Overheard and overseen

[resonant]

At the grocery:
PA system: "Attention, Shoppers: Catfish fingers, catfish fingers! Where, oh, where might I find catfish fingers?"
Cashier: "Oh, dear God in heaven."



In choir:
"I thought nobody liked the Ahs."
"Ahs are ahsome!"

"Why were you looking at the bathroom ceiling?"
"I have spiders. I was checking to make sure they were all accounted for."

"I'll put the tofu with the bacon. They have a lot to talk about."

"Eeeee! Rain in my cleavage!"

"You have just been calibrated, tabulated, and counted among the living."
"Oh, no! I'm in the wrong line."

Small kid on the plane: "And nobody bringed a bomb!"

Small kid: [inaudible whine]
Mom: "Your diamond? We'll get you another one."

Me: "Wouldn't you rather feel better, instead of just trying harder?"
Spouse: "Remember who you're talking to."

Two guys on a tandem bicycle -- one of them is carrying another bike on his shoulders! (Flat tire, apparently.)

Destination sign on training bus at Disney: "Earning My Ears."

Old guy: "How's my granddaughter?"
Teen with heavy black makeup, listlessly: "Fine, granddad."
Old guy: "You having fun?"
Teen: "Yeah."
Old guy: "Because sometimes Grandma and I think you're not."
Teen: [sighs]
Old guy: "You miss your cat?"
Teen [with first sign of vitality I've seen] "I miss my cat a lot. Milly's my other half!"

Guy at Epcot: "No, I'm still just getting mouthfuls of cartilage."

Woman at next table at restaurant: "Yeah, your first year working at Disney, you love everybody. After that ..." [trails off significantly]

"She always looks like that. All put together. And I look like I got dressed in a closet. In the dark. And it wasn't my closet."

Bathroom graffiti:
"Jake is gay!"
"Me too!"

Comments

[resonant]

I discovered my high school scrapbook a while back, and even back then I was doing this.