Overheard and overseen

[resonant]

My haircutter: "I'd never have started my own business if I'd had ADHD meds. I'd have thought about it first."



"If you want to get yourself known, you've got to wear a bird."

"I'm cheating on my book with another book."

One of those magnetic ribbons stuck to a car, which said "I [heart] bingo."

At coffee shop: "That's OK. We sell consciousness."

One kid to another: "You are my friend. That's why you're gettin' whupped."

The spouse is tickling the kidlet, who is screaming with laughter, and over their high-pitched squeals I hear him shouting: "Are you fearful? You're in the subjunctive mood! Are you hopeful? You're in the subjunctive mood!" (Later they tell me that the name of this game is Explanation Tickling.)

In front of me is a truck with two bumper stickers. One says simply BACK OFF. The other says THE CLOSER YOU GET, THE SLOWER I'LL DRIVE. I'm lucky to be behind him and not in front of him; he's relentlessly tailgating the next car.

kidlet: "My hen and my pigeon are still in my pencil box, along with a number of other oddities ... a number of innities and outities ..."

best LJ friends group: ashes everywhere

Two religious guys come to my father-in-law's door to offer him a card that tells him how to achieve salvation. He says, "I've already got one of those; an old woman gave it to me." The guys say, "That's the wrong card!"

"No, thanks. I don't think I want to be married in a doughnut shop."

Great search strings used to find my website:
- "harem women." Got them to Term of Service. I wonder what they made of it.
- "thick thighs." This took someone straight to Advantage. I have no idea.

Best search ever for finding my website: "poems for kindergarten about nutrition." Srsly.

edited 2020 to retroactively correct the kidlet's gender pronouns

Comments

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Really? Oh, tell me! Because I was totally baffled.

[runpunkrun]

My first thought was Voodoo donuts in Portland, where you can actually get married amongst the donuts, which are all totally insane flavors, like, well, they had NyQuill donuts until the FDA cracked down on them.

http://www.voodoodoughnut.com/

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Interesting! And, eyew, NyQuil.

[somniesperus.livejournal.com]

Well, a couple of months ago, on the Something Awful messageboards, a guy posted a long thread, complete with pictures, about this awful roommate he had. The story ended with the roommate getting married in a doughnut shop, and everybody else said, wow, how weird. The story itself would be unremarkable, except that the roommate's dad is apparently a fairly famous comic book artist, and somebody told him about the thread. Famous artist!dad posted in his blog about how terrible it was that somebody could be so jealous of his wonderful son, and threatened to sue. It's now all over the internet like acne, I understand.

Anyway, I don't run across too many mentions of people getting married in doughnut shops, so it's either that, or the biggest coincidence ever.

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

Hee! That's very odd. I have no idea what it was all about.