculture that values girlishness in women, which means that meanies like me sneer at them.

[vickita.livejournal.com]

And because it's always all about me, my kneejerk response would be, "If you ever see me doing something like that, please shoot me right between the eyes."

*g*

Scrapbooking. ::shudder::

[j00j.livejournal.com]

Ice Skating Mommies seem to be a similar species, most of them. I remember being a wee ice skating kidlet and finding them quite odd, compared to my nice, normal English Ph.D. librarian mommy.
Of course, now that I am a grown up anthropology geek, I find all of them fascinating.

[zoerayne]

Hee.

I live in a neighborhood of Ballet Mommies. My son's elementary school is a terrifying sight to behold on days when the parents are expected to participate...all that pastel, for one thing. *g* I think I scare them, with my piercings and my Doc Martens and my spiky hair.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

Hm.

This comes at the second day in my whole life I ever wanted to also be married and have someone else earn the money. I am serious here.
Maybe you should keep describing those women for me.
Please.

So, is Magenta right?

[reedfem.livejournal.com]

My neighborhood is full of 'em too.

::hopes I'm not one::

They dress up like they are going to church to go help out in the school classrooms. I show up with no makeup, shorts and Tevas. Scrapbooking? Yepper... they support 4 or 5 scrapbooking specific shops in the area. Never tried it myself, although I'm crafty in other ways. But not obsessively so. And my god, their houses... Martha Stewart would feel intimidated. Me, I'm knee deep in bunny poop and peanut butter. And everyone else's kids....

Sports moms are the ones who really scare me though. Gymnastics moms (while both my kids take gymnastics I don't count myself among them) yell "constructive" criticism to their kids on the gym floor (one lady makes her kid cry on a regular basis), say mean things to the coaches and talk bad about each other constantly. We have one soccer mom who isn't allowed to get out of her car at the games anymore, she was that abusive.

I wonder if your hairdresser has some as clients and gets stiffed on her tips?

[thisisbone.livejournal.com]

I live in an area chock-full of what we call "Bowhead Mommies" -- the ones who hand-smock the ankle-length dresses for girls and then put bows the size of the kids' heads on them. And then bring the kids to Little Gym, for an hour of running, climbing, and jumping. ::smacking forehead::

I do something that makes my non-kid friends crazy -- I buy stuff, then take it home to try on, instead of trying it on at the store. I do this because: 1) It's almost impossible to try stuff on either me or the kid in a store and 2) The return trip gets me out of the house again. It's a destination, a goal, a task to shape my day around. Sad, but true.

In defense of scrapbooking, I've found it to be as much of a creative outlet as writing ever was; I even get the same little rush from it. I've met some people I don't like while doing it, but I've also made a couple of great friends with very similar political and religious views. I've even met another fannish person scrapbooking, so we crop and chat about TV. :)

Kids really do change fast, and I think I'll always be glad I spent the time, money and effort capturing and recording my kid's early years in scrapbooks.

[evilprettykitty.livejournal.com]

Heh! I know several parents (two moms and one dad) who totally do the buy and take home to try on bit for the return trip. They like having that reason to leave the house.

[imkalena.livejournal.com]

I've done that for The LB many times, and some days even for myself.

[giglet.livejournal.com]

I buy stuff, then take it home to try on, instead of trying it on at the store. I do this because: 1) It's almost impossible to try stuff on either me or the kid in a store and 2) The return trip gets me out of the house again.

Will you shop for my entire family?

I hate shopping for clothes and I absolutely hate entering a clothing store. My child hates shopping for clothes -- but is remarkably particular about what he likes and dislikes. My husband doesn't mind, but is remarkably bad at shopping for clothes. Most of our clothes are from yard sales and thrift stores, and they caught our eyes as we were heading over to look at books. So most of the time we look like we're dressed from yard sales, which doesn't go over so well with the local version of the Ballet Moms.

[thisisbone.livejournal.com]

Most of our clothes are from yard sales and thrift stores

I dress my kid (age "three but almost four") almost exclusively in clothes from consignment sales. The girl can wear out some clothes, so why spend $100 on an outfit from Gymboree when I can get good sturdy Baby Gap shirts circa 2001 for $2 each? I don't know about other people's kids, but with mine, quantity is the key, and I don't have the bucks to shell out for whatever's "in" for toddlers this season. ;)

[mecurtin.livejournal.com]

I got my kids used to consignment shops young, so now my teenager thinks they are the *coolest* places to shop. Compared to dept stores or the mall, a consignment shop has a lot more choices for a given size because each garment is different, instead of there being a whole rack all the same. So she actually can develop an individual style that's *individual*, instead of the same individual style everyone else has.

Her younger sister is more fashion-conscious, but at least she starts with an enormous pile of hand-me-downs, which reduces the costs considerably.

[mzcalypso.livejournal.com]

Ah, the "I Made This Child and It Is an Extension of My Ego" mommies.

There's nothing I can say about the species that wouldn't sound cruel and judgemental, because I suppose the selfish bitches are doing the best they can, but they should stick with dogs instead of little human beings.

Stuffed dogs, that is. Or maybe garden clubs, where they can rip up the imperfect daffodil seedlings without causing pain.

Stage mommies and daddies are, IMO, a particularly loathesome species of pimp.

