Overheard and overseen

[resonant]

At the grocery:
PA system: "Attention, Shoppers: Catfish fingers, catfish fingers! Where, oh, where might I find catfish fingers?"
Cashier: "Oh, dear God in heaven."



In choir:
"I thought nobody liked the Ahs."
"Ahs are ahsome!"

"Why were you looking at the bathroom ceiling?"
"I have spiders. I was checking to make sure they were all accounted for."

"I'll put the tofu with the bacon. They have a lot to talk about."

"Eeeee! Rain in my cleavage!"

"You have just been calibrated, tabulated, and counted among the living."
"Oh, no! I'm in the wrong line."

Small kid on the plane: "And nobody bringed a bomb!"

Small kid: [inaudible whine]
Mom: "Your diamond? We'll get you another one."

Me: "Wouldn't you rather feel better, instead of just trying harder?"
Spouse: "Remember who you're talking to."

Two guys on a tandem bicycle -- one of them is carrying another bike on his shoulders! (Flat tire, apparently.)

Destination sign on training bus at Disney: "Earning My Ears."

Old guy: "How's my granddaughter?"
Teen with heavy black makeup, listlessly: "Fine, granddad."
Old guy: "You having fun?"
Teen: "Yeah."
Old guy: "Because sometimes Grandma and I think you're not."
Teen: [sighs]
Old guy: "You miss your cat?"
Teen [with first sign of vitality I've seen] "I miss my cat a lot. Milly's my other half!"

Guy at Epcot: "No, I'm still just getting mouthfuls of cartilage."

Woman at next table at restaurant: "Yeah, your first year working at Disney, you love everybody. After that ..." [trails off significantly]

"She always looks like that. All put together. And I look like I got dressed in a closet. In the dark. And it wasn't my closet."

Bathroom graffiti:
"Jake is gay!"
"Me too!"

Comments

[bostongirl2003.livejournal.com]

man, I need to move where you live. All I ever overhear is drunk college kids slurring. I'm not even sure they're using real words.

[resonant]

A lot of these come from sitting in coffee shops and not working on my writing.

[malnpudl]

I love these posts SO MUCH. I get all happy just seeing the subject line. :-)

[resonant]

I'm so glad someone appreciates them!

[mific]

I love the image I get of you scribbling in a notebook or on a napkin!

[resonant]

Yep! I carry a Mead Fat Little Spiral Notebook with me pretty much everywhere I go, and they're all giant messes of multiple works in progress, grocery lists, random daydreaming, notes about songs to download, and overheard quotes scribbled in all the margins. Sometime I should scan a page and post it.

[oracne]

I really these this morning!

[resonant]

They're always fun to gather.

[giglet]

There are wonderful!

Although I do have to wonder about the context for:
"You have just been calibrated, tabulated, and counted among the living."
"Oh, no! I'm in the wrong line."

[resonant]

That was in the line at the airport to get on the shuttle bus to Disney World. The first speaker is the official Disney guy who made sure we got on the right bus, and the second one is one of the other travelers.

[ecaterin]

This is a particularly delightful collection to me, for some reason :D

"I'll put the tofu with the bacon. They have a lot to talk about."

!!!! Hilarious :D

"You have just been calibrated, tabulated, and counted among the living."
"Oh, no! I'm in the wrong line."

....context, this comment demands context!!

Me: "Wouldn't you rather feel better, instead of just trying harder?"
Spouse: "Remember who you're talking to."

ROFL!!!! Know thyself, eh Spouse?

Old guy: "How's my granddaughter?"
Teen with heavy black makeup, listlessly: "Fine, granddad."
Old guy: "You having fun?"
Teen: "Yeah."
Old guy: "Because sometimes Grandma and I think you're not."
Teen: [sighs]
Old guy: "You miss your cat?"
Teen [with first sign of vitality I've seen] "I miss my cat a lot. Milly's my other half!"

OMG I love that. Her other haaaaaaaaaaalf! Adorable Goth Teenager is Adorable :D

"She always looks like that. All put together. And I look like I got dressed in a closet. In the dark. And it wasn't my closet."

*gigglesnort*

Bathroom graffiti:
"Jake is gay!"
"Me too!"

YK, this is the best answer to bathroom gay bashing I've heard :)

[monanotlisa]

Bathroom graffiti:
"Jake is gay!"
"Me too!"

YK, this is the best answer to bathroom gay bashing I've heard :)

Agreed!

Res, these made me grin, as always.

[resonant]

context.

[tingler]

These are great! I particularly like the closet one, thought the spider-check is a close second. I don't personally overhear much (wrong kind of focus, bad hearing) but the SB heard a good one the other day--"WTF? I should've called that fake ass bitch out in Bible Study!"

[monanotlisa]

"WTF? I should've called that fake ass bitch out in Bible Study!"

♥

[resonant]

Bwah! I love that.

[calico]

Yay, Overheards and overseens!

Reading these always makes me smile straight away, and then pay more attention to the world for the next couple of days. :)

[resonant]

I discovered my high school scrapbook a while back, and even back then I was doing this.

[miss_pryss]

OH MILLY! Seriously, that story totally made me smile.

[resonant]

I know! She was so cute! And her grandfather looked just like Wilford Brimley.

[krait]

"She always looks like that. All put together. And I look like I got dressed in a closet. In the dark. And it wasn't my closet."

Hahaha, that's so me. I always look like I threw on whatever I found on the floor. (Usually that's pretty accurate.) I envy people who know how to plan and style clothes into actual outfits; it's a highly arcane skill that I have always lacked. :D

[resonant]

I have a kind of uniform that I wear every day, and I only own solid colors, because I never developed the knack of matching patterns.

The kidlet, on the other hand, will wear one dress on top of another dress, with striped leggings, and somehow everything goes together.

[annezo]

I so love these. :)

[springwoof]

hilarious! love your Overheard quotes!

my favorite: "She always looks like that. All put together. And I look like I got dressed in a closet. In the dark. And it wasn't my closet." SO TRUE!