The scrapbook-making? Depends on what you're doing it for: is it a trophy case of ego-extension triumphs, or a book of memories to share with loved ones...?

[theodosia.livejournal.com]

A friend of mine scrapbooks, but it's mostly to collect the artwork her kids bring home from school that have hung on the refrigerator too long. :-)

[indywind]

I am moved to share this story from an acquaintance, the perfectly sensible mother of a little girl who learned to love Renaissance dance in the Society for Creative Anachronism:

"I took her to her first ballet lesson last night.
Man was this working class single mom outclassed.
I was informed Nannies would be bringing the little
darlings the rest of the time. They just like to be
there for the first one. The two stay-home moms, with
prep-suited kids in tow, were cataloging all their
kids' achievements, which I didn't mind until they
started asking about my daughter's dance resume (at
10?).
One (patronizingly, I thought) asked Robyn what dancing she had done before.
She looks at the woman and says in all innocence ``I
know some Arbeau, bassa dances, Italian Court dances
and galliards. But branles are my favorite.''
There was total silence.
I am a proud SCA mother of a danceaholic."

Take that, snooty people! Hah ha!
The best thing is, I've danced with this kid, and she's really quite good for 10; not in the going-on-to-win-ego-trophies way, but in the having-such-a-great-time-and-earning-pride-in-herself way.

[pauraque]

I work at an art supply store, so I know all too well about the scrapbookers. *shudder*

[daughtershade.livejournal.com]

Those women need to discover the joys of slash.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Hee! that would be hilarious. Since i'm often writing it two chairs down from them.

[darthfox.livejournal.com]

you lost me at "scrapbooking".

the concept of scrapbooking as an activity baffles me (and i have a cousin i adore who's all into i think scrapbooks and also rubber stamps -- but she lives in the middle of nowhere. WAIT -- is it the new york state equivalent of where you live?)

okay, i'm a little drunk, so maybe i should leave the commenting until tomrorow morning.

[fer-de-lance.livejournal.com]

((Laughs)) I will cop to scrapbooking. At least, sort of. Okay, once. I took a trip to another continent, and over the course of my stay I pressed flowers from everywhere. Then I went home and mixed them in amongst the photos, along with strange bits like hotel stationery and attraction pamphlets and spare change and... whatnot. It was fun.

However, I can't imagine doing the sort of scrapbooking that involves lace doilies and rubber stamps. When you're making things specifically to go in the book, it's not scrap anymore!

Oh, and I really don't think I could manage it for something common or everyday. (My boxes and boxes of photos are lucky to have boxes, in other words.) It has to be something with a specific duration and focus -- if I take another exotic trip, for example, I might do it again. :D

[darthfox.livejournal.com]

no, right, that's exactly it. i don't have issues with keeping a scrapbook -- i have issues with scrapbooking. it's like you say: you can't make things for the scrapbook. at that point, it's a collage in a binder.

LOL

[kissingyrls.livejournal.com]

Im sorry, I just stumbled onto this journal, but I couldn't help but laugh. I'm a dancer and believe me, I *feel* your pain. Ballet Moms are the biggest pain in the world, especially the ones in Miami because they blend the Cuban notion that their child is the most important thing ever created in exsistance with that Ballet Mom obsessiveness about the promotion of their little darling. The absolute *worst* is during performances when they crowd the backstage so much they practiaclly shove us onto the stage. Oh, and don't get me started if they get into their heads that you purposely did something to mess up *their* kid- they are vicious. I only take comfort in the knowledge that they are in no way a new phenomenon- even Margot Foteyn had a Ballet Mom who they actually called the "Black Queen." :-) Gotta love the ballet world.

[misspamela.livejournal.com]

Oh, GOD. I'm the mom of a two 1/2 year old (I usually save talking about her for my other RL journal). I fear the Mombies. I fear them deeply. I've only had to deal with them in playgroups and preschool so far, but I can only imagine that it gets worse.

[venivincere]

Oh, wow! I think we live in the same town. In my circles it's the Soccer Mommies. They all have mini-vans and back yards and the kids all have dads who play with them. Every game day, their little guys are out there with ironed uniform shirts and the expensive soccer cleats, never mind they're going to wear them for, oh, a couple months before they grow out of them. They take turns bringing snacks for the team and they color-coordinate their folding chairs with their outfits. They all wear fresh lipstick. Oh, and I can't forget the gourmet water bottles for themselves and the kiddies.

Me, I barrel in straight from work in my aging Saturn, hand my kid (in his clean but wrinkled uniform) a recycled water bottle, and settle down to watch the game in my cheap fold-out chair from K-mart wearing a sticky dress I've been in all day and dollar-store panty-hose.

[imkalena.livejournal.com]

I don't have a Mommy Story, but that graphic novelization of The Familar is the coolest thing EVER.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Isn't it glorious? I'm so excited about it.

[lobelia321.livejournal.com]

What is scrapbooking? It gets mentioned now and again in Flylady emails. Does it mean glueing and sticking of mementoes?

Mums frighten me. Especially the sort that hangs out around the schoolgate, chatting.

I can cope with the picking-child-up-from-afternoon-school-club-at-six-pm mums. Just about.

Come to think of it, any woman with make-up on and/or high heels frightens me, unless I've known her for eight years